Breaking Windows
by missixtyme
Summary: Bella had always assumed that the beautiful Edward was her Romeo, but after he left her broken she realizes she was mistaken. After a tragic run in with a familar vampire, Bella finds her true Romeo to be none other than the happy go lucky kid Jacob, who left her at the movies. However the similarities between Romeo and Juliet and Bella's life doesn't exclude from the tragic ending
1. Run Through Memory Lane

_**Hey Guys! OK this is my first fanfiction so don't be too hard on me. There is just a few things you need to know before you read this story.**_

_**1. I love to use description. If you don't like it, deal with it.**_

_**2. You have to have read the Twilight story to understand, if you haven't it may be difficult to follow at times, but still entertaining**_

_**3. Italics mean either thoughts or dreams**_

_**4. This is an imprint story**_

_**And lastly...**_

_**5. This is for TEAM JACOB, Team Edward feel free to leave right now.**_

_**This is a Bella and Jacob story. I am going to make Edward more of an antagonist in this story. I don't really have a set in stone map for this story, because i prefer to just write. OK!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer. The end! A large portion however is directly copied from the book so all rights go to her. I do no own any of these characters except for the one i make up which may occur late on in this story.**_

_**Summary: Bella had always assumed that the beautiful Edward was her Romeo, but after he left her hurt and broken, she realizes she was horribly mistaken. After a tragic run- in with a familar vampire, Bella finds her true Romeo to be none other than the happy go- lucky kid, Jacob, who left her at the movies. But like any true story of Romeo and Juliet tragedy strikes, when once again a clan of many bloodthirsty vampires threaten to kill her. Jacob and Bella struggle to be the exception.**_

_**REVISED!**_

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><p><em>1. A Run Through Memory Lane<em>

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><p><em>Louder, louder<em>

_And we'll run for our lives_

_I can hardly speak, I understand_

_Why you can't raise your voice to say..._

_-Leona Lewis; Run_

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><p>If it weren't for the gentle breeze that blew through the canopy of trees as I dashed through the dense forest I would swear this was a dream, a nightmare actually. The crisp air that ran through my matted brown hair used to bother me, but now as a I ran through the trees for a life I wouldn't be able to save, I wished I could have spent more time just letting the breeze tickle my body as I sat on the small wooden porch in my father's backyard in the rainiest city in the whole USA.<p>

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><p><em>My father would watch me through the window protectively as I leaned against the cold marble body of the man, which was at one time, my whole life. I would inhale the sweet toxic scent the dripped from him, run my hands across the rock hard, and cold arms that embraced me tenderly. His eyes, a honey butterscotch color, bored into mine, and his hair that framed his flawless face would be messy yet perfect.<em>

_The beauty would have astonished me, left me without words. I would just stare into his eyes and try to stuff as much as the moment I could into my memory. His face would turn indecipherable as he unsuccessfully tried to read my mind. He would sigh contently and then lean against me again._

"_I love you," he would whisper, with his delicious velvet voice._

"_I love you too," I murmured back. My heart would skip a beat, which caused a delicate blush to spread across my milky complexion._

_He would kiss my skin softly above the eyebrows. I would lean into the kiss, and feel my body yearn for the man that sat just centimeters away from me. _

_We would just sit there enjoying each others company for hours on end._

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><p>I could picture it so perfectly; there was so much we weren't able to do in the few short months that I was blessed with his company, but those moments were gone. <em>Ed-<em> _he_ was gone. A searing pain ripped through the already open wound. I clutched my aching chest as I continued to run.

_He _had once been my whole life. I couldn't imagine life without him only a few short months ago.

_He _had left me. The pain in my chest throbbed with every thought.

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><p><em>It was a nice day, a rare occurrence in the little town of Forks. I awoke with a smile on my face, with the sun streaming into my room from the open window. The gentle twitter of birds could be heard from the forest. A cool morning breeze blew effortlessly through the window and a deliciously toxic scent wafted to my nostrils.<em>

"_Edward," I breathed, letting the sweet smell intoxicate me with my every breath._

_In an instant he appeared near the windowsill. My eyes couldn't process his sudden entrance quickly enough. He was so perfect. I drank in his perfection for a minute, picturing myself as the bloodthirsty killer that I wished I could become._

"_Bella, may I talk to you," He whispered. Once again he took my breath away. I could never quite remember exactly how his velvet smooth voice rolled my name across his tongue, and hearing it caused furious butterflies to flutter their impatient wings._

_When I finally listened to the delicate words he spoke, my breath caught in my throat. _

_The famous break up words. _

_I struggled with the sudden nausea that overtook my body. My head began to spin, and I felt lightheaded. I leaned back against my pillow and breathed deeply. _

He just wants to talk Bella. That's it, stop overreacting. _I inhaled a intoxicating breath had tried to mask the sudden unease that bubbled through my body. _He loves you. _I reassured myself. Yet the sinking feeling wouldn't go away._

"_Bella," he asked searching my face. His eyes turned wicked, his face hard as he looked around the room. His usual honey golden irises had faded into a deep chestnut brown. Worry masked his perfect face, his mouth pressed firmly into a hard straight line, " I'll be outside."_

_A breeze rustled my hair, signaling his leaving. I jumped out of bed, the mattress creaking and sighing as I struggled to get out. _

_I landed with a thud on the burgundy colored hardwood. _

_Bed 1, Bella 0. _

_I regained composure and hurriedly rushed to my closet. _

_The closet was littered with fabric. Clothes hung off hangers and were strewn across the floor. My sneakers and my lone piece of jewelry lay in a crumpled heap on the floorboards._

I didn't do this. _I thought to myself. I reached for my Phoenix of Arizona hoodie and a plain pair of boot-cut blue jeans. I slipped them on and hurried to the bedroom. _

_I splashed cool water on my face, and let the cold-water droplets drip down my neck and onto my sweatshirt. I looked in the full bathroom mirror. _

_The sunny expression I woke up with was gone and replaced with one of dread. My eyes looked dead and distant, my skin was a sickly pale against the black hoodie. I ran a frayed toothbrush against my teeth and pulled a brush through my bed hair. I ran out the door and nearly into Charlie._

"_Where are you going," He said in a monotone type of voice. It shocked me._

_Yes it was my dad and of course I knew what his voice sounded like, but the way he said it freighted me. It was hard and forced. _

_On closer inspection I notice his eyes were dreary and heavy like he hadn't slept in weeks. He looked older than I remembered. _

_The wrinkles surrounding his eyes were more prominent, his slightly curly brown hair was streaked with gray and the curls hung matted against his skull, his mustache was thick like it hadn't been shaved in awhile, and his entire body looked thin and frail. He was wearing his police uniform, but unlike before it hung loosely. _

_He looked horrible._

"_Out, friends maybe," I shifted my gaze to the floor, focusing on the delicate pattern of the hardwood. I was a horrible liar; I knew he would see through my lie. _

_It wasn't like he didn't like Edward, but I knew something about him creeped Charlie out. I returned my gaze to Charlie, expecting a stern look. But he looked distant, withdrawn, and he stared past me._

_He returned his gaze to me after a few moments. His eyes screamed with horror. He quickly regained composure, masking his sudden discomfort with an unreadable expression._

_"Fine, jss- just stay out of the woods alright," he stuttered, "There's been some animal killings and I want you to be safe. Be home by 5. We are invited over to Billy's for supper tonight."_

"_Of course dad," I stared up at him. He was really scared. He was fidgeting with his fingers and looking past me, "Bye." _

_I walked past him briskly, yearning for the comfort of Edward._

_What ever was going on with Charlie would have to wait. As I carefully made my way down the stairs, avoiding the creaky ones, I heard a wretched sob from upstairs. My heart ached at the sound of my father cry just a few feet above me, but I was eager to hear what Edward had to say. I slammed the front door behind me, desperate to rid the heartbreaking cries of my father from upstairs._

_My feet crunched in the soft gravel that littered our front yard. Edward was leaning against my red Chevy pick up that I tenderly loved. His face was impenetrable, his eyes showed no emotion compared to the usual life that flashed behind them, "Hi," I whispered, feeling the overwhelming sensation of dread._

"_Hi," he whispered back, barely loud enough for my human ears to register. _

_His hand snatched out and grabbed mine roughly. I squirmed uncomfortably under his bone-crushing grip. _

_He loosened, sensing my discomfort, but didn't let go. _

_He led me across the street into the line of trees. _

_I stopped abruptly, though he did not. I lurched forward and landed in the rocky earth beneath my feet as he continued to pull me into the dense Fork's forest. _

_"For god's sake Bella," he hissed._

_Blood rushed to my ears, blocking out his sudden anger towards me. I wiped my dirt-streaked pants off with the back of my hand. He crossed his arms impatiently, a menacing glare seeping from his perfect face. I clutched my chest, "Charlie said that there was animal killings recently. And that I should stay out of the forest," I knew he could protect me, that wasn't the issue. Going against me father's wishes when he was that upset felt wrong._

"_It wasn't an animal Bella," he growled at me._

_Silent tears slipped down my face. I quickly wiped them away. This one time I was truly seeing the monster that was Edward._

_Suddenly his expression changed, he looked upset, disappointed in himself. I knew he didn't mean to hurt me. He smiled my favorite crooked smile, but it didn't reach his eyes, " I am sorry Bella."_

"_S'okay," I viciously wiped the tears from my face. I didn't want to make him feel worse then he already did. I walked closer, closing the space that was created between us._

_I wanted him so badly. I wanted to taste his smooth buttery lips envelope mine, feel the coldness of his body pressed firmly into me, and feel his dark honey hair run through my fingers. I leaned into him and closed my eyes, but he pulled away. The sudden cold left my body leaving me feel empty. I struggled to mask the hurt I felt._

_Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable._

"_Okay, Lets talk," I said. It sounded a little braver than I felt. But I was sure he could hear the loud thudding coming from my chest_

_He took a deep breath. "Bella, we're leaving."_

_I took a deep breath, too. He wasn't going to leave me after all. My heart slowed and I calmed considerably. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But I still had to ask. "Why now? Another year-"_

_"Bella, it's time. Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."_

_His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family rest in peace. Why did he have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant. He stared at me coldly. With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd misunderstood. "When you say we-," I whispered._

_"I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct like I was a child he was talking to._

_I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak." Okay", I said," I'll come with you."_

_"You can't Bella. Where we're going... It's not the right place for you." "Where you are is not the right place for me." "I'm no good for you, Bella."_

_"Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."_

_"My world is not for you," he said grimly._

_"What happened with Jasper- that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!"_

_"Your right," he agreed," It was exactly what was to be expected."_

_"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-" I shouted, the tears running freely down my face._

_"As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me._

_"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me- somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you- it's yours already!"_

_He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder- like the liquid gold had frozen solid._

_"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he were really saying._

_There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent." You... don't...want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order._

_"No."_

_I stared, uncomprehendingly, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz- hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken._

_"Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded. The tears had stopped, leaving my face damp. I still couldn't realize what he was telling me, it didn't make any sense._

_He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you...in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm... Tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I'm not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."_

_"Don't." My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. My hands were clenched firmly at my sides, "Don't do this."_

_He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. "You're not good for me, Bella."_

_I had no argument. How well I knew that I wasn't good enough for him. I opened my mouth to say something, and then closed it again. He waited patiently, his face wiped clean of all emotion. I tried again. " If that's what you want."_

_He nodded once._

_My whole body went numb. I couldn't feel anything below the neck._

_"I would like to ask one favor though, if it's not too much," he said. I wonder what he saw on my face, because something flickered across his own face in response. But, before I could identify it, he'd composed his features into the same serene mask._

_"Anything," I vowed, my voice faintly stronger. As I watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again, molten, burning down into mine with an intensity that was overwhelming._

_"Don't do anything reckless or stupid," he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"_

_I nodded furiously, my head bobbing up and down. My lip quivered as tears waited impatiently at the tips of my eyes, ready to spill._

_His eyes cooled, the distance returned. "I'm thinking of Charlie of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself- for him."_

_I nodded again. "I will," I whispered, forcing the tears that were about to spill over my cheeks back into my eye sockets._

_He seemed to relax a little._

_"And I'll make you a little promise in return," he said," I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be like I never existed." his words were cut and sharp. I felt the shooting pain as if they had stabbed me._

_My knees must have started to shake, because the trees were suddenly wobbling. I could hear the blood pounding faster than normal behind my ears. His voice sounded farther away._

_He smiled gently. "Don't worry. You're human- your memory is more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."_

_"And your memories?" I asked. It sounded like there was something stuck in my throat, like I was chocking._

_"Well,"-he hesitated for a short second-"I won't forget. But my kind...we're very easily distracted." He smiled; the smile was tranquil and it did not touch his eyes. He looked sympathetic, but fake. Like the pain he was putting me through was nothing but a joke to him. He took a step away from me. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."_

_The plural caught my attention. That surprised me; I would have thought I was beyond noticing anything right now. "Alice isn't coming back," I realized. I don't know how he heard me-the words made no sound- but he seemed to understand._

_He shook his head slowly, always watching my face. "No, they're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."_

_"Alice is gone?" I said, my voice blank with disbelief._

_"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."_

_I was dizzy; it was hard to concentrate. His words swirled around in my head, and I heard the doctor at the hospital in phoenix, last spring, as he showed me the x-rays. You can see it's a clean break, his finger traced along the picture of my severed bone. That's good. It will heal more easily, more quickly. I tried to breathe normally. I needed to concentrate, to find a way out of this nightmare._

_"Goodbye, Bella," he said in the same quiet voice._

_"Wait!" I chocked the word out, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward. I thought he was reaching for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrists and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed._

_"Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin._

_There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on the small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage._

_He was gone._

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><p>The tears streamed down my face blurring my vision. It felt like a lifetime ago. I could hardly picture his face anymore, the edges blurred and I could never get his voice to sound exactly right.<p>

_It will be like I never existed._

Those words stung the most.

I shock my head vigorously, desperate to free the memory from my mind. Combined with the loss of vision, the shaking of my head and my uncoordinated self, I tumbled to the ground, landing in a bloody and crumpled mess on the forest floor.

"Well, well, well I believe your time is finally up Miss Isabella Swan."

My breath caught in my throat as icy hands ran over my neck.

His voice was a musical lit, but mocking, "What would it matter if a worthless girl like you just disappeared?"

His hands clutched my throat. I gasped as the tears ran over my cheeks. I would never see my dad again, I would never find out what ever happened to Jake, Edward was gone, and my life was over.

I braced myself as his grip tightened. I felt my legs snap under his weight as he leaned on me, trying to get closer to my neck.

I choked for air.

I tried to scream.

Blood was flowing from an open wound on my neck. The stench of blood enveloped my nostrils, sending a wave of nausea to envelope me.

_You can't even stand the smell of blood when dying Bella?_

I felt myself slip; unconsciousness was taking me over. The vampire licked hungrily at the blood that flowed from my neck. I was dead.

I struggled for my last breath of air.

The pain was unbearable; I wanted to die.

Blackness was starting to creep up my vision. I closed my eyes determined to not let the vampire be the last thing I see.

I felt myself thinking about Jake, picturing him the last day I saw him. I would never go to his graduation, never see his kids, or see him grow up.

I choked back a scream.

This was it.

I was dead.

Moments before I slipped out of consciousness, I heard a scream and the grip on my neck loosened and broke free. The rush of cold air as the vampire sped away, smacked me in the face.

The reason why the vampire sped of I would never know.

The cold of the vampire's skin still lingered on mine.

I couldn't open my eyes; I was done.

Dead.

Suddenly, the cold was replaced with unnatural warmth. I wanted to look, but it was too late.

I finally slipped into a never-ending sea of darkness.

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><p><em><strong>Missy~ I edited this, cause it actually scared me with the amount of grammatical errors. Hopes it's better!<strong>_


	2. Unnatural Warmth

_**No reviews yet, but i think some people are reading it. if your scared to leave the first comment don't be! I want to hear back from you guys so I can improve! Ok so this chapter is a lot shorter than the first ones but i can't write 4,000 words per chapter this story will be so long! Anyway, it's been awhile since i updated but i was waiting for a comment... but i was getting restless so i just had to upload another one! Please Please review! I want your negative and positive comments. Please, please, please...**_

_**Note: Ok so i am sure you guys understand that Jacob was the wolf that saved her from James? Right, Right? I hope so... SO she hasn't looked him in the eyes yet, which means he hasn't imprinted yet. (In my version you have to look them in the eyes to imprint) Just wanted to clarify that.**_

_**Enjoy! And REVIEW!**_

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><p>2. Unnatural Warmth<p>

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><p><em>I'd like to close my eyes, go numb<em>

_But there's a cold wind coming from_

_The top of the highest high-rise today._

_It's not a breeze 'cause it blows hard._

_Yes and it wants me to discard the humanity I know,_

_Watch the warmth blow away._

_~ The Warmth; Incubus_

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><p><em>A ruby red iris bore into my skull. Cold marble skin was pressed firmly against me. A perfect face, smooth granite like skin in a stunning snow white was framed with honey blonde hair secured with a ponytail, flew effortlessly down the back of my murderer. His mouth turned into a sickening smirk as I screamed and gasped for a lungful of cool air. Arctic cold hands wrapped forcefully around my delicate human neck, cutting off my oxygen supply and the highways of veins that supplied by head with blood.<em>

_I felt my neck snap under the ever-increasing pressure that the bloodthirsty vampire applied. The crimson blood curving from my wounds made the malicious creature throw his head back and cackle a wicked sound, and I felt my self dying under his control. _

_My eyes screamed horror as the whites rolled in. I hit the ground with a nauseating thud. Waves of terror flew through my body. I gasped and chocked as each lungful of air I breathed was filled with my own blood. _

_I felt myself crumble._

_My body was done fighting, too tired to even try. I wished for darkness to come and the light of heaven to arrive. My heart rate slowed, and I welcomed death with a warm embrace._

_The cold tongue of the vampire swept along my jaw line, lapping up the blood that poured from my wounds. Seconds before the darkness cloaked me, a piercing howl rung through the lush forest. Unnatural warm encased my body. I felt the cold of the vampire fade away as the warmth overtook me. _

_I struggled to open my eyes one last time, so my mind would not picture the beautiful, but vile vampire for the rest of eternity. Through the blood that covered my eyes a long black muzzle kissed me gently on the nose. The russet fur of the wolf clung to my soaking wet clothes as it stood over me. I smiled to the animal and let my mind drift back into the darkness._

"Bella," a hazy voice cooed, "Bella wake, up."

I struggled to release the darkness that clouded my brain. _Was I dead? _I thought.

The last thing I could remember was James standing over me, his firm hands, chilling my bones as he gripped my neck tighter.

I tried to release my hands from the icy embrace that chilled my entire body and left me immobile.

_Oh no._

My heart rate quickened as I attempted to free myself from the icy grip of the vampire I believed still held me under his captive, to no avail. An annoying alarm sounded from across the room, panicked footsteps entered, and struggled with the annoying contraption.

"What's happening to her," a panicked voice called. Abnormally warm hands cupped my wrists as they shook my frail body back and forth.

I groaned inwardly. _A hospital. What did I do know? _Realization hit.

_James._

_I survived? _

I tried to put the pieces together. There was no way I survived a vampire intact. Well, not intact, considering the fact that I was in a hospital, but I was alive.

My tired brain struggled to fit the pieces back together. I had seen something right before I was knocked unconscious from the blood loss my body endured.

_Unnatural warmth. _

That's all I could remember.

The warm hands that stroked the soft skin where the IV pumped a steady stream of cool fluid into my veins, felt abnormally warm against my skin.

_Oh, no._

The alarm sounded once more.

_I was wrong; I'm not in a hospital. _I thought to myself, as the morphine clogged my brain, leaving me with a distorted view on reality. The warm hands abruptly left my wrists, the heat of the touch still lingering on my skin.

A slew of curses rang in my ears.

"It's all right Jacob," another voice chuckled, "she's just reacting to your touch. It's seems she has finally broken from the coma."

_Jacob? What was he doing here? _I hadn't spoken or heard from Jake since the tragic night at the movie theaters, almost 4 months ago. I kind of got the idea that we were no longer friends.

I had tried calling him but every time Billy would answer and say Jake was out with his friends. I knew he was upset about the whole Mike thing, but I didn't think it had anything to do with me.

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><p>"<em>Bella," Billy breathed, an irritated edge to his usually friendly tone, "I am not going to tell you again."<em>

"_Please Billy," I tried to sound irritated too, but once again my voice betrayed me and I ended up sounding like a whiny little girl._

_A sigh sounded on the other end of the line, "Look Bella, Jake…he told…me… you to stop calling. He doesn't want to hear from you."_

_My breath caught in my chest. The wound that Edward created when he left throbbed. My heart constricted as the part of my chest that had begun to heal split open under the pressure of Billy's cruel words. It felt like hours had passed. I held my chest together, desperately clinging to the edges of the cut, trying to pull them together._

_It felt like I was choking. _

_Choking on the words Billy had said, desperate to not le them sink into my body. I sputtered and shook unable to form the jumbled words that tumbled out of my mouth._

"_Goodbye Bella."_

_I stared at the phone in my hands, listening as the line clicked dead and the tone start signaling the end of the conversation and just possibly the end of my heart._

_It was one thing for my boyfriend, my life to leave me, but then as hot sticky tears rained down my cheeks, I realized I had also lost my best friend._

That was the last time I called_._

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><p><em><strong>Dang! This chapter is short! Sorry, I will write about 2,000 word ones next time. Maybe in a few days will be the next chapter... Not sure!<strong>_

_**~Missy EDITED**_


	3. Realization

**_Hello! This one came much earlier than expected. I just hope its just as good. It's still not as long as the first one, but i am nearly certain the next one will be longer. This one came quick so it's going to be shorter. Tell me if you want earlier chapters or longer ones. Or i can sometimes see about both. School starts up soon again so they won't be this quick. Ok!_**

**_Enjoy! _**

3. Realization

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><p><em>Choking on these words<em>

_You can leave now_

_Oh haven't you heard_

_You can leave now..._

_- Choking; Angus and Julia Stone_

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><p><em>Why was Jacob here? <em>Billy had made it loud and clear that I was no longer welcome to be graced by their presence. I could feel the imaginary restraints locking down my wrists, wrenching my eyes closed, enabling me from finding out myself.

_Jake, Jake, Jake. _My mind chanted. I had a sudden desperation. I _needed_ to see him. _Jacob. _Pictures of Jacob flashed through my head. But like my remaining images of Edward, they were hazy and blurry. Like a camera out of focus.

My felt my body jolt. There was no way I was going to let Jacob abandon me like _he _did. I needed to open my eyes, but the steady stream of morphine and god knows what else, that was being pumped into my blood stream prevented me from doing so.

My body and eyes wouldn't cooperate. The cloak of darkness in my brain would not lift. I was trapped inside my body.

"Bella?"

The voice ripped at the whole in my chest. _Jake. I need you. _

"Excuse me, could you please leave Miss Swan alone? She has had quite the traumatic experience."

An inhuman growl, barely audible, ripped through my ears. I suddenly became aware of the body hovering over me.

"Jacob, please," a familiar gruff voice declared from across the room.

A rush of cold air graced my pale skin.

I struggled against my body. My mind clawed at the edges of unconscious. My heart rate quickened, the annoying alarm from earlier blared once more. The heat returned, warming me, thawing the icy panes of my skin.

"Bella!"

I gasped and chocked involuntary. Desperately shaking the blackness out of my mind. Russet colored skin broke through the pitch black darkness of my mind.

"Jacob, now!" bellowed a voice that dripped authority.

The warmth once again left my skin leaving me feel hollow and empty. I yearned for the warmth, craved it. I fought with my stubborn eyes, forcing them open enough for blinding white light to cloak the darkness.

Finally the shadows drifted away. The heavenly white light soothed me and I calmed considerably. I managed to open my eyes wide enough it see a giant russet skinned man retreat from the hospital room.

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><p>"Miss Swan, could I get you something," an overly friendly nurse asked.<p>

I squinted at the nametag pinned to the bleach white scrubs. _Akeley Partridge. _Strange.

"No thanks, _Akeley?" _I rolled the words across my tongue. The drugs they clogged my brain with, left my voice sounding foreign and forced.

She smiled an apologetic smile, flashing rows of perfect purely white teeth. She turned and left the room. Her silky brown hair spilling over her shoulders as she walked gracefully out of the room. I envied her.

I envied everyone right now. Angela, Jessica, and Lauren were presumably worrying about the prom, their dates, finals. Not about vampires wishing to kill them, not about if they will ever leave the hospital room ever again, or about if their best friend still is their "best friend", or above all if they will ever survive without a certain golden eyed vampire who left them all those months ago.

A searing pain tugged at the scarred tissue of my heart. I clutched my chest together, avoiding the lines of IV running across my hands and arms.

I took a look around the one-person hospital room. The walls and floors were completely white, not a scuff or mark streaked across the marble floors. Vases of white Gerber daisy's, pink hued roses, orange tulips and yellow Birds of Paradise sat in overly priced ceramic containers, lined the windowsill. A few get well soon silver balloons, danced in the cool summer breeze from the open window in the left corner of the room. A miserable looking giant teddy bear, sat in the only chair under the window. White painted maple cabinets lined the outskirts of the window.

I stole a glance at my sickly pale hands. 5 different IV lines poked into the delicate skin, reminding me that I didn't survive the vampire attack unscathed. The white skin, blended almost seamlessly into the white cotton fabric of my bed.

"Hey, there's my girl! You look better." Charlie cooed as he entered the overly white room. A smile graced his pale skin, but it did not reach his eyes, which were dark and sunken-like he hadn't slept for days, which I was positive he hadn't. A brown paper bag, with the emblem of McDonald's was clutched between his aging hands. He looked exhausted. His bones creaked and moaned as he made the short distance to the chair at the far end of the room.

I trained my eyes on him. He lifted the giant teddy bear up and out of the white leather chair. It sunk to the ground like a defeated warrior. My eyes were beginning to get to crossed so I reluctantly tore my gaze away long enough to rub my tired eyes with my sickly pale fingers. In the next instant he was the there.

Leaning over me, shaking the bag between his fingers, inches from my face.

"I got you a strawberry milkshake."

"Thanks," I was surprised at how my voice sounded. It was frail and weak and barely a whisper. I shook my head from side to side and swallowed deeply. The sudden movements left me feeling even more nauseous than I already felt. I scrunched my eyes quickly closed, desperate to rid the horrible feeling rising from the pit of my stomach, " I would have been fine with the hospital food. You didn't have to go to so much trouble." I managed, once the feeling passed.

He smiled, "Please Bella." He snorted, but it came out sounding like a plea.

I took the cold pink cup from his hands and smiled gratefully. The smooth liquid swirled over my tongue. The sudden sugar rush awoke my senses, leaving me feel nervous and jittery. The chill from the drink coursed through my body. I used to crave the cold, yearn for the comfort as I lay in my bed those few months ago, but now, the cold reminded me of the malicious creature that had nearly succeeded in killing me, of the beautiful creature that had left me. I hate the cold; hate what it does to me.

I placed the cup on the nightstand beside the hospital bed and breathed deeply.

"What happened Charlie?" I wanted to know the story, even if it wasn't true.

He sighed and looked out the window. Staring intently at nothing in particular. Looking, but not really seeing. "Nobody really knows."

My breath caught in my throat. _Nobody really knows. _Not knowing must be killing him. _If only I could tell him the truth. _

"You were in real bad shape when Jake found you in the woods. We didn't think you would make it."

"Jake…found…me?" I couldn't believe it.

"Yup, you owe him big time."

Realization hit. _What? This can't be happening._

"Found you, right before you passed out from blood loss. Do you remember what happened?" he turned to stare at me.

My head was spinning. I gulped for air. I felt my face turn beat red. I was chocking, choking on disbelief. I sputtered and gasped, as alarms all around me blared and beeped. My heart was pounding against my chest, trying to break out of my body. I felt like I was going to die.

"Nurse!" Charlie screamed, leaping up spilling his own milkshake onto the perfect marble ground, leaving a pink streak of mushy liquid. Frantic nurses and doctors entered the room pushing buttons and poking me.

Blood was pounding in my ears, making the chaos seem distant and far away, as I continued to cough and choke and sputter for air. My vision was hazy the lines of the people leaning over me were blurred beyond recognition. I felt unbelievably cold and warm at the same time. Darkness seeped into my vision blocking out the bright white of the hospital room. As the chaos disappeared behind the blackness, I felt myself drift, threatening; dangerously close to the edge of passing out.

_Jake_ _found me; the wolf was standing over me before I passed out._ _The unnatural warmth of the wolf; the warmth of Jake's hands as they cupped my wrists. The russet fur of the wolf; same color of Jake's skin. _

Then the darkness enveloped me.

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><p><strong><em>Short : ( next chapter will have some Jacob and Bella in it ;)<em>**


	4. Mistakes

_**Hey people! Chapter 4 is here! It took a little longer than the rest because of school and, yes, it's finally longer! 2,000 words. But i don't know what you guys want so you are going to have to Read and REVIEW! I need and want your feedback so please please pleases! **_

_**Enjoy!**_

4. Mistakes

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><p><em>Don't speak to me this way<em>

_Don't ever let me say Don't leave me again x2_

_I never felt this loss before_

_And the world is closing doors_

_I never wanted anything more._

_-Moby; Mistake_

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><p><em>A forest. Majestic ferns, towering oaks and the sweet, sweet smell of pine and earth pierce my nostrils. The ocean. The gentle crashing of waves, the unmistakable salty mist drifts to my senses. A magnificent peak, appearing to stab the heavy rain clouds emerges. The roar of the ocean louder and harsher, no longer the gentle beacon of comfort I love. The cold. The deadness of the cold seeps into my skin, the kind of cold you picture of death, harsh and unwelcoming. The wind howls and screams, taking my breath away. I'm falling. I hit the waves so hard; the air trapped in my lungs escapes in a huge whoosh. The cold of the water drenches my skin, making my body go numb instantly. It seeps into my eyes, ears, mouth; I don't know which ways up, I can't see, and I sink to the farthest depths of the sea. The comforting beams from the sun warm my dying skin. The light calls to me, pulls me closer. But it's replaced. A fiery mass of russet colored fur blocks the rays of sunshine. The color of leather I conclude. A wolf, the size of a horse. It's thick black claws latch onto my skin, pulling me to the surface. The water bubbles as I scream with all my might. We bob at the surface, the wolf staring hungrily at me. I search its coal black eyes, desperately seeking a hint of reverence. But they are not wolf eyes. I stare at the eyes, as the wolf around it blurs like the movement of water. I recognize the eyes.<em>

"_Hey Bells," the creature whispers, it's voice thick and husky with adoration. _

"_My Jacob," I whisper. Then I start to scream. _

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><p>"Bella!"<p>

I awake with a start, my heart pounding. The last of the dream drifts away, leaving me back in the boring, scary white hospital room.

"Charlie," I whisper, my voice hoarse and dry from my screaming, "What happened."

"You passed out," he replies, stifling a yawn and rubbing his eye with his fist. " You really scared me Bella."

He looked generally horrified. His eyes were a deep violet, tired and barely open. But his face was frozen in a horrified grimace.

"Sorry, Dad." I felt so bad for him. The weight of my problems was crushing him under their weight. "Go home, please."

He just smiles.

"Really, I'm not 5 anymore, I can take care of myself."

His face freezes instantly, his eyes heavy and sad," Get some rest."

I sigh, and lean back against the pillow. Charlie was just as stubborn as me. The second I close my eyes, the dream drifts back.

I awake with a start. My body lifts from the hospital bed like a patient being zapped to life. "Why was Jake here" I ask.

Charlie rubs his eyes again. "Make sure you were ok." A tinge of frustration seeping from his cherry red lips.

"But, he hasn't spoken to me in months. He completely ignored me; he wouldn't even answer when I called. Why-"

"Kinda of like you did to him," he interrupts. His eyes drop to the floor, focusing on the lines in the marble. They lift again and stare at me, angrily.

"What? No-"

"When _he_ left you, you ignored Jacob's calls, everyone's calls actually." He knew not to say his name, "Why should you complain."

I stared at him. Unable to comprehend the words he was saying. "_I _did nothing!" I yelled, unable to control the words tumbling from my mouth. Charlie didn't understand, "It was nothing like that! I at least talked to him eventually."

"Well not soon enough. You broke the kid's heart. Billy told me. You know he loved you."

"But-"

"Listen, I know you didn't mean to hurt him, but you did. Jake was as bad as you. He of course didn't stop shoveling barrels full of food into his mouth, but he moped, he had nightmares and he didn't leave the house up in till I called."

"But, Char-"

"Bells," He smoothed the hair away from my eyes, as thick tears rolled down my cheeks, " I know _he _hurt you, but that doesn't mean you have to hurt Jake. He's a good kid, younger than you too. He loves you, at least give him a chance."

I was stunned. This had to have been a longer conversation than all of our other ones combined. "But I love Ed-_him. _Jake's a friend. Nothing more. He will never be anything more."

"But you love him."

"Not like that."

Charlie frowned and looked down at his hands. The muscles in his jaw worked. He opened his mouth to say something, but snapped it shut again.

"You're making a _big _mistake," he spat, venom in his words. His eyes seared a hole through my heart and I had to clutch the sides together, so I wouldn't collapse under the weight of Charlie's words.

"I know," I looked down, unable to look into his icy cold stare. The truth was, that I _did _know. That was the problem. I loved Jake, I really did. But I was broken. Broken beyond repair. Edward had left, me and stole a piece of my heart. My heart was empty. There was no more love to give. If I somehow got back what Edward had took, it would be so cold that no one would even want it. I didn't want Jake to have to deal with a broken person like me, he deserved better. And besides I still loved Edward, and I part of me believed he would still come back.

"Bella, you're making a big mistake," he repeated, less cold this time. He got up to leave, his bones creaking in protest. "The doctor said you would be fine to go home tomorrow, I'll pick you up then."

I couldn't look at him. My eyes were frozen on the cotton-spread sheet. I could hear the clack of his shoes, echo down the hall and retreat out of the heavy ward doors.

I let out a strangled breath of air. I hadn't even realized I'd been holding my breath. The patter of rain touched the window gently. It's non-rhythmic beat calmed me considerably. I liked the unpredictable tempo. I didn't know what would come next, predictability was nice though, you always knew what was yet to come, but I didn't like predictability because eventually, it becomes unpredictable. And when that happens, it scares the shit out of you.

I sighed and looked at the clock. _3:00_, the blinking red lights read, 7 or so hours until I was released from this unconventional prison.

I had no idea, what day or even month it was. I hadn't even bothered to ask. I knew what the day was when James attacked me, but not how long ago it was. That day, the last day I was outside, I could picture so perfectly.

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><p><em>It was a cool march 6<em>_th__ day. The snow was almost completely melted, but the nights would still be below 0, a glacial patch of ice had frozen on the walkway. My bright red Chevy pick up purred as I stepped gingerly toward it. Back pack in hand I leaned over the side of the truck and swung the heavy material into the flat bed. The force of my throw and the slippery patch of ice knocked my feet out from underneath me. Charlie had already left for work so I lay on the ground waiting patiently for the immense pain to subside. My head throbbed with every heartbeat and I lifted a trembling hand to stroke the wet hair matted to my skull. It came back slick red, made a lot worse by the puddle of water I had landed in. The smell, made me instantly woozy and I had to put my head between my knees to stop it. I hadn't heard him approach, but I suddenly became aware of the cold radiating my body. A smile was on my face instantly; I assumed it was _him. _But the smile slid off my face as I looked up under my lashes and was replaced with a horrified expression. _

_"Run," he whispered, a coy smile tugging at the corners of his perfect mouth. _

_I took off into the dense forest, for a reason I don't understand. Maybe I thought he would lose track of me? I don't think I was in the right state of mind to reason properly. _

_I tripped a couple of times. Each time making the blood coming from the wound in my head, bleed more furiously. _

_The trees were blurry and crooked and a horrific haze clouded my vision. I was stumbling more then, each time becoming weaker and a little clumsier._

_I remember breaking through the forest. The meadow. Our meadow. This seemed to be a good place to die. The air whooshed from my lungs, my arms flailing out in front of me. I cried a blood-curdling scream. Suddenly I was on the ground. Screaming and crying in pain the sounds coming out in hyperventilating sobs. James was on my back watching the blood pour from my neck and head, his weight crushing my bones. I felt my ribs crack, I couldn't breath, and the air wouldn't get to my lungs. He leaned on my legs, snapping them. I moaned in pain. _

_"Well, well, well I believe your time is finally up Miss Isabella Swan. If only you were a vampire like me then you possibly could have a chance, but you are just a worthless human being." _

_I just nodded. Tears tracking a river down my face. _

* * *

><p>That's all I could remember. That's all I <em>wanted <em>to remember. The memory caused a dull ache when I thought about it. I didn't want to remember how close I came to death. I thought about it enough in those moments when James was killing me.

I took a deep breath, which made my voice catch and quake. I felt like the walls of the room were closing in. I couldn't breath. I _had_ to get out.

I pushed the white covers off of my legs and swung a heavy foot over the bed. It bounced against the metal frame with a dull thud, like the sound of an elephant lumbering across a plain. The various IV's that had been snaked into my body had been removed that afternoon. I listened for the squeaks of a nurse's shoe, the echoes of a whisper, but all that could be heard was the deafening quiet.

Why is it when the roar of quiet is so loud, that it hurts your ears, every movement you make sounds 10x louder? That's what it sounded like as I carefully made my way down the hall. The scuff of my own feat made me jump, the scuttle of my movements sounding like a herd of elephants was awkwardly barreling down the vacant hall. I had to take frequent rests; my frail body wasn't accustomed to walking these short yet long distances.

One time, as I was leaning against a wall, the sound of a machine flat lined. The sudden cries of family members could be heard even from behind the closed door. It was too much to handle. That could have been my friends and family crying in pain over the loss of me. I quickly scurried out of there.

The smell of rain clouded my nostrils when I reached the swinging glass doors that were perched at the end of my ward. I pushed it open and stepped out, barefoot, in the heavy down pour. The fat heavy water droplets, cascading from above, soaked their way into my hospital gown, hair and skin.

I felt so free. The rain instantly calmed my nerves. I stepped away from the doorway, my feet splashing in the puddles as I walked onto the green grass.

I twirled around in wide circle, trying not to get dizzy. I jumped and splashed and laughed. I was having so much fun that I didn't notice the beautiful creature approach.

"Bella!"

I tumbled to the ground, landing in a muddy heap on the grass. I couldn't believe it. I looked up under my lashes and into the familiar golden eyes.

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><p><em><strong>Next Chapter: Charlie POV! Tell me what you think! R&amp;R!<strong>_


	5. Explanations

**_Hey Guys so i know this chapter took forever to upload (Months maybe but who's counting) But nobody told me to hurry up so i didn't ( :) ) (*Smily face in brackets*) Anyway i have something really important to ask you guys..._**

**_READ BEFORE YOU RAD STORY: _****_ Soo i really need at least 6 reviews if you want this story to continue. I will still write it but if you want to read it it you have to review. (One for each chapter plus an extra one just cause ;) To make this extra amazing if i get 25 reviews then i will write a special something for the reviewer of their choice! or a shout out or whatever they want fanfic related. Plus anyone who reviews i will write you back or shout out or review your stories too! You can't really lose... Anyway if you have any questions ideas suggestions pm or review! I will write back 3 Also i have this idea for a BxJ quick (I forget the word!) story thing that's kind of cute if anyone wants me to write it just cause then i will. But you people need to tell me these things! Oh K READ AND REVIEW _**

**_Things to know: _****_After convo with Bella_**

**_Charlie POV_**

**_ENJOY (read and review :P) _**

5. Explanations

_If it takes my whole life_

_I won't break, i won't bend_

_I will all be worth it_

_Worth it in the end_

_Cause I can only tell you what i what i know _

_That i need you in my life_

_When the stars have all gone out_

_You'll still be burning so bright_

_-Sarah McLachlan; Answers_

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><p>I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the disgusting smell of hospital. My body twitching with hate at the walls around me. They seemed to be never ending; going on till the end of the world. I could practically picture the faces of the lost souls, trapped in the walls, not knowing where to go, stare and moan at me in an effort to free themselves. But the wall just smirked a sickening bloodthirsty smirk, the kind of smile you picture on a deranged psychiatric patient that just admitted to their victims their plans for them. The floors seemed to crack and sigh I as stepped on them; like the very gates of Hell where threatening to spew open in a crusty and damp hole where I would be swallowed up and never see the light of day again. The building rumbled; a deep groan that coursed through you soul and terrified your inner being. I swore to myself that the person who ever made me think this way was laughing at me.<p>

* * *

><p>"<em>It's ok Charlie," my mother whispered, sending a pleasurable shiver down my spine. "Cousin Ed will take good care of you."<em>

_I shook my head back and forth, fat heavy tears spilled down my cheeks. "No mama." I pleaded, clasping my hands together around her legs. " He scares me, can't I just stay with you."_

"_No, go with Ed I will see you at 3 Clock in the waiting room." She looked off into space, staring at the empty hospital bed. "I have got to look after some things for your grandma."_

"_Charlie!"_

_I shimmied around her legs, peaking out from behind her at my 14-year-old cousin. _

"_Oh come, on I have some things to show you. It'll be fun!" he reached his left hand out towards me. _

_I hesitantly reached for it, and then with a groan grabbed it, the callused strong hand on mine-felt weird, nothing like the firm but gentle hand of my mother. _

_Cousin Ed dragged me cruelly down the foyer, I caught site of my mother's back moving swiftly down the hall before I was shoved roughly into the cremation room and the heavy door slam behind me._

"_Now don't worry about all the dead bodies in their little Charlie. Their lost souls are already deep inside the walls." He snickered, his voice drifting into the room behind the closed door. _

_I stood there. Frozen. The heat generated from the huge oven wouldn't thaw me. I stood there. Not breathing. My hands were shaking so hard. Tears ran down my face. The room was dark except for the dim orange glow coming from the cremator. _

"_Hear that?" Ed questioned. His voice drifting like a breeze through the doors. "It's the screams of the dead. Far below this very room is the pit of hell. All the bodies in here are sent down there. Be careful Charlie. One little move and the gates will split, right down the middle; you will fall and spend the rest of eternity in the damp pit. Everyday for the rest of your life tiny flesh-eating bugs will rip chucks out of your skin slowly so it will hurt the most. Then every day the skin will grow back. The heat from hell will give you a burn so badly your eyes and skin will melt off. Then it will get so cold your body will freeze and you won't be able to move for months, only tiny sharp breaths are allowed. Explosions happen all around you, if you make one wrong move you will be blown to pieces, if that happens, which it will, the devil himself will take a needle and stitch every piece of you back together. Spiders and beetles bigger than dogs spit a green colored paste at you, it hurts so bad, even blinking or breathing will hurt as much as an elephant stepping on you, pounding you further and further into the ground. And maybe the worst part is, you never get used to it. It hurts as much as the first time even after the millionth time. Watch out Charlie. One little move."_

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><p>I hated the hospital.<p>

But, hospitals are not a place you can avoid when you have a daughter like Bella. _Hell, _I could I navigate these halls with my eyes closed, backwards. I knew most of these people by name and I at least know their husband and kids names too.

Small towns have their advantages, but with about 1000 people in the sleepy town of Forks, it was impossible to know everyone, but sometimes I felt like I did.

I smiled as I passed a chic brunette nurse with a pretty gentle face in bright blue scrubs with kittens plastered crookedly across it. _Let's see. Leah Tanner. Husband Hennery Tanner. Husband divorced her, and then was killed in a boating accident about 5 years ago. A girl named Bree, who was three years behind Bella, ran away from home, never found. _Yes. That's right, I remember the police file.

I walked down the hall, my heavy hiker boats, creating a hollow clap against the marble floors. I numbly peered into passing rooms, searching my mind for tidbits of information about the people in them. I was _trying _to keep my mind off Bella and our painful conversation-singing annoying 80's music in my head when a waft of our conversation replayed in my mind.

"_But you love him."_

"_Not like that."_

I shook my head from side to side, desperately trying to confuse the memory enough so it wouldn't keep coming back.

"_But you love him."_

"_Not like-" _

_Cause this is thriller, thriller night. _

_There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes, girl_

_Thriller, thriller night_

_You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight! _I screamed in my head.

People were staring at me funny. _Was I singing out loud?_ I clamped my mouth shut into a straight line, my eyes watered, as I tried not to breath to draw attention to myself. Still people stared. Little children giggled to themselves as they stared at me with open eyes, while their parents hustled them along curious looks playing across their grim looking faces.

I shoved my hands into my deep jean pockets, circling my fingers across my black leather wallet. I tried to keep my emotions at check. But, sadly my emotions are even harder to control then Bella's are and that's saying something. I couldn't help the bright cherry colored blush spreading across my nearly albino coloring of my skin. The blush always looked 10x worse then it would for any other person.

I nearly apologized, every day for the dreadful skin color that I shamefully passed on to Bella. I knew how difficult it was sometimes. Now not only did I have to keep the blush hidden, but my thoughts from myself as well. I couldn't bear to think about the dreadful conversation I had with Bella.

"Charlie!"

I looked up at the sound of my name. I tore my gaze away from the marbled floors and into the eyes of a pretty brunette about my age. _Tanya Hart. Bradley Hart, 12-year-old son, was in the same room as Bella suffering from seizure the last time Bella was here. Tanya and I bonded when they were both sleeping. _"Hi Tanya." I spook politely, I really just wanted to bolt, but the friendly expectant look plastered on her face would have made me feel guilty to see it turn 180 . The least I could do was waste a few minutes talking to her.

Her smile drooped.

_Damn it!_ What did I do now? I kept walking returning my gaze to the marbled floors. I walked quickly; I don't want anyone else miserable because of me.

"Charlie wait!" She shouted after me. I hadn't even realized I was running away from her. The clack of her heels grew into a steady beat, as she got closer. The beat reminded me of Bella's Electrocardiogram. The steady beat would occasionally run faster as Tanya tried to catch up to me. I was glad she never stopped that would be too painful to compare to Bella's near death experience. I slowed to a fast jog, I still really didn't want to talk and I hoped she would get the hint.

No such luck.

"Charlie. Here again?" She asked once she was walking swiftly by my side. Her ragged breath made me slow down to walk.

"Yes," I replied automatically.

She looked down. Her face scrunched up as she examined her shoes heartily. She was obviously expecting an explanation that I wasn't going to give her.

The silence was deafening. I usually didn't mind silence. Neither Bella nor me were real talkers, so the silence was expected and normal. But remembering back to the time we shared while our kids were sleeping, Tanya hadn't shut up for nearly an hour.

I breathed deeply. The disgusting air got caught in my throat nearly making me choke. "It's Bella."

She perked up. Her eyes shifting to meet mine, the lingering gaze made me look down. "What happened."

That was the question I was dreading. I wasn't happy with what Jake told me. There were gaps, big gaps, gaps that a normal police officer would dig for, search for, uncover every possible explanation until he found the missing piece that fit. But I didn't want to believe there were any gaps. The story made sense; it was something Bella would do. If I weren't able to see the gaps, I would believe it. But I could see the gaps as clear as a cloud free day.

* * *

><p>"<em>I found her Charlie." His voice was breathy, like he was out of air. <em>

_I remember dropping the phone, not even bothering to hang up. I ran to the car in what felt like years, but was only about 6 seconds. My heart was picking up speed; it felt like it would burst. My body took over, my hands doing the work, as I drove like a maniac towards the reservation. People flipped me the finger, leaned on their horns, yelled out there windows, it was the most action sleepy little Forks had ever experienced and they were milking it for all it was worth. I ran out of the car, when I arrived, the car still moving. Jake appeared out of nowhere and dove into the police cruiser, putting it in park before it would slam into the house. _

_I fell into the house, tripping over the rug and landing in a heap on the floor. My knees ached and screamed at me to get up, but I crawled further. Billy appeared around the hall, a horror stricken look on his paling skin. "She's not here. Jake dropped her off at the hospital. "_

_I hadn't expected her to be here. I had hoped she was, but she was gone way to long to be in perfect condition._

_I remember just collapsing on the floor. I had never cried in front of people before. I never cried, barely ever. It was part of the job; I couldn't let my emotions take over. I didn't cry when my parent's died, not when Bella was born, not even when Renee left me. It just wasn't who I was. But I did then. I hit my head against the floor in agony, a million emotions flitting through me body, only staying long enough for me to feel pain. _

_I felt strong warm hands on my back, pulling me forward. I don't know how I made it to the couch. I am pretty sure I just collapsed against Jake, not even bothering to care he was just a kid and I was the adult. He led me to the couch, he was taller than I remembered; I hadn't seen him since the Bonfire before Jake ditched Bella at the movie theater. His hair was cropped short, the wispy strands clinging to his stern face, nothing like the soft boyish features I used to know. He looked like a man, a man whom seen way too much, his eyes dull brown pools, the eyes of an old man. His muscles were taut and sculpted, the kid had always had a great body, but now as he wasn't wearing a shirt I noticed he was ripped. And his hands were warm, abnormally warm. He was now the kind of guy girls through themselves at just so he would look at them. _

"_Wh-wh happened?" I stuttered my voice not obeying me. I cleared my voice and tried again, "What happened Jake?"_

_The muscles in his jaw worked. Clearly choosing his words carefully before speaking. "She got in an accident." His voce was husky and deep. He stared at me. His eyes melting a tad with sympathy, for just a second he actually looked 16, but he caught himself and the tough mask returned. _

_I was calming down, my voice returning with strength. I was done crying, I let the police officer take over, "Details please Jake."_

_He sighed deeply and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him glance momentarily at Billy who nodded firmly, his fingers clasping and unclasping. Jake spread his knees apart and bowed his head. "I don't know everything." He mumbled. He lifted his head, keeping his back arched and glared at me. _

"_Tell me what you know." I was getting impatient. I just wanted answers. _

_He breathed deeply, "I found her," He swallowed, shaking his head at the mental image. " Truck… it was badly beat up. I went looking for her… in the woods." He glanced at Billy so quickly my mind could barely register the movement. "She was curled up in a ball, blood pouring from her. Her head, legs, arms and ribs were in real bad condition. I didn't want to move her, but I knew it wouldn't do any good to just leave her there so I carried her to Forks hospital. I called you from the hospital." He looked guilty, nervous too. He was fidgeting and playing with his hands, glancing at Billy and looking at me from under his lashes. He looked like he just committed a crime. The police training in me took over._

"_Where did you find her Jake?" My voice was stern, but kind in a fatherly kind of way. Which wasn't really far off the mark, Jake was like a son to me. But Bella was my daughter and she came first. No matter what._

_He looked surprised, his face glowing with nervousness, but he quickly composed it into a grim looking mask, "La Push road?" the reply came out sounding like a question. _

"_I see." It didn't make any sense how could he carry her over 15 miles. I decided to ask him. _

_He looked shocked. A bead of sweat formed above his brow. "I-I well she was light and I'm strong, it wasn't too difficult."_

_"Why didn't you take her truck." _

_"It was too badly wrecked."_

_"What happened to her truck Jake?"_

_"I-think-I thi- a tree fell on it or something. I dunno. I wasn't there. I brought it to the house after I left the hospital." He looked at me again with his head bowed and between his knees. He looked scared, the images he seen clearing haunting him._

_"Show me the truck Jacob."_

_He led me through the house. His astonishing 6 4' stature towering over me. He bowed his head again, moving stealthily through the small house. He had to duck under a few doorways. _

_The garage reeked of motor oil and gas, the smell overwhelming my nose. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jake fan his hand in front of his face, I guess being around cars everyday didn't curb the stink anymore then a normal person. _

_Snow was blowing into the garage, as the door was open. Even for March it was still ice cold. But the garage was warm. The heat radiating from an unknown source warmed the room with an intensity that made the cold leave my body in a panicked rush. It was coming from near where Jake stood. He was leaning against his workbench. He wasn't wearing a shirt as usual; he never did care about the cold. A radiator; made sense, wouldn't want the engines he was working with to freeze up. The garage was small, I had only been in there a hand full of times, usually to just call Jake in for supper, if I came over for supper. The truck sat in the middle, snow creating a drift around it. The truck was covered with a heavy tarp. _

_Jake motioned me to take it off. A little flick of his hand I understood and the glare that made it even clearer. He wasn't as happy a kid as I remember. I lifted the heavy material with a groan. It was heavy. I managed to slide it off where it landed with a thud on the concrete, with absolutely no help from Jake only menacing glares. Kids. _

_I gasped when I saw the truck. It didn't look like a tree fell on it, it looked like the tree batted it around a bit like it was the baseball bat in a game and unfortunately for the pickup, it was the ball. The windows were smashed and hanging from their frames, the hood and roof were potholed with cracks and pits. The roof was nearly hanging in the front seats. The grill was smashed and broken like an accordion and the bed, didn't even look like a bed anymore. The paint was scratched and chipped like someone took a screwdriver and raked it across. The doors had massive holes gouged into them. The tires and rims were slashed and in pieces. It didn't even look like a truck anymore. _

_I wheeled around and stared at Jake the intensity of my glare searing a hole through him. I noticed him steel and step away from me. His hands coming up in defense as I stepped towards him. My fingers brushed against the ready gun still waiting in its holster. I spoke with such rage the walls of the garage seemed to quake in fear. "What did you say happened to the truck?"_

_After Billy persuaded me to put away the gun and step aside from his son I calmed down. _

_I wasn't sure why I blamed Jake for whatever happened to the truck. But there was no way in hell that the truck got that totaled by a tree falling and hitting the truck. I guess I decided to blame the one person who told me the story. _

_Jake had sprinted out of there real quick. His arms were quaking the muscles under his skin seemed to be jumping out of his skin. I wasn't sure if I scared the kid or terrified him. _

_Billy managed to calm me down. Switching on the baseball game that I had missed since Bella was gone. _

_Billy told me that he was sure the Cullen family had done this. His voice quaked with fury and he spit the words whenever he said the name. _

_"It was them Charlie! I told you to never let the _Cullen's _around Bella." His eyes looked distant like they were seeing something that I couldn't._

_"Billy." I spoke calmly, I was now the one doing the consoling, "They left months ago, why would they come back now."_

_"They don't need a reason, they will come back! They always do!"_

_"Why would they smash Bella's truck?"_

_His face softened. His eyes no longer cold and distant. "I don't know Charlie, but Jake told me what they did to Bella, left her broken and alone in the forest. How do you know they wouldn't do it again? They used her Charlie! That _Edward_ boy," he sneered his name, "Used her for his own filthy pleasure. He never loved her, he loved her body he-"_

"_Ok," I waved my hand, suddenly feeling sick. "Bella wouldn't do that. I trust her. She would never speak so highly of him."_

_Billy gave a disgusted look in my direction, "Even if he didn't I don't trust him and neither should you. But Jake. He loves her! Ever since he was little." His eyes lit up. "That boy would do anything for her. Anything! The Cullen boy left her in the woods, but Jake tried to fix her. She means everything to him."_

_"Really? Then why did he leave her at the movies, heartbroken and miserable? That sounds an awful lot like what the Cullen boy did to her." My voice was rising._

_"Don't compare Jake to the Cullen brat. She never spoke to him. Never returned his calls. I don't know what she did to him at the movies but he came back here so distraught he was sick! Do you know what's like playing with a toy that won't play? Fixing something that breaks right after? You get tired. You move on. That's what Jake did. He stopped calling. He stopped telling himself he cares. I hear him at night. Sobbing and calling Bella's name. He misses her, but it hurts him too much to be rejected over and over again. He's nothing like the kid he used to be, you can see that. He's miserable all the time, barely talks at all, all because that stupid Cullen broke Bella into a million pieces. He still loves her, he's just waiting for her to figure that out herself. She would be so much better with Jake. The old Bella and Jake, the HAPPY Bella and Jake."_

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><p>Billy's words had nearly killed me. I wanted the old Bella back, I needed her. I had talked to her just a few minutes ago, telling her pretty much exactly what Billy told me, but Billy was right she was still so broken.<p>

"Charlie what happened to your eyes?" Tanya Hart gasped, as her cold fingers tugged on my chin pulling my face towards her stopping me in my tracks.

I had forgotten she was there. I just stared at her and mumbled a quick 'I don't know' and continued walking. But her icy grip found my arm this time. I steeled around ready to give her a tongue-lashing and convince her to let go and leave me on my way. But her chocolate brown eyes were mixed with concern and pity. I shrugged. Letting my shoulders fall so quickly I was sure my arms would fall of.

"They're-they're purple!" She gasped.

I sighed I hadn't been getting much sleep, well any sleep for months. Bella checked into the hospital in the winter and it was the beginning of my spring now, June 8th and she had just woken up now. Another hole. Too badly hurt for a tree truck smashing up her car. "No sleep." I could see the door, calling to me like a unreachable beacon. I looked at it longingly.

She let go of my arm and mumbled what sounded like a goodbye, I returned it and sped out of the disgusting hospital doors. Wiping my chin with the back of my sleeve. I didn't look back.

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><p><strong><em>What only takes a few seconds of your day but makes my whole week great? Thats right if you just click on that box marked Review, type a few words (letters will do fine too :) and click submit. Yup REVIEW! Read the perks above if you have't! Thanks in advance! <em>**


	6. Familiar Golden Eyes

**_Hey People! You did it! 6 reviews! Sorry it took so long to upload this ch. (writers block gotta hate it:( ) But i had finals and holidays all sorts of stuff, but it's summer now and i am done everything right now so chapters, shouldn't take to long anymore. So yahh for you people who wanted more, i am not done uploading... yet. Gonna need 7 now... R&R (R&R my other story too!)_**

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><p>6. Familiar Golden Eyes<p>

_**Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking  
>When you fall everyone sins<br>Another day and you've had your fill of sinking  
>With the life held in your<br>Hands are shaking cold  
>These hands are meant to hold<strong>_

_-All American Rejects; Move Along_

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><p><strong><em>Bella's POV<em>**

The white itchy polyester fabric of the hospital gown ballooned around me like a puffy little girls pageant dress as I tumbled to the ground. The fabric clung to my damp body as I landed in a filthy puddle. My feet burned and throbbed and my knees split open on the pinprick gravel. Trickles of blood oozed from the cracks, the colloid blood tracing a curvy waving line down my milky skin.

The beautiful creature turned and squeezed the bridge of its perfect perk nose; it's flawless skin, scrunching up as the creature looked at me menacingly.

It scowled, "No wonder Edward left you, you are a disaster on feet," she snarled.

Tears rushed to my eyes. That hurt. That hurt more, then if she just snapped my neck and drained my body of my precious blood. I choked them back; I didn't want to EVER cry for him again. No matter how much I wanted to go back, back to the times he embraced me tenderly, back to when he kissed my cheek, back to when his flawless voice sent shivers down my spine and when he whispered in my ear that he would love me forever. Who knew forever was such a short amount of time? I shuddered at the memory of his decadently smooth voice, smoother than any piece of Swiss chocolate. "What are you doing here Rosalie?" My voice sounded stronger than I felt.

She tried not to laugh at my tone, her musical like laugh catching in her throat before it bubbled out. She composed her self quickly. "Someone wanted me to check on you. I said no, but of course my car has to get dragged into this." She glared at me, "I said yes, of course, what other choice did I have?"

My heart soared, beating in a frenzied panic. "Edward?" I asked letting the smile take over my face.

She examined her hand, picking at the corner of the blood red color. She scoffed as a piece of the polish chipped and fell of. I looked at the red chip, bile rising in my throat at the memory. "Edward? HA! Oh no, Alice. She had a vision you were in the hospital. She knew if she came to look for you, you would start balling and beg her to stay, when she tried to get away. Why not send the one you don't care about right?"

I blinked back tears. Rosalie kept talking, her pointy stiletto heels catching in the mud as she paced.

"I went to your room of course, that's where most patients should be right? But no, you Bella Swan have to be the trouble patient and wander off. Lucky for you," She narrowed her eyes in my direction, "I could smell you from inside. So here I am. How much energy to have to waist on you? Do you know how hard it is being in a hospital? The stench of blood is overwhelming!"

"So-so-sorry, I didn't-"

"Oh of course you didn't Bella," She interrupted me, hate burning a hole through my body with her fiery glare, "You never do!" She clenched her hands together, her skin turning even whiter, her body swaying and shaking, "You are a perfect angel. You never mean any harm, yet somehow you always do! I hate you Bella Swan, so fricken much! I wish I could have just drained your body the second I seen you in the café and let your lifeless body drop at Edward's feet."

I just stared at her. I was pretty sure I had just forgotten to breath. "I am so sorry," I managed to whisper.

She laughed. Her bell like laugh twinkling through the air. "Just kidding Bella," her features softened instantly, "Blame Emmett, he thought it would be funny to scare you. Although you didn't really look scared just like you were about to die. Which really wouldn't be all that great. I'd have some real explaining to do with Carlisle."

I just stared.

"It's ok Bella, I don't hate you that much." She attempted to smile, but her lips pulled over her teeth in what looked like a grimace.

"So, the part where Alice told you to come check on me was true then?" I managed in only a slightly unsteady voice.

"Yes, that part is true."

My heart sank, "So Edward really doesn't care about me, what he said was true?"

Rosalie's stunning face sank so quickly, it looked like her face had melted. "Well… yeah it is. I'm sorry."

I lowered my head, letting it sink to the ground like a fallen soldier, which really was what I was. I had tried to win the battle of Edward's love, I had thought I won, but he just turned around and shot me in the back, left me to die in my own self loathing, forever alone not understanding what to do in a losing war, with myself this time. I had tried to convince myself, through those months that he had left, that he would be back, but the reality had finally sunk in that I was dead. "He doesn't want me." I whispered to myself, tears tugging at the corner of my eyes.

"No, he doesn't. I really am sorry." She continued to pick at the blood red color of her nails. She sighed, a musical sound that rang through my ears. "If it makes you feel better, I really wanted to come see you."

I struggled for words. What was I supposed to say to that? I sighed giving up on my own voice and settled for nodding. I focused instead on the stiff blades of itchy grass clinging to my damp skin.

She beamed, even though I couldn't see her through the curtain of hair draped over my face, I knew she was smiling. I lifted my head and sure enough a sunny motherly grin rained down on me. "I wanted to talk to you. I thought that now, since your future isn't." She struggled for a word, "Doomed to a living hell, I could really talk to you without a barrier between us. This may seem mean, because I know how devastated you were, but I really was happy when Edward announced that we were leaving and you…weren't."

I made a noise that sounded like a gurgle. I really wasn't expecting that.

She rubbed my back in soothing cold circles. Her touch sent shivers down my spin, in comfortable waves, that no one had been able to give me since Edward left. "I never wanted you to become one of us. It isn't as great as it may seem to you Bella. It angered me, you were giving away everything that I ever wanted, and I was angry, jealous really, that you had something that money couldn't give me. And for you to just… give it up I couldn't stand it. I hated you for it." Her voice raised and dropped in pitch. She rubbed underneath her eyes and looked at her dry fingertips, "See Bella." She pushed her hands into my face, "Something as simple as crying, you wanted to give up. Do you know how hard it is when you can't even process a simple emotion such as sadness, without crying? I hate everything about this life. I don't want this. I would switch places with you in a heartbeat… expression." She clarified. "But even I, can't be that selfish. I don't hate Carlisle for giving me this. I at least get a little of what I always wanted. But for you to just give everything up, for something so small as love." She shook her head and dry sobbed.

I didn't know what to do; I just sat there, picking at the grass stuck to my knees. She had some points; I would have to give up children, my family, my friends but when it came down to the underlying truth. Edward was worth it. As selfish as it made me feel, seeing the crying beauty, wish for everything that I had, the future I could still posses, what I could still do, to me the positives outweighed the negatives, I still wanted everything that I was getting before Edward left me. Even if it would never come true anymore, I still hoped.

"Move on Bella. Find someone else. A real guy, a live one, a normal one. Edward wasn't as perfect as you thought he was. He was monster before, a killer, he wrecked lives. Why do you want him? He's no good for you. Move on, before you waste anymore of your precise life. He already has."

"He moved on…already?"

She nodded, her perfect blonde hair collapsing over her face, beautifully, prettier than any model walking down the runway. "Sorry, I wasn't supposed to tell you that. It will help you move on though, seeing as he already did."

"Who is it? A human?"

She nodded and pushed her fingers to her lips, signaling me to be quite. With her other pointy finger she pointed behind me, towards the closed hospital doors. "Someone's coming." She whispered and stood up.

I stood up too. "Quick tell me. Who is it?" I wasn't sure why I wanted to know. Chances were that I wouldn't even know them, but I could look them up on the Internet. It would make me feel better.

I began to get scared, my fingers twitching, my body sweating feverishly. When did I ever become so 'stalkerish'? Why did my whole personality, self-reasoning get thrown out the window the minute Edward said goodbye? I calmed almost instantly. Because without Edward I wasn't Isabella Marie Swan, I was a shell, a shell of my former self. I don't care what I become without Edward; I am nothing without him anyway, why not throw away another piece of myself, what I believe in, the right of other's privacy. But I am not myself, never will be again. Not without Edward. I don't care I _have _to know, for my sanities sack. I pressed harder.

She opened her mouth, but before she could speak the doors behind me flew open. I whirled around to face the figure, blackened by the night sky and the bright unnatural light of the hospital florescent. The figure stepped from the concert like setting and onto the spongy ground. The figure became clearer; she was wearing ill-fitting blue pants with a matching ¾ length sleeve top, her hair was pulled back into a neat bun, glasses hung precariously on the tip of her petite nose. A nurse. "I knew I heard someone sneak through those doors. Darn things never get used, weird day when they do, I just had to check that out." She squinted leaving her glasses dangerously close to sailing over the bridge of her nose, "A patient too. I thought maybe it was a criminal, wouldn't be the first time, one of those pests snuck in here. After all what do they think this place is? What did they think they would find? Just a hospital with a bunch of ill patients, the only thing they could find here is death or sickness, is what I always say." The nurse leaned down and grabbed my chin, resting it in her firm course hand as she examined me. "Your name dear?"

I swallowed. I wasn't sure I should tell her. I felt like an 8 year old getting caught for running in the halls at lunchtime by an unfamiliar teacher. While my friends lied and told the teacher their fake names, I would cave and tell my real name. While my friends got off scotch free they would tell my teacher that I was bad and then I would get in trouble. I was a push over back then, maybe still am," Bella Swan," I still didn't have the guts to lie to anyone.

She tapped her glasses and frowned, "I heard about you, the coma patient, low chance of survival, unknown trauma. Good to see you up and about, but you can't be without supervision or the guidance of a guardian." She clasped my hand over mine and hoisted me up. "Come along dear."

"Wait," I swallowed the shaking feeling rising in my throat, "I have supervision my cou-cous-cousin is here with me."

She looked behind me and frowned. "I am sorry dear, but no one's here."

I frowned at her, a dull looking expression taking over my face, the kind of face that reinforced the idea that I was still mentally unstable and still recovering from some sort of life threatening trauma. The look was blank, I didn't understand. I turned slowly, expecting -I wasn't sure- to jump out and attack me. It wouldn't be the first time I experienced something I wasn't at all expecting. But instead I was greeted with a gust of arctic like air, no monster and definitely no Rosalie. The marks where her heels dug into the moist ground were still visible, though slowly becoming over taken as the brilliant neon green grass resumed their original upright position. But there was no sign of her. No golden hair shinning in the moonlight like a bundle of golden thread, no piercing bronze eyes, the color of the finest shiniest new coin, not her flawless milky white skin, not even her musical like voice, she was gone.

"Bella?" the nurse asked with a friendly grin on her face, exposing her slightly yellow teeth dotted with the blood red hue of her lipstick. She touched my arm, the touch filled with such love and understanding only a grandmother could give, and she reminded me of my grandmother. I never ignored her.

I nodded and followed her back into the stuffy cleaner smelling hospital. But before I passed through the heavy metal swinging doors a voice barely audible whispered in my ear. The voice was so quite and wind like that any other person would assume it was the wind, but I knew better. I heard that voice every night in my dreams; it haunted me it reminded me of all the painful memories, all of the fond memories, of saying goodbye. The velvet smooth voice sent chills down my already freezing spine, "Stay away from the wolves love, I don't and will not approve." Just as the voice appeared it was gone again, and the only thing I could hear was the frantic beat of my heart, and the far off cry of a wolf.


	7. Burning Hatred

**_Another Chapter! Although don't get your hopes up, it's not theat great :( But i needed something to conect to for the next Ch. which is an important and hopefully exciting one that explains some stuff ;) So this one is kind of useless... I just realized the other day, that i said James attacked Bella 8( but he was supposed to die... soooo instead of fixing that (which would be alot easier) let's just pretend James escaped before Edward killed him... I'll explain it eventually XD_**

**_Enjoy and R&R_**

7. Burning Hatred

_Tell the world i'm coming home_

_Let the pain wash away all the pain of yesterday_

_I know my kingdow awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes_

_I'm coming home, I'm coming home_

_Tell the world that I'm coming _

_-Coming Home, Dirty Money_

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><p><strong> BPOV <strong>

My heart still beat like the echo of a thousand drums simultaneously, hours possibly days later. I lost count of the minutes, hours even days that passed after I supposedly heard _his _voice. The days were a blur, completely consumed by my never-ending replay of his voice as they spoke those words, _"Stay away from the wolves love, I don't and will not approve." _It felt like his words had zapped my mind of all other thoughts, the only thing I could do and would do was replay the reminiscence over and over again, like a stuck tape recorder in my brain. Could it be true? Had he really spoken to me? My body and mind said yes, but the little still functioning rational side of my brain said it couldn't be true. After all these months, why return now, after his own sister informed me to move on. Why even bother?

Also it didn't make any sense. Stay away from the wolves? What could he mean? I had never even been around any wolves. Suddenly the full force of what he was saying hit me like a jackhammer in the temple. It left me fighting and kicking for air.

The meadow. After James attacked me, unnatural warmth, the long black mussel, and the russet fur, Jake finding me. Was Jake the wolf that Edward told me to stay away from?

I laughed out loud. Passer by's in the hallway peered into my little single bed hospital room, after they realized that a patient was laughing in the mental injuries section of the complex, they somehow managed a sincere looking smile, before leaving with a scared looking expression glued to their faces. Never mind me, I was just the crazy girl, who suffered unknown trauma, at least as far as the hospital knew. But maybe I was going crazy. No rational still functioning person thought that they're ex best friend was wolf. How Edward plants such ridiculous thoughts in my head, was beyond my understanding.

What did he do to me? I used to be semi normal, plain actually, but now I was some crazy person, who believed in mythical creatures and screamed their profanities at random people on the street. Before Edward I would be the one to give a sympathetic smile to those types of people, now I was on the receiving end, getting the sympathetic smiles after my sudden outbursts.

But a nagging thought pressed at the back of my brain. I never used to believe in vampires, but now, thanks to Edward I have learned the truth that they do exist. What other supernatural beings could exist in the world, without the knowledge of the vampire clans? Could it be, that every mythical creature known to man truly does exist and the human race has yet to discover these mythical genres? That maybe, Jake is some kind of half wolf, half person mix, like the scary stories about werewolf's that come out on a full moon and eat people? Maybe Edward wasn't the only monster I knew, but the whole Reservation were these scary mythical creatures that I read about in my books? If that's true do aliens exist, the gods from Greek legends, is everything we've ever read about exist in some far off land that nobody knows about, maybe Atlantis, or on some foreign planet?

I choked back a scream. I really was going crazy.

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><p><em>"These violent delights have violent ends. And in their triumph die, like fire and powder, Which as they kiss consume."<em>

My favorite lines, I clutched the playbook to my chest fingering the smooth paper back novel, and smelt the wonderful musty aroma that only comes to books with age.

How well, Shakespeare was able to detail my life. My Edward was Romeo, and I his lover Juliet. However, instead of Romeo dying, in my life he disappeared, leaving me all alone, in a woeful existence.

For me, there was no one to turn to, I never had, the man of wax Paris, I suppose you could assume Jacob was the perfect Paris, but he clearly didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I should have stabbed that dagger through my chest when I had the chance.

But that chance was gone, I couldn't leave Charlie. I just couldn't. He felt like he lost a piece of the real me already, when Edward left, he didn't need to lose all of me. The least I could do for him was hold myself together long enough for him to assure I was still alive and well, even if I was dead inside.

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><p>Freedom. How sweet is the sound. I took a wobbly step toward the front door, nearly sending the bouquet of colorful germaniums that I clutched firmly in my weak hands, sailing to an unwelcome doom on the rocky pavement. Charlie steadied my arm, clutching it so forcefully; he knew I was about to break apart if he didn't clutch my arm so tightly like his life depended on it.<p>

With a polite grin and some reassuring words, he released his iron grip letting me battle the slippery ground on my own. The rain fell with the intensity of a shower, drenching me from head to toe. It felt like a welcome, welcoming back into the world of the living and free and out of the dead and trapped. I silently thanked the sky for its favor.

Charlie ran ahead, passing my short strides, with long ones and unlocked the door before I could waddle to the entrance. He held the door open and with a flick of his wrist gestured me inside. I guess I was standing there, in the pouring rain because I felt Charlie reach under my arms and lift me into the house.

I didn't feel welcome in the house anymore, it was his, the hospital room was mine. I had lived there for two more months, after I supposedly heard Edwards voice. On the little hospital bracelet pinned around my tiny wrist, in black shinny letters it held two words, _Mentally Unstable _and a few other things that would serve as a guide should Charlie or anyone else see my mental lapse come back_._ One of the instructions stated that the observer should immediately return the patient back to the hospital, for their own safety and of those around them. I made a mental note to appear normal around people at all times.

Apparently after, I heard Edward's voice I would sit in my room and stare at the blank T.V screen all day and wouldn't respond to any of their treatment. Everyone assumed it was because of my unknown trauma, that possibly it had in some way damaged my brain. Charlie denied such thoughts, and argued I was just bored of the hospital. I thanked him profusely.

Charlie laid me carefully on the couch and ran into the kitchen. I felt like a new puppy, in new quarters, carefully taking in their surroundings, looking for anything that reminded them of home. The worn leather chair in front of the T.V, the comfy old throw, strewn haphazardly over the couch where I lay, the vase with cheerful marigolds bent and leaning over their pot spilling their dried golden leaves onto the plush carpet, the tangy fresh aroma of stale pizza and lemon cleaner, yes this was home.

I eased into the couch and threw the throw across my fragile body. I had lost quite a bit of weight since I was last here and the heavy blanket felt like it would eat me if I made any sudden movements.

Charlie returned at that moment to see me struggling under the blanket, flailing like a fish as if I was caught in a fisherman's line. The world suddenly went dark. The sound of glass mugs slammed down hard into the wood coffee table near my feat.

"Bella what are you doing?" Charlie chuckled but it was a scared laugh, it sounded more like a wheeze.

Light flooded my vision as Charlie removed the blanket from of my face. I blinked back surprise; I hadn't realized I had thrown it over my face.

Charlie, laughed at my expression, a real one, "Bella, I know… being back in the….house is…different…but you got to actually look first."

I smiled and mumbled something unintelligible, even to myself. Charlie looked at me confused then left the room, looking a little dazed. He returned with a stuffed purple bunny, with one eye and a shredded left ear. He handed it to me along with a steaming cup of hot chocolate. The bunny from when I was six, I guess my subconscious needed it. When I was little and returned from trips similar to this one, I used to carry it everywhere, I stopped using it years ago, almost 10. I grabbed the mug and bunny gratefully and took a long gulp and snuggled in with the bunny stroking it's soft fur and breathing in the stuffy old smell of it.

Charlie sighed and relaxed, it was the first time I actually really looked at him and gasped when I did. His face, looked shrunken and even more pale then usual, not the whiteness of vampires skin, but ghostly colorless, his eyes, framed with heavy purple rings looked unrecognizable, so filled with sadness and loss, his clothes hung baggily, draped over his figure, he obviously lost a lot of weight. The sight of my father so fragile and sickly scared me to oblivion. I opened my mouth to speak, but the doorbell spoke for me.

Charlie sighed and looked down at his wrist where a metallic blue colored watch wrapped loosely around it. "They're early." He grumbled. He gave me a flash of what looked like a sympathetic gaze and made haste to the front door.

From where I was sitting, I couldn't see who was at the door, when Charlie pulled it open. He gave a curt nod to the visitor and gestured to me.

I looked down at my hands, carefully focusing on the lines and shape of my hand. A faint blush spread across my already slightly flushed cheeks. I hadn't been expecting visitors. I ran my fingers through my knotted hair, desperately trying to make it look presentable. I was still in my tight almost see through, because of the rain, white flannel pajamas, I pulled the heavy throw higher, trying to hide myself from the elusive guest. I hid the bunny under the blanket as well, and waited patiently for the visitor.

The sound of a wheel chair's roll filled the small house, the grunt of person obviously uncomfortable as they were deposited onto the tiled floor of the kitchen. Billy. I hadn't really been expecting him, maybe one of my friends or neighbors, but definitely not Billy. I hadn't spoke or seen him since I had last talked to him on the phone, pleading him to let me talk to Jake. It hadn't gone well, and I wasn't sure what he thought of me after that.

Those thoughts were immediately erased from my mind as Billy rolled through the archway into the living room. "Bella! So good to see you alive and well." He gave me a giant grin and a firm pat on the back.

"You too," I whispered back. Returning my eyes back to my hands.

He smiled a sunny grin. "Oh, Jake has been so worried about you. Jake! Get in here!"

My eyes shot up to stare Billy. Jake was here and worried about me? I repeated it out loud.

Billy nodded, a slightly confused look on his face, before turning around and yelling at the front door. "Jake, get in here right now! Come say hi to Bella!"

I blushed again. Jake clearly didn't want to see me. I didn't want Jake to be anymore angry at me then he already was. Apparently finding me in the forest, as a human, (I had officially convinced myself that I was being ridiculous for thinking Jacob was a werewolf) did nothing for easing the tension of our strained friendship. "Billy, it's fine, he doesn't have to see me if he doesn't want too." I whispered, I could barely hear even myself.

But apparently Billy could because he gave me a horrified expression. "Listen to her Dad, I don't want to see her." I gruff husky voice answered back. It took me a moment to realize the voice belonged to Jake. My heart felt like it was about to break into a million pieces. The giant hole Edward had made when he left buckled under the pressure of Jacob's harsh words. My heart rate increased, my breathing became shallow and fresh tears filled my eyes. With Charlie so dramatically different and Jake not even wanting to see me, I had nobody, I was nobody without Jake. I felt like I could scream and yell at him, but I couldn't, I was going to die. I couldn't live without Jake, it was living without sunshine, and you never realize how badly you miss it until it's under the clouds. Jake had been my sunshine, now the only thing I felt was darkness and emptiness. I clamped my lips together, but a faint scream slipped through. I was hoping he would come see me anyway, that his sunny smile would warm the coldest areas of my heart, so I could feel normal again.

Billy stared at me, an unfamiliar emotion flickered on his face, as I tried to rein myself in. Only after had he spoke that I realized the emotion was anger. I had never seen Billy angry, not like this. He spoke with such authority and anger, I swear I heard the windows shake, _"Jacob Black get in this room and say hi to Bella! Sam Uley can wait 10 fucking minutes!" _

"_If I get shit I'm blaming you! I don't have time to see fucking Bella fucking Swan! _I never heard Jacob swear before. I cried freely now, Jake, my best friend, was gone.

He walked in the room. I couldn't recognize him. He was shirtless, the massive muscles of his abs and chest, bulging. Actually he was all muscle, the muscles appeared rock hard and so very strong. His face no longer had the soft boyish features I knew, but the hard, I've seen to much, angular look of a grown man. He was at least 6'10, pushing 7 feet. He looked old, not 16 but at least 20. I did not recognize him. I stared at his eyes, coal black, so hard and angry, holding every raw emotion you could think of. They scared me, they weren't friendly, they were angry. He glared at his father, the hatred radiating from him like a furnace, and the body heat he gave off as well. He was dripping wet, and the smell of the forest and something else, musty and unfamiliar coated him like a tough impenetrable shield. The way he carried himself, with purpose, so agile and quiet I wouldn't know he was there if I wasn't looking at him. I continued to stare, desperately searching for the old boy I knew, but saw nothing. He wouldn't even look at me, his eyes were trained on his father's like they were sharing some unspoken language.

He dropped his head and Billy nodded. He sprang back up, hatred still burning, he was shaking slightly, a barely noticeable shake, he clutched and unclenched his hands. He sighed a deep long feral sound and his coal black eyes clicked to mine.

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><p><strong><em>Next Chapter JPOV! Might take awhile to write gonna be a long one XD<em>**


	8. Lost and Found

**_Another Chapter! Shorter then normal but it's going to be like a 3 part thing of my story so far through Jake's POV. It will help the story flow more easily then i can continue. _**

**_Things to Know:_**

**_1. Starts from when James was in the meadow with Bella. _**

**_2. Jacob's POV  
><em>**

**_3. He's already phased and everything this isn't his first time._**

**_4. Leah and Seth and the rest of the pack (excpept Collin and Brady) have pahsed already. _**

**_5. That means Harry already died to and Charlie went to his funeral, while Bella was in the hosptial._**

**_6. This story has swearing in it. Sorry about that, but it is important for characterization, especially for certain characters XD_**

8. Lost and Found

_Just because i'm losing_

_Doesn't mean I'm lost_

_Doesn't mean I'll stop_

_Doesn't mean I'm across_

_Just Because I'm hurting_

_Doesn't mean I'm hurt_

_Doesn't mean I didn't get what i deserved_

_No better and no worse _

_-Lost; Coldplay_

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><p>A sickly sweet scent, the smell of burnt cotton candy but a thousand times worse, assaulted my delicate senses. That scent was like a trigger to me, my body reacted as soon as the scent tickled my nostrils. I growled, the sound, so wild and feral that it was hard to realize it came from my own mouth, it belonged to a starving animal, eager to quench it's hunger. But, I wasn't hungry, it was a call to the undead, that I was coming.<p>

My hunches raised and I shot forward, the small still human side of me, cowered in the small corner of my brain, I let the animal take over, bursting through the trees with such agility and strength, and I was unbelievably quiet, My feet padded on the ground, making soft thuds that even my highly acute ears could barely pick up.

The feeling was exhilarating. Rushing through the trees and densely packed shrubs, the wind howling and screaming in my ears, the rush it brought, the feeling of happiness it gave me even when my world felt as if it would fall apart. The wind dove into my skin and into my thick coat. It spun around in the hair weaving and untangling the many knots and mats until they were free and flying in wisps behind me.

Suddenly the scent was not as strong as before. I skidded to a halt and looked to my mind for directions. The memories and thoughts even sights of my brothers and of course sister flew through my brain in a tangled mess. I weaved through them searching for anything to guide me. I could only pick one of the packs thoughts and they were in fact directed at me.

"What the hell are you doing? Stop sitting like an idiot and move your fat ass, to the meadow! If it's because of Bella get your head out of your butt and come on!"

I sighed internally. But didn't make an effort to move, "Where are you Leah?"

"Weren't you listening? Of course you weren't, every male on this fucking earth doesn't listen to me!" Her mind drifted to thoughts of Sam. Her pounding on the door, tears streaming down her face, while she chanted a never-ending melody of Sam, Sam, Sam. She quickly covered the memory with anger and kept on screaming. "In the meadow, you idiot. If this is about Bella, you better get your fat ass over here, how are you going to protect her from all the way over there you _little fucking ass-_" She screamed some more profanities before she calmed down enough to think rational thoughts.

"What do you mean, is this about Bella? Of course it isn't."

She scoffed. "_What do you mean, is this about Bella? Of course it isn't" _She said, mimicking my tone, "Of course it is you bastard. She's in the meadow with that fucking leach. She looks dead but see for yourself." She flashed me a picture of the meadow, the flowers dead and matted to the ground. The trees framing the area in a wide circle. But I didn't pay attention to the meadow, but who was in it. On the far left side as close to the trees as possible lay a figure, sprawled in a heap on the ground. A fan of brown hair lay stuck to her skull, slick with blood, her limbs were lying in positions that should not be possible and a blonde headed leech stood over her crushing the limbs of the poor girl. The head of the vampire snapped towards, through the eyes I would assume was Sam leaving the poor girl's body to fall roughly to the ground. He charged toward Sam, giving a perfect picture of the girl. Her milky skin, her full pink lips, her closed doe like eyes. Bella.

The wind was no longer calming; it ravaged me with painful stinging bites to the eyes. It howled even louder blocking out the thoughts and voices of the other pack members. I was running so fast, the passing trees and plants looking like a wall of green. I dodged and barreled around trees not once making contact with anything besides the ground beneath me.

I didn't care that I promised myself I would never see or talk to her again, she needed me right now and I wasn't going to disappoint.

I could smell her. The sweet strawberry scent of her, sweet but not sickly sweet, perfect. I ran faster, the ground blurring under me as I pushed harder through the dense trees.

I broke through the opaque trees, the meadow. I slammed on my brakes, my head lurching forward under the sudden stop. She was there, crumpled on her side, her fragile looking head turned away from me. I proceeded with caution, the meadow was eerily quiet, Bella didn't make a sound, and there was no leach in sight. Her scent was stronger now, she smelt like a patch of fresh ripe strawberries waiting for the picking, but it was masked. Masked with a heavy coppery and salty smell, it surrounded her like an aurora. I suddenly became aware of a sound, it sounded like a flowing river. But there was no river nearby. Then it hit me, the smell coppery and salty the flowing of a river. Blood, Bella was bleeding, bad. I ran for her straining with all my might to get as close to her as quickly as possible.

Finally I stood over her. The smell of blood was strong now, overly strong. It overpowered my senses, making my knees quake with an emotion. Fear maybe. She was going to die, to much blood, too much. I shook my wolf head it felt weird. Even the simplest actions in human form were nearly impossible in wolf. It bothered me.

Bella's eyes flickered open nearly making contact with mine. I looked away quickly. I was not going to make eye contact for a fear of what may or may not happen. Sam thought it was weird, my fear of the imprint that is. But he didn't understand. It happened to him already with Leah, and look how that turned out. I didn't want to know if Bella was my imprint or not.

I don't even know what I want. Do I want to imprint on her and spend the rest of my life with her or do not want to and imprint on another girl and ditch Bella completely? I worked hard it never find out. Ignoring her longer then was necessary even when Sam said I could see her. Never making contact with another girl. Never talking to anyone even outside the pack, for fear of what might happen. I even didn't make eye contact with Leah for weeks. After a sailor style whip lashing, I finally looked her in the eye only for her to punch me in the face. She told me I was stupid for even thinking that we could be together. I was just being cautious. I didn't want anything to happen.

But Bella needed me. Imprint or not. She was going to die while I sat here contemplating whether or not I want to imprint on her when it's totally out of my control. I wanted control, I liked it and I was not going to find out how I deal with something out of my control.

I phased carefully slipping on my shorts so Bella wouldn't see anything if she were to wake up. How was I supposed to explain me being naked in front of her? I picked her up gently, being careful not to disturb her delicate broken bones. I carefully touched her leg expecting to find the hard bone only to be met with the sinking feeling of soft skin. I choked back a sob. I didn't cry, not when my mom was killed and not now, even if that disgusting filthy leach just shattered the bones of my lov- my best friend. I would have to get used to that.

I carried her swiftly through the trees, making careful tiptoe like movements to keep her fragile body stable. I ran and didn't stop till I came to the hospital.

The Forks Hospital was usually reserved for pregnant mothers or minor injury patients, not for someone who was on death's doorstep like Bella. But I didn't care. It was either drop her off here and let them deal with her or let her die while carrying her to Seattle to the severe injury clinic Bella usually went. I laughed at that thought. Even in a tense moment such as this one, it was still appropriate to laugh, at least I thought so. The beady death glares from the tear stained cheeks from the other waiters suggested the idea that they didn't agree. Were any of them 220 pound 7 foot tall werewolves? Didn't think so, I don' care what they think of me. I left the hospital and Bella in the safe clutches of the hospital staff, without looking back. It was the only thing I could do to prevent a breakdown into tears.


	9. Giving Up

_**So this Chapter took forever and it isn't very long…oh well! So i hope this chapter just fills in some blanks. Fyi, i haven't even got to the plot yet, so don't give up on it! Please? So yeah! **_

* * *

><p>9. Giving Up.<p>

_Hold my hand while you cut me down  
>It had only just begun but now it's over now<br>And your in the heat of moments with your heart playing up cold  
>I'm between the middle watching hastiness unfold<br>On my eyes your were smiling in the spotlight dancing with the night  
>The night<br>When I fell off your mind _

_- Tired; Adele _

**_JPVO _**

I ran the tips of my fingers over the hood of the truck; pieces of the scorched paint coming off in little flakes in my hands. I rubbed them in my palm. The roughness, the sharpness almost like a comfort to me. I'd touched this truck so many times. Memorized every dip and mark on its body, capturing it to my memory. But this wasn't how I remembered it. The last time I saw it, it looked like a vehicle. Now… not so much, it was destroyed.

I slammed my hand into what was left of the bed, the metal crunching under it. I pressed further. I enjoyed the prick of the sharp metal embedding in my skin. It felt like I was in control and that I controlled the fate of this car and not that fucking leech.

I sighed, "Sam what do we do?" It was a generic question.

"About the truck? Get rid of it," he traced over small pricks in the bed. Teeth marks. He shook his head, "What would the authorities think? More evidence, more clues…"

All my hard work was gone. I shook from anger and frustration. I put so much work into this truck and Bella loved it so much, "Fine, I'll take it away," and now it was gone. It's fate the local dump. I pushed on the rear of it. It creaked forward. A long groan that emitted from the truck, it seemed like it was begging me to save it.

Sam followed behind, picking up scraps of metal that fell off. He cleaned up the spot where we found the truck and placed leaves and branches on the skid marks and trenches that obviously came from the vampire himself, throwing himself onto the truck.

* * *

><p>Oil cast long dark puddles onto the concrete of the garage. I bent down to clean them up, but they didn't lift from the ground. Shadows, not oil. I ran my fingers through my slick hair, an effort to lift the strands of hair glued to my forehead. I was about to pass out, every step strained my muscles and pushed them to the max. I was so tired, so hot, and mentally exhausted. I wanted Bella; I needed her. The pain from the separation from her was nearly unbearable. I missed her terribly. Seeing her in the meadow near death and pushed me to the limits of self-control. This couldn't go on, for my sanity at least. I would make an effort to see her now, to look at her. To see if we truly were imprints and if we weren't…I'd get past it.<p>

I sat down and stretched my aching muscles. Old cars were heavy and the physical strain from it and carrying Bella for 2 hours had put a toll on me. I didn't think wolves could get tired, but boy was I wrong. It was so hot in the garage; heat still emitted from the truck from the scorched rubber from the tires. Dragging a truck for 5 miles on rough unpaved roads, would do that.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against my workbench. My eyelids dropped the skin covered my eyes and they shut. Sleep called to me. I thought about Bella, and I fell asleep instantly.

And then Charlie came.

* * *

><p><strong>So yeah! The next Chapter shouldn't take as long. I hope! Missy. <strong>


	10. Mine

_**Super Short Chapter I know, but I don't want to go on and on and on. You know? So this is all that is needed. Next will be Bella again. Yay! Soon we can get into the plot :D I'm excited are you? Anywho! Things to know!  
><strong>_

_**1. So last chapter was the fill in for before Charlie came. This chapter is completely a new chapter, the story is moving along!**_

_**2. Jacob's pov.**_

_**3. Now I wouldn't say that this chapter is suggestive, because it's not. But! Saying that, if you are older and know about guys..:D you should know what he is getting at. You can take it two ways so it's not a big deal. **_

_**So that's it! **_

10. Mine

_I say can you believe it?_

_As we're lying on the couch_

_The moment i can see it_

_Yes, yes, I can see it now_

_-Taylor Swift; Mine_

* * *

><p>Those eyes, the warmness of the brown; the coolness from the jet-black irises, were enchanting. They never once left mine for those few seconds, only seared into them. No mascara, no eyeliner; all natural. They were supple on their own, and not even makeup could enhance them. Purplish hues framed the eyes, which were surrounded by milk like skin. So white and clear it was. The cheeks were reddening. Wafts of the rose like color seeped into the smooth porcelain, like red food coloring being dispersed. Below was the straight nose, perfect in every single way and the mouth not far beneath it. Soft and lush were those lips. Her dainty hands were perched on the blanket, which folded over themselves nervously. I tried not to stare at her body, which would be weird would it not? But I did anyway. The ample curves accentuated by the tight black T-shirt were intoxicating; every dip of her body was perfect in unison with the others. A small line of flesh was visible from above her pant line…stop Jake stop. I wanted her…so, so bad: I needed her. Perfect. She was so perfect. I couldn't stop staring at her. I just wanted to spend time with her, talk to her and listen to the smoothness of her voice intoxicate me with every word. I returned my eyes to hers. The bright crimson colour had spilled its colour all over her face. She stared back at me, shock and surprise masked her features.<p>

Isabella Marie Swan, my love, my life. The girl I spent years fighting for, was right there, mine for the taking. She was mine. The words felt good to even think. I just wanted to take her away from here and show her how much I loved her, but I just…couldn't. I turned from her. The light wasn't so bright over here, and ran out the door to the familiarity of the forest.

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><p><em><strong>Short I know. Next Chapter will be up soon! -Missy <strong>_


	11. The Cry of a Wolf

_**NEW CHAPTER! :D R&R!**_

11. The Cry Of a Wolf

_Maybe I?m a different breed_  
><em>Maybe I?m not listening<em>  
><em>Blame it on my ADD baby<em>

-Sail; Awolnation

_J_ake. The name used to be so familiar. But now…I didn't even know who he was anymore. He was so different. He looked different, he smiled different, his whole aurora was different; he even smelled different.

I sat in my room, (Charlie had carried me to my bed) and contemplated my first meeting with him in months. He used to jump at the chance to see me. He was always so happy when he did. The smile on his face practically glowed, but today he was angry to see me. He didn't want to see me, you could tell in his face. The hardness, the hatred even; his jaw was clenched and his eyes impenetrable voids.

Tears ran over my cheeks and splashed onto the little book I held in my hands. I stroked his little face, over the full cheeks that held that sunny grin, over the tanned and toned little arms that were wrapped around the little girl who stared up at him. They were so happy, so carefree that they didn't even notice anyone was taking the picture in the first place.

There was an unfamiliar ache in my chest when I thought of Jacob. It was nothing like I had ever felt before; it was different from the ache when I thought of Ed-him. With Edward it was hurt and pain, but with Jake it was longing. I wanted to spend time with him, to hug him, to get the old Jacob back. But that would never happen.

I curled into my bed, tears still dripping down my face. It had hurt so bad to see Jacob run away from me. It literally stung.

I pushed those thoughts away and wished for sleep to take me.

* * *

><p><em>Click, click.<em>

A tapping; not a bug, not a homey, familiar sound, no, something new entirely. I hadn't heard anything like it before.

I crept out of bed, my feet gently prodding against the floorboards. I stopped and listened. The window.

My heart pumped furiously inside my chest. I ached to call to Charlie, to get him to save me from this unknown beast. But no, I couldn't do that. He was asleep; it was only one o'clock. I couldn't do that to him. I was practically a woman now, my 18th birthday was just around the corner, to my dismay. I could do this.

I knelt on the little chair placed near the windowsill, and grasped the latch in my sweaty hands. Breathing deeply to clear my head and shush my shaking hands I pulled on the lever. The lever came apart in my hands. I peered out the window instead; my face pressed against the glass.

He was there, staring up at me. A couple bright white rocks clutched in his strong hands. He threw one towards me; I backed away from it subconsciously. It hit the exact spot where my forehead had been. I struggled with the lever again. He was here. I had to talk to him. My heart raced again, not with fear, no, with longing, with the fever to see him and speak with him, to get my Jacob back. It unlatched, and the window swung open and rested against the wall.

"I'm coming up."

I could barely process his movements. He swung so gracefully on to the nearly dead tree seated under my window, and into the open window. He was so fast, so agile…this wasn't Jake, not the one I used to share my clumsiness with.

He was there, right in front of me. The moisture on his bare stomach glistening in the soft light that came from the light on my nightstand. His jet-black hair was pressed against his forehead, his eyelashes even held the sullen water drops. He paced the room slightly, not once making a sound against the floorboards. My eyes were fixated on him. The tanned and toned muscles, so perfect. So…desirable.

He cleared his throat, "If you are done staring at me, I'd like to talk to you." His voice was hard.

I looked up to meet his eyes, the hard, "I've seen too much" eyes; they softened when they met mine. I swallowed rather uncomfortably, "What?" My voice was tiny. I sat on the edge of my bed, picking at my nail.

He continued to stand and stare at me, " I- who was in this room? " His tone hinted at disgust, his facial features mirrored that.

"N-nobody…"

"Whatever…just forget it," He sat opposite me, "Do you remember the legends?" He was on edge. He played with his fingers and didn't sit still. He scanned the room.

"Huh?"

"For god sake Bella! The legends! About where we descended from?"

I chewed my bottom lip. He was right here in my room. Shirtless and hot, I could barely concentrate on his words, "Uh…"

He was getting frustrated it was evident. He continued to pace the room, and he shook. His whole body blurred with the small quivers coming from beneath his skin. He grasped onto a hair, making the wood splinter under his grip. I backed away, "Bella.," He stopped shaking entirely and pulled the chair to him and straddled it, "Think hard."

I did, really hard to avail.

"The beach, remember those times," He looked at me desperately, "What we descended from."

"Wolves."

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply through his nose, "Wolves…yes."

"Y-you're a wolf.." I was in shock. This couldn't be happening, and yet everything clicked into place. The meadow, when James had attacked me. Unnatural warmth. I reached out and grabbed Jacob's hand, it was blazing hot. I dropped it and stared at him, an emotion similar to horror taking over my features.

He was upset, I could tell; and pain. He looked at me, his mouth slightly open in a long 'O' and his hand reached out to me. He broke from the chair and sat on the bed, next to me.

I scurried away from him. All my senses pulled me to him, to hug him and get him to explain, and yet I was scared. The beast like Jake I had met earlier, scared me. The hatred in the eyes was unnatural and the trembling on his body was frightening, I didn't trust him like I used too.

His face melted, and the old Jake shone through momentarily. "Bella…I'm in love with you."

I stared at him.

He moved toward me, lust in his pitch black eyes. He cupped my face in his warm hands and pressed himself against me. The bed squeaked slightly under his weight.

My breath was caught in my throat. He was staring almost hungrily into my eyes, but everything felt so right. I ached for him to kiss me, to feel love that I badly needed.

He closed the distance between us and placed his extremely hot lips onto mine and moved them against mine.

My body reacted to his touch, subconsciously. My hand met the side of his face and I slapped him.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Next Chapter soon! Bella's POV if you didn't know! -Missy<em>**


	12. Not What it Seems

_**Super short again I know, but it's just a filler sort of, I need to get the plot going! D: :D Anyway, R&R!**_

**__**12. Not What it seems

_Everything is not what it seems_

_When you get all you want in your wildest dreams_

_You might run into trouble if you go to extremes_

_Because everything is not what is seems._

_-Everything's Not What it Seems; Selena Gomez_

* * *

><p>He moved away from me. Tiny quivers were jumping from under his flesh. He walked over to the window and looked down.<p>

I hurriedly got off the bed and grabbed his forearm, "Jacob, don't you leave…don't."

His eyes flicked to mine, the anger had subsided and was replaced with almost submission, his lips mumbled "I have to Bella, I'm sorry," he moved toward me, his lips after my cheek, but he tensed and backed away and jumped out the window.

I stood there, the kiss burning my lips. Staring at the empty window, hot angry tears flowed down my cheeks. I was angry with Jacob for moving onto me so quickly, I still wasn't over Edward after all, but a part of me, screamed at myself; for reacting the way I did. The kiss…had felt so right, so good I wanted more; my body ached for more, for him. I didn't want him to go. I wanted to talk to him, that's all I wanted for the past week was to talk to him, apart from Edward of course. And now that I had just found out something major about Jacob himself, I wanted to talk to him. I wasn't scared of him, he saved me after all, I just wanted to know more.

A arctic breeze blasted though the still open window. A chill ran down my spine at the familiarity of it. I hadn't felt that feeling in months and now he was right there. I couldn't help but grin and I breathed out a satisfied breath as my heart settled back into its rightful place. I turned quickly, my toes already crawling toward the man that they longed for. I ran into his open arms, and slung my own around his neck, and cried into him. Those strong marble arms closed around me and hugged me tightly.

I was in heaven, everything in my life had finally clicked back into place, "Edward.." I breathed out blissfully. I looked up into his eyes, the smooth honey colored ones that took my breath away every time I looked into them. They were toxic. As I stared into them, I realized that they were not in fact golden but bright blood red.

* * *

><p><strong>D: What happens next? I don't know, guess you are just gonna have to reviewww! Come on it's not to hard! Tell me it's horrible, I don't care, I just want feedback so I can improve! -Missy<strong>


	13. Stranger

_**New Chapter, still Bella's POV. Trying to fill in some holes so we can start the plot! :D **_

**__**13. Stranger

* * *

><p><em>There's no kindness in your eyes<em>

_The way you look at me, it's just not right_

_I can tell what's going on this time_

_There's a stranger in my life_

_-Stranger: Hilary Duff_

* * *

><p>Those crimson eyes held onto mine lustfully. I pulled my reluctant gaze from them, and searched for familiarity in his other features. But I found none; this wasn't Edward. I tensed instantly, the blood in veins went cold, and I somehow mustered a hoarse gasp before I tumbled out of his grasp onto the floor.<p>

He chuckled; the sound velvety smooth like Edwards but tinged with immorality. In fact, the more I examined him from my spot on the ground, the more similar the two became. The same honey bronze hair, same angular jaw and cheekbones, the same milky white skin completely void of all imperfections. It was an easy mistake, especially considering I hadn't seen him in months.

He rose from the bed quickly; the edges of his body blurred slightly like a camera losing focus. He stood directly in front me, and slowly lowered himself down to my level and kneeled in a non-defensive crouch. He smiled, the pearly white teeth taking on a fang like appearance. I cowered away instinct-fully and a tiny whimper escaped my lips.

"Do not be afraid," his blood red lips nearly sang. He reached out a hand to trace my jaw. I swallowed deeply, " I do not wish to hurt you, as of yet."

I said nothing; my whole body shook fearfully under his gaze, which held mine intently. I licked my lips and broke his stare, "What-t do you want-t from me?"

"It's not what I want from you. It's what you want from me." He smirked sadistically.

I swallowed again, as a nauseas feeling rose from the pit of my stomach, "What-t do you mean?"

" I know your value of the Cullen's…"

I looked down.

"…you used to be…part of them, yes?"

I nodded slightly, "Sort of." I whispered.

" And they value you? Correct?"

I shook my head from side to side. No.

"I beg to differ. I have just come from a…meeting with them. That Edward seemed…deeply grieved, but that girl that he was with…she was beautiful, much more then you. You value their safety, right? " He smirked.

His words stung a little. Of course Edward could do better then me. His words only intensified the feeling of emptiness that I already felt, " Just-t…what do you want?" My voice sounded stronger then I actually felt.

"Where are they." It didn't sound like a question, it was a statement, one I was expected to answer. But I couldn't. I didn't know.

"I-I don't know."

He raised a brow, "You don't know?"

I shook my head vigorously. Both to show how little I knew and to shake away the forming tears in the pits of my eyes. The disappointment that I felt at finding out the vampire that sat in front of me was not in fact Edward still stung like a iron had been pressed to my chest and left to sear a hole through me. It hurt; I hurt; THIS hurt so much more then words could describe. I wanted it to be him so bad; my heart had literally skipped a beat at the idea that he came back for me. What was I thinking at getting my hopes up? He wasn't coming back, " I thought you just had a meeting with them…"

"I did, over the phone, one I wasn't able to trace. They called me. Jasper specifically. I need to know where they are."

I shook my head again and looked up at him, into the eyes that were so similar yet so different, "Who are you?"

"Jamison, an old friend of Jasper," He smiled, he instantly appeared less threatening, "We fought together.

"Why do you need to find them?" I asked. I was becoming braver. I didn't know why I felt that way, but I did. Maybe it was because of the similarities. How comfortable I was with the features that Jamison and Edward had in common. My subconscious reacted, recognized them and acted accordingly. Or maybe I was just too scared, that my rational thinking turned off. I think it's the latter.

He smiled, a fake smile that barely reached his eyes, "That, I can not tell you."

"Why?" I felt like I needed to know. Just like I did when Rosalie told me that Edward had moved on. I needed to know everything that went on with him.

He shook his head, making that beautiful bronze hair swing with his movement. "I cannot tell you." He carefully separated his words and carefully pronounced each one, "I've already said to much." He got up and moved silently to the window.

I broke from where I was sitting quickly, eagerly scrambling over to him, desperate for more information, "You haven't told me anything jus-"

"ENOUGH!" He whisper yelled. His eyes turned a jet black with anger, "I have. I have told you my name. Much to much…" His eyes clicked to a picture of Jake on the clipboard above my desk. He stared at the picture for a while; the muscles in his jaw working as he carefully examined the picture. Finally he looked back at me, his eyes somehow even darker, "The attack from James has merely been a warning to the Cullen's, that they have not succeed in killing him. Worse is to come." After he spoke those words he agilely dove through the window and disappeared into the blackness of the forest.

I was so confused, so devastated that I couldn't even lift myself from the floor. I just curled onto the tiles, reeling in the damp coldness that penetrated my skin and left a familiar feeling of comfort sweep over me. I stayed like that into the early hours of the morning and let the cool morning air dance across my skin. The birds started to tweet as the sun lazily rose onto the horizon, drenching the room in a rosy glow, which broke me from my daydream state.

I walked out of the room and down the creaky old stairs into the kitchen. Charlie was already there sipping his coffee and reading the paper like always.

I smiled a small smile and went to the cupboards to get some cereal. I pushed the encounter with Jamison out of my mind and concentrated on just getting the cereal. I would think about things later.

He looked up, "Morning Bells." He mumbled and flashed a smile similar to the one I had just made.

"Morning Charlie…er Dad."

He chuckled, "Have problems calling me Dad?"

I shook my head, "No, I just didn't want to make you sound old."

He rolled his eyes at me playfully, "Right, of course you did."

I grinned, it was a real grin too, my dad always made me happy, even if I was dyeing inside. "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't." I sat opposite him and ate my cereal.

He broke the comfortable silence that followed while we ate, "How are you feeling Bella? You're up and about, that's a start."

I swallowed back the mouthful of cereal and looked for answers in the bowl, "Ok I guess, I'm a little dizzy though." I wasn't, but it was a good excuse for the dazed look that I knew was in my eye.

He nodded and put down the newspaper and rested his hands on the table, "Would you feel up for a bonfire at the Black's house tonight? Billy wanted to invite us as a welcome back party for you."

I knew immediately that it was an excuse for Jake and I to talk. I didn't know why that man wanted us to talk so bad but he did. He promised me that he would get him to talk to me before he quickly wheeled out the door after Jake hastily ran out. "Uh sure.." I wanted to get information out from him, about the whole...werewolf thing. The words felt weird to even think.

"Perfect, 7 ok? Have enough time? "

I nodded. It was enough time, maybe too much time. I wanted answers and I wanted them now.

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><p><strong>-Missy<strong>


	14. Dem Wolves do Howl

_**EDITED: **__** So I did in-fact notice that one part did not coincide with the other chapter like i expected it didn't. So I edited! **_

_**Hey, so this kind of took me forever, and I'm sorry. If anything doesn't coincide with the other chapters please tell me and I will fix it. Thank you. R&R!**_

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><p>14. Dem Wolves do Howl<p>

_-Conclusions manifest,_

_Your first impression's got to be your very best,_

_I see you're full of shit and that's all right, _

_It's how you play and guess who gets there every night, _

_Well now that's over…_

_-Headstrong ~Linkin Park _

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><p>I found myself standing in front of the mirror, combing out the tangles in my long brown hair, and taming the slight waves that always came with the humidity, which was abundant today. I looked in the counter under the sink and pulled out the tiny makeup bag that Alice had placed there, a lifetime ago. Riffling through it, I pulled out the tiny tube of ivory concealer and dabbed it under the purple blotches beneath my eyes. I was so awkward at this; it'd been months since I put makeup on. I hadn't dared touch it, when Edward left. It collected dust in the notches in the leather; not disturbed until today. I had to look good…for Jacob. Even if I was still mad at him for kissing me, and for refusing to see me all that time. I still wanted to look good for him.<p>

I looked in the mirror, into the pale girl's reflection and searched for answers in the girls' dull brown eyes. I just wanted to talk to Jacob, but some part of me ached to impress him, to get him to notice me. My heart had sunk so deeply when the mysterious man-like-Edward, appeared in my room. I wanted it back in place, to stop the hurt that still gnawed at it. It was ridiculous that I still ached for the man that turned me down in the most miserable way. I felt incredibly selfish and stupid for still wanting him. But I couldn't help it; I had thought he was the one. That kind of let down, wasn't going to be taken easily, no matter how much pain it continued to cause me in dwelling.

Part of me wanted to move on, maybe. Jacob kissed me. I knew he always loved me, but now it was obvious. But then part of me could not help in comparing him to Edward. They were different, completely different. I loved Edward and I loved Jacob. Jacob could heal my deadened heart, but did I want him to? He wants me, he is right there in arms length; mine for the taking. The makeup would make him like me even more right? He'd think I was beautiful, a covetable object maybe.

I smiled at my reflection. The makeup really brightened up my eyes, made the dull brown look lively, it made me look pretty, and it made me feel pretty too. I would try. I would try to accept Jacob I determined. We'd go on dates, to the movies, kiss each other; love each other.

I wiped the makeup off.

Down the stairs I walked, down to Charlie's outstretched arm that held the door open for me. I threw up my hood as it had started to downpour and walked to the idling cruiser. I got in with a sigh and shut the door with slightly twitching hands, Charlie right behind me.

"Everything all right?" He asked, his eyes out the back window as he pulled out of the driveway.

"Never better."

He sighed himself and flicked his gaze to me, as he drove down the street, "You know you suck at lying right?"

I smiled slightly and hid my widening grin from him, "And I wonder who I inherited that trait from."

He chuckled, "Oh not me. A policeman has to lie a lot."

"Does he now?" I smiled at him, "I think that's against the job description. You know, you're supposed to help people, lying doesn't help people much."

"Sure it does! I had to convince a crazy that, I saw the giant bear too. That sure helped him. Trust me."

"Whatever you say Charlie." I returned my eyes to my lap, thankful that the topic of conversation had switched from my nervousness.

He chuckled and focused on the slick road ahead of him.

I looked out the window, lost in thought. Staring into the never-ending array of gorgeous greens that were the trees, I contemplated exactly what I was feeling. I wasn't really sure. Yes, I had scrubbed the makeup off, so hard that my eyes were not even redder. The truth was, that no matter how badly I didn't want to hurt anymore. I still had hope that Edward wasn't gone forever.

That worried me. Before, I couldn't even think his name. I'd always subconsciously referred to him as 'him'. But now, I thought his name freely. I don't remember when I made that switch. I remember slowly thinking his name, but it certainly didn't come easy.

Ah, it was when Jacob came over when I was released from the hospital. It was a mindless transition.

And it scared me. I didn't want to lose him; I didn't want to forget like he swore I would. I was determined to hold onto the feeling of his ice-cold skin on my mine. How smooth and toxic his voice was when he whispered in my ear. That little lopsided smirk that I loved was slipping from my mind. I tried to think of them, to bring them back to the foremost of my mind. But they pushed back and away from me. He was right; I was losing him. I couldn't picture it quiet right, it was fuzzy, like a grainy image.

I let out a squeal of frustration only to recognize that it was the tread of the tires pulling onto the rough gravel of the Black's house. We were here.

I swallowed back bile and pushed away the thoughts of Edward back into the deepest depths of my mind, where they wanted to be. I needed to concentrate, and well…Edward was distracting.

I dropped my eyes to the gravel, both to protect them from the rain, and to avoid eye contact with Jacob. I wanted answers, but that didn't necessarily mean I wanted to face him.

Charlie walked ahead of me and stood at the dingy white door, splattered with streaks of mud. He waited until a figure opened the door and held it open for him.

The figure and I, stood facing each other, staring. It took me a few moments before I realized that I had stopped moving, feet from the door. The rain poured down on me, drenching me from head to toe.

The figure chuckled and moved into the light, it was Jake. "Come on Bella, I don't bite." He smiled, a smile so similar to my sunny Jacob smile.

"I hope not." I absentmindedly scratched at the spot where the bite lay.

He frowned. "Bella…I need to talk to you."

"I know. So do I. That's why I came here." I moved forward toward the door, but he stopped me in my tracks, with a hot hand on my forearm.

"No," he spoke slowly, "Not here…I need to talk to you…alone."

"No…I want to stay inside." I brushed past him and trudged to the door, I placed a hand on the cool doorknob only for it to jerk out of my grasp. Jake's scorching hand was on my arm again. He pulled me to him and turned me around to face him, I instinctually looked down.

"Bella…" he grabbed my chin and tilted it upwards so that he could see my eyes. I yanked away from him again and returned my eyes to my feet. I realized Jacob wasn't wearing any shoes. Man, his feet were huge…you know what they say about big feet…"Bella." He repeated, shifting his feet uncomfortably to get my attention. I hadn't even realized I was staring at him.

I looked up at him, into the warm pools of chocolate brown, "It's raining Jake."

"Thanks tips." The corners of his mouth drew up into a sly smirk.

I was surprised at how easy this was. It was like the Jacob that had visited me at home after I came back from the hospital was gone. My old best friend had come back and I wouldn't question it. The anger that I had completely dissipated, it was obvious that he had completely forgot about kissing me, forgot about the awkwardness that had surfaced between us, and I didn't care. I didn't want to even bring up the Jake that I had briefly seen, the angry, resentful Jake that never smiled. I didn't have to be alone anymore, he was back. My heart soared and I couldn't help but smile. I punched his arm lightly, but he didn't even budge, "I know its raining Jake!"

"Thank god. I was getting worried Bella, I thought you'd lost it."

I rolled my eyes and started to walk in the direction of the forest, knowing that he'd follow. I plunged my hands into my pockets, craving the relief of body heat. Somehow my needs were met, as I felt Jacob's scorching hot body flooded my own with warmth as he walked beside me. I lifted my ice old hands from my pockets and wrapped them around his forearm. His body stiffened instantly, and he stopped walking, "You're cold…"

My fingers dropped away from his arm and returned to their place in my pockets, "Sorry."

We walked silently; the only sound in the forest came from the gentle swaying of the trees, the patter of raindrops bounce off of the treetops and the crunch of dried leaves under our feet. A log lay on First Beach. Its mossy underside lay facing the sky, while it's side –stripped of bark- faced the ocean. I walked over to the log and pulled off a strip of remaining bark on the log and set it on the moist sand. I lowered myself onto it and pulled my hood over my head to protect my hair and face from the sea mist that rolled off of the water.

Jake sat on the bark beside me, and looked out into the horizon, at the tumbling and crashing waves that stretched on forever. He looked down at me, a smile on his red lips, "Beautiful."

I smiled at him and looked back out at the ocean, "It is beautiful isn't it?" The sunrays peaked out from behind the clouds over the cliffs in the west, and illuminated the tops of the waves as they drew closer to the cliffs. The effect that it gave was serene and out of this worldly.

I could feel his gaze on me, so I returned my eyes from the ocean to him, "I wasn't talking about the water." He whispered.

I laughed, I actually laughed, "Are you trying to hit on me Jake?"

He smiled at my laugh, but it was a weak one that didn't reach his eyes. He was.

"I'm still not over Edward you know."

He sighed and ran a hand through his wet hair, "Why?"

"What does that mean? I'm in love with him Jake. I love him."

"No you don't…" He mumbled.

"Yes I do Jake."

"He left you Bells, he's gone. He doesn't love you, if he did he wouldn't of left."

I shook my head mechanically, to shake off the rush of emotion, "I'm not talking about this with you."

"Yes, yes you are. This is exactly what I wanted to talk about." He moved so that he sat in front of me, "Do you remember what I told you a few nights ago?

"You're a werewolf." I wanted to talk to him about this, but I was still surprised at how easily the words rolled off my tongue.

He breathed an audible sigh of relief, "You remember."

I nodded.

"Are you scared?" He bared his teeth at me, "Aren't you afraid I'm going to kill you?"

I simply shook my head with a smile on my face, "No, you haven't yet, and you saved me, why would you save me if you were just going to kill me afterward. And Edward was a vampire."

He said nothing for a few minutes then, "What! YOU KNOW," He yelled, the birds in a nearby tree cawed at us and flew off.

"I know," I replied simply.

"HOW!"

"I figured it out. I told him and he filled in the pieces." My heart ached just thinking about the moments in our past that we shared together.

"But he never told you about me?"

I shook my head, "No he never mentioned you…it was you in the meadow wasn't it?"

"What? When you were dying from when the leech nearly killed you? Yeah it was me."

I nodded and traced the outline of the scar on my forearm, the one that James had given me almost a year ago. The first time that I had almost died, and the second time that I'd almost ever died from a vampire was all done from the same vampire. "Edward killed him," I said while still looking at the scar.

"Who?"

"James, the vampire you killed."

I could see him from the corner of my eye, he was staring at me confused, "Did you just hear yourself? If he killed him then obvios-"

"I know Jacob-" I interrupted, "But he killed him, he told me. And it was James in the meadow, I know it was."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I don't know Jake!" I had to get it off my chest. I had to tell somebody, but Jacob was the only one that I could really talk to. I wanted to tell him all about the vampire that had come to my room. The one that told me that it was James that had attacked me, like I had expected all along, but never truly believed it. I looked back at the scar on my arm, and stared at it. Edward had told me that he killed him, said that he watched the body turn to ashes on the ballet studios floor. But then Jamison had told me that, the attack from James was a warning that they hadn't killed him, that worse was to come for me. How had Edward seen the body go to ashes if James was still alive. Nothing fit together! One of them had to be lying. But it was James, now that my suspicions had been confirmed, I was sure about it. It was James that had nearly killed me in the studio and the one that had nearly killed me in the meadow, "I-I.."I wanted to tell Jacob all of this, get an opinion. I wanted him to tell me I was crazy, that he was really dead all along. Something. But my mouth just couldn't form the words that I wanted to say. The words sat on my tongue, waiting to be thrust from my mouth, but I couldn't. I said nothing else.

He lay back on the sand; the sand immediately clung to the strands of hair on his head, "Well he's dead, I won't lie."

I looked back out at the ocean. The sun had sunk down to a break in the clouds on the horizon, which sent pink streaks out onto the water, making the water look even more beautiful. We sat in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.

"I imprinted on you."

I looked down at him when he spoke. The rays of pink graced his features with their soft light. I had never really noticed how kind of beautiful he was. He was not Edward beautiful. Edward was angelic and surreal in beauty, while Jacob was raw and human. Jacob paled in comparison with Edward, but he wasn't any less. He was equally beautiful, just in a different way. He caught me staring and pulled me down to him. I fell on top of him, and scooted off of him nearly instantly. His features sang with disappointment.

"What's imprinting?"

He sat up and leaned on his elbow, "Imprinting is like a wolf finding his soul mate. When he imprints the one that he imprints on becomes his whole world. That's not figuratively either. As soon as he looks…or she looks into the imprints eyes, it's not gravity holding him to the earth anymore, it's her. The wolf can be anything the girl needs. A friend, a brother, or a lover. He'll never leave her and they share an unbreakable bond. One that they both can't resist." All of his features lit up when he spoke. His eyes sparkled and he smiled that sunny Jacob smile, the one that always put a smile on my face, but not this time. I just stared at him, "And I imprinted on you."

I continued to stare; I was speechless, "What if that's not what I want?"

The smile slipped off his face and replaced with an expression that I presumed one that a boy who just watched his puppy get killed, "But…you, I-I…" He couldn't get the words out, he just stared at me, "Bella you don't understand."

I stood up, "I understand perfectly fine! I have to write off my life, just because I'm perfect for you. But guess what Jacob Black, you're not perfect for me, Edward is. And just because he's gone now, doesn't mean I will just give up and move onto you. I don't work that way." I walked back into the forest, no sound of his footsteps indicated that he was following me. I felt empowered and slightly ashamed for my actions. I know that he had always been in love with me, but making up an absurd lie just to get him me to love him, wasn't going to make me love him in return. I did to him, exactly what he did to me at the movies all those months ago. Left me alone and confused. I had missed him terribly, now he could do the same. After all, he hadn't even made an effort to see me, until I had almost died.

I stalked through the forest, feeling the crunch of the deadened leaves and greenery under my feet. I didn't trip once. I walked to the squad car parked in front of Billy's house and got into the car, and slammed the door behind me. I started it up and pulled out of the driveway and onto the road and drove quickly off.

Adrenaline coursed through my veins from yelling at Jake, making my heart beat quickly and beads of sweat to form on brow. Since when had I become so badass? I stole a squad car, yelled at my best friend and now I was speeding down the highway with said squad car. I liked it.

Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' came on the radio and I cranked up the volume. I howled along with the music. My howls perfectly matched the howls from the realistic howls in the music. Howling perfectly must come with being a badass.

From the corner of my eye I seen flashes of white appear in the ditch. But I ignored it. It was getting late and I had been driving for quiet some time by now, with the music blaring, it was fairly normal for your vision to mess with you.

Again. In the dark trees, a flash of unmistakable white; I watched it until it disappeared. Suddenly a crushing force slammed into the truck. Before I even knew what had happened I was pressed against the roof, blood streaked over my cheeks and into my eyes. I gasped for a lungful of air, only to be rewarded with a lungful of dust and gasoline smelling odors. I was in an immense amount of pain, I wanted to scream for help, but my throat wouldn't corporate.

The mangled door of the cruiser flew off and a man with glowing pale skin smiled down at me. His fang like teeth gleamed in the moonlight.

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><p><em><strong>Missy :) <strong>_


	15. The Battle of the Brain

_**So guess what? I finally sat down and wrote a plot line for this story, yay! :D Sooo basically that means that chapters won't take me 5 billion years to write because I'll actually know what I am doing ahead of time! Isn't that great! I think it is….Well anyway this chapter is kind of a long one! :O It serves as a way to do character development and bring in some important aspects that will be relevant later on in the story. It's not too exciting but I hope it's not die worthy boredom inducing…so yeah! Stick with this story because I promise you it will be good eventually! **_

_**Things to know: **_

_**1. Well since I did write a plot line, the summary has changed a wee bit, it'll seem redundant and the same but trust me it changes things from where my original plot was going ;) **_

_**Here it is: UPDATED SUMMARY: **_Bella had always assumed that the beautiful Edward was her Romeo, but after he left her hurt and broken, she realizes she was horribly mistaken. After a tragic run- in with a familar vampire, Bella finds her true Romeo to be none other than the happy go- lucky kid, Jacob, who left her at the movies. But like any true story of Romeo and Juliet tragedy strikes, and a happily ever after doesn't seem to be on the horizon. Jacob and Bella struggle to be the exception. _****_

_****_That's it! SO R&R :D _****_

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><p>15. The Battle of the Brain<p>

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><p><em>I am a flower quickly fading<em>

_Here today and gone tomorrow_  
><em>A wave tossed in the ocean<em>  
><em>A vapor in the wind<em>  
><em>Still You hear me when I'm calling<em>  
><em>Lord, You catch me when I'm falling<em>  
><em>And You've told me who I am <em>

_I am Yours, I am Yours_

_~Who am I; Casting Crowns_

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><p>"Well, well, well…" He cooed, as he pulled me from the wreck. Blood streamed into my eyes, making my vision obscured with red. I couldn't even wipe it away, I was powerless to the crushing debilitation that the car-crash had put my body in. I was sure I wasn't hurt too badly. None of my limbs screamed with pain, the ground wasn't stained with my own blood. The source of the blood only came from a gash above my brow. And yet, I couldn't move. All of my limbs were locked together. I felt incredibly limp, but stiff at the same time. I was powerless to the cold hands of the beautiful creature that pulled me into the ditch and away from the cruiser. A whimper escaped from my lips, a hoarse one that sounded similar to the sound my body made as it was scraped along the rough pavement.<p>

He pulled me just into the woods and stopped. He knelt down in front of me, his bronze hair fell into his eyes and he pushed it back with a pale hand, which shimmered in the moon rays, "Do you remember me?" His voice was soft, like smooth velvet, but tinged with a darker presence. He was the vampire that had come into my room, the one that had asked me about the Cullen's, the one that had told me that worse was to come.

"Jamison." My cracked throat managed to whisper. I looked away, and I swallowed back the bile that had begun to form in my parched throat. This wasn't going to be good, I was sure. He smashed the cruiser; he obviously didn't care about my safety, not that I had expected him to either…

He chuckled, "Yes Jamison. You remember. You're human memories usually hold onto nothing, like a sieve." It was the exact words that Edward had said, "But you remembered. If you remember that, then you must remember what I told you." He looked at me expectantly. His shinning red eyes bored holes into me.

"I-I…" I started, but stopped. The letters hurt too bad to form, and besides, he would tell me anyway. He seemed like that kind of 'type'. I looked past the vampire and into the black forest.

I wanted to scream, to cry out, anything to be saved from this vampire. Not that anyone would be able to protect me, humans were no match for a vampire. A knife couldn't pierce their skin, not even a bullet could stop there already still heart. I was powerless to him. Nothing I could do or anyone else for that matter would be able to change my imminent fate.

He rolled his eyes and waited a few seconds, an expectant stare on his face before speaking, "I told you I was looking for the Cullen's and I told you, that worse was to come." He smiled at me. The smile was soaked in sadistic kindness as he dabbed a lazy finger against my forehead, picked up the blood with his fingertip and transferred it to his red lips, " I can't find the Cullen's, and I've told you too much," He paused for a few seconds, "I have no use for you any longer." The way he spoke was soft like mist and his mouth barely opened when he spoke, but the words were sharp like the teeth that he licked.

I stared at him, trembling. My body shook with fear and the blood continued to pool into my open mouth and eyes. I didn't say a word. I didn't even try to wipe the blood from my face, I was dead anyway. What was the point?

He walked closer to me and bent down at the waist. I cowered away instinctually, but his cold hand shot out and grabbed me by the chin and yanked me forward.

My body was shaking now, so so badly. The hand on my chin was forceful, it was cold, it has hard and it hurt. Tears came down my cheeks in silent sobs. I didn't want him to touch me. I didn't want to die.

I kept trying to pull away from him, to find an escape and run. I knew he would catch me, but maybe then my death would be quick and painless. My spine would be snapped the second he leaped on me. But he kept on with the tightening grip, until altogether he lurched me forward. He leaned ahead; the stench of his breath was volatile. The overpowering scent of rusty blood made me sick to my stomach. His cold and damp mouth pressed against my forehead, and he greedily drunk the life out of me.

I was slipping away from reality as he continued to drink. The trees dipped and swayed and glowing eyes appeared in the forest. 1, 2, 4 sets of beady yellow eyes stared. The ground made a rumbling noise, deep like thunder, and the earth exploded around us. The vampire pulled away from my forehead and faced the yellow eyes. His body melted like candle wax into the ground. Suddenly he regained form and sped off into the forest and the grumbling ground and beady yellow eyes followed after him, all of them except for one pair.

The eyes turned into a boy and he walked toward me. He picked me up, around the waist and heaved me up into his arms. He was so very warm, and comfortable, that I curled into him, "Are you…God?" I mumbled to the boy that was warm.

"Not quiet." He made a grumbling sound, but it lifted up at the end.

I felt like I was in a fog, but I didn't feel like I was dying anymore. I liked the presence of the warm boy.

Maybe this is how you died. He was an angel that had picked up my body and was taking me now to heaven. I was ok with it, as long as my final moments didn't have to be with the vampire.

I could faintly see a bright light in the distance from my partially closed eyes. A figure darted out of the light and took me from the warm boys arms. These new arms were cold, but not as cold as a vampire's, " No!" I tried to fight against the cold arms that held me tightly. I wanted to be with the warm boy still.

"Bella! Calm down!" The cold arms whisper yelled, but I continued to kick.

The warm arms took me from the cold ones, and I relaxed again, "I'll take her into the house Em."

I was laid on a smooth board, while the bright light shone overhead. I screwed my eyes tightly shut.

"Is she ok? What happened?"

"Leech. She'll be ok; I think she's just in shock, she thinks I'm God. We got there before he could drink too much, though. Lucky their salvia closes wounds so she shouldn't be bleeding anymore."

"Ok…thank-you Jared. Do you have to go?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, just be careful alright?"

"Nah, I'm just going to try to be killed."

The cold arms, girly voice laughed, "Just go."

The warm boy left with a warm breeze on my skin. The girl I presumed by the high octave of her voice leaned over me and gently placed a face cloth on my face and wiped the blood off. I wanted to open my eyes, to speak, to move, anything to tell her that the coldness of the cloth made me uncomfortable. I wanted to tell her that I wanted the warm boy, Jared. I wanted warmth, and comfort, not coldness.

"Bella…" She whispered. Her voice was tender and kind. It was motherly and it made the rag feel warmer, "Bella I want you to open your eyes, just for a minute ok?"

I struggled with my body, and tried to overcome the fog of sleep and drowsiness that plagued me. She continued to press the scratchy cloth against my forehead to free the dried liquid from my skin, all the while whispering my name in a mantra.

Finally, I slowly opened my eyes. Instantly I was met with the blinding light that was above us. Everything was a bright purely light; heaven was beautiful. But gradually the room came into focus. The bright light faded to yellow and then to the room's natural colors, this wasn't heaven, this was Washington.

It was in fact a girl that was hovering over me. She was young, but not younger then me, she seemed to be in her early twenties. Ebony hair flowed down her back to rest at her waist and her skin was a milky caramel color, similar to Jake's. She had the plain kind of prettiness that very natural women glow with, at least her left side did. Three long gashes raked down the girl's right side of her face. The gashes dug into her skin like claw marks, which left the fleshy scars a light pink. She must have been beautiful before the accident that caused this, but now her soft features were left disfigured. The corner of her mouth and eyelid were pulled down with the scars, like the right side of her face had melted. Behind the girls dull brown eyes, that flickered with happiness at seeing me awake, a darker, sadder girl looked down at me. She was embarrassed and ashamed of the way she looked. The girl turned her head so that I could only see the left and looked down at her shoes. I quickly dropped my eyes to my hands littered with slight scratches and examined them; I must have been staring.

The silence in the room was deadly, as she continued to stare at her feet. I wanted to thank her, to say anything to her, but my mouth and throat wouldn't cooperate. Sleepiness pulled my eyelids down and I closed them. The next instant, I felt her cold hand on my arm, "Darling, stay awake."

I worked my mouth again and managed a faint, 'ok'.

A crooked smile was on her face now. The sad girl that was evident before, was gone, her eyes glowed, "I'm Emily."

"Bella." I whispered. I wasn't completely in control of my voice yet, so it cracked on the 'a'.

"I know, who you are. Do you think you can sit up? I want to check your back."

I nodded my head slightly and pulled myself off the table and into a sitting position. It felt like I had suddenly gained a thousand pounds. I sunk into the board that I was on, barely able to keep my self-upright. Emily pulled up my shirt slightly and pressed a cooling compress to my hot flesh. I winced.

"I'm sorry Bella." She continued to press the compress against my skin. The coldness no longer felt threatening, but nice and refreshing.

"Thank you…where am I," I couldn't manage anything but a whisper. I looked around the room where we were in. It was quaint and homely. A couch was in the corner with an old boxed TV in front of it with DVD's stacked beside. A dinning table and chairs were in the centre of the room, with paperwork and various books and magazines stacked a top. The walls weren't painted, but clean cider boards. Various pictures hung on the walls, some of Emily, some of a man, and others of the girl and a man. The man looked a lot like Jacob, but his features weren't as soft. The room wasn't overly neat, but it looked lived in, comfortable.

"This is Sam and I's home. Jared brought you over here, after they rescued you from the vampire." She walked off and came back a few moments later with a tall glass of water in her hands. She handed it to me, and I sucked it back.

I placed it on the table beside the one that I was on with slightly shaking fingers. I knotted them together and tried not to think about the vampire and how close I came to dying once again, "What-t? Vampires don't exist…" It was a secret, humans weren't supposed to know.

She smiled slightly, the left corner of her mouth pulled up while the right stayed stationary, "We won't talk about the vampire anymore…but I know Bella." She smiled reassuringly at me, " How do you feel?"

I nodded. I didn't protest to talk about the vampire and find out she knew, she was right, I didn't want to talk about it either, "Ok. A lot better than before." My forehead was wrapped in a bandage, and the cold from the compress tamed my flaming back, from where Jamison had dragged me across the pavement. The fog had lifted slightly, but I was still dreadfully tired.

She sat beside me and took my hand into hers. Her eyes shifted to the door and lay there for a few minutes. Her dull brown eyes looked solemn, and her grip on my hand tightened. A little howl flitted through the door and she sighed loudly. She looked back at me, a small smile on the left side of her lips, "I know you just woke up, but could you help me bake? If you're up for it." She added quickly.

She had been so nice, to open up her home to me, even when I didn't know her. I agreed with a small smile and gently lifted my deadened body off of the table. I leaned against her rusty shoulder as she helped steady me. Once I was stable enough to walk she took me into the next room behind a door that I had not noticed before in the far corner of the room.

It was a small kitchen, keeping up with the homely aurora of the house. A simple old-fashioned stove sat lonely in the corner with maple cabinets above it. A yellowing fridge was across from the stove and a table that served as the island was in the exact centre of the room. Around the table sat 8 chairs, crowded together to the point where it appeared that benches were in place of the chairs. Everything was spotless. Not a utensil or object was out of place.

She clicked her fingers in front of my face and giggled, "Bella, darling. I know you are tired and I know the kitchen is very interesting, but you can't just stand there all night!" In my arms she placed a book, a recipe book. She flipped it open to a marked page and pointed at the recipe that lay on that page. Monster Muffins, "Can you make those?"

"Of course," I said, while walking to the counter piled high with ingredients. I read the recipe and started to make the muffins, while Emily read her own cookbook.

We worked in comfortable silence. I loved to bake, and muffins were no exception. I threw myself into my work and prepared a double batch of 'Monster Muffins' in the time that it took Emily to make 2 pies.

The heat from the oven felt nice on my cold skin as I pushed the muffin tins into the preheated oven. I closed the door and set the timer. Emily continued to work on her pies so I walked over to where she worked and watched. The way that she carefully pressed the crust into even shapes reminded me of the way that my grandmother baked. How every detail that she put into her baking, no matter how miniscule, had to be done right, "You're really good at that."

"What this," she giggled, "I hope I am, I've made so many pies for those boys…" She continued to work; her nimble hands flew over the crust.

"What boys?"

She carried the now finished pie to the oven, and put it next to the still baking muffins, "The pack."

"The pack?"

She nodded, "The pack! You know don't you dear?"

"Do I know what?" I felt stupid for asking for information when she expected me to know.

"Sam told me that Jacob told you…" She looked at me curiously

"Oh…what Jacob is…Yeah he told me. I kind of figured it out before then though. But I didn't know there were more then just a couple. "

She nodded again, "Yes, there is 5, including Jacob." She pointed at 5 of the chairs around the table, "And he told you…about…" She looked at me expectantly once more and again, I stared at her blankly, unable to pick up on the stare that was etched on her face, the one that smiled knowingly. Her face slowly fell to match the right side as she frowned, "He didn't tell you?"

I leaned against the counter and stared down at the marbled surface, which was lightly dusted with flour. I swirled my finger around in it, making little designs. I'd do anything to not talk about what I thought she was getting at, "Tell me what…" I asked innocently. I looked up at her, a frown on my lips.

"About imprinting…" Bingo, it was exactly what I had thought she was talking about.

"Oh, yeah he mentioned it. It's not real though right?" I knew she was going to tell me it was. I had thought it over a bit, and realized that compared to everything else in my life, it wasn't too far-fetched, maybe even the most normal thing in my life right then. Vampire, werewolves…what was so hard to believe about true love. I still played innocent. It wasn't etched in stone, true fact for me yet; I just decided that it was probable.

Her whole face lit up with happiness, "Oh honey, it's real all right. Sam, he imprinted on me. It was, rough to say the least at first, but it gets better," her face resonated with unsaid pain, but she quickly shook it off.

"I kind of told him off when he told me. I was angry at him because I thought he was just making it up."

She nodded and was about to open her mouth when the doorbell rang. She scurried to the door, her feet never lifting from the ground and practically threw the door open.

The contrast between the glow of light from indoor fluorescents and the utter darkness that was outside meant that I couldn't see the figure that stood at the door. Emily helped the figure in and lifted something from the figure's arms, it looked like a disembodied head. They moved away from the door together, the figure and Emily and into the light while the door clicked closed behind them. It was a girl, a taller, skinny girl who had the same kind of plainness like Emily. She was shy, her eyes were poised on the ground before she looked briefly up at me and smiled kindly. I smiled back, mimicking the shy kindness that she had, and I did as well.

The 'head' that Emily had in her arms, was actually a baby, a baby girl. She was about 2 years old and her skin matched the same tanned hue that the other girls had. I looked down at my own, pale white hand. I felt out of place, like a snowflake in a golden dessert.

"Kim," Emily said, well taking the shy girl's hand and pulling her closer to her, "This is Bella. Bella this is Kim, she is," she giggled again, "'God's' imprint."

I smiled at them both and looked embarrassedly down at the floor, "Oh…" I laughed nervously, "Yeah, Jared's his name right," I looked at Kim, who looked flustered to see that I was looking at her.

"Yeah, Jared's his name. Though I'm sure he'd love to be called God…"

"Are you kidding?" Emily giggled, " That boy will be begging you to call him God."

I giggled too and smiled at them both, "Who's this?" I gestured to the baby that Emily had in her arms.

"My niece, Claire. She's Quil's imprint." I knew who Quil was. He was a boy that Jacob used to hang out with. I sometimes seen him when he stopped by Jake's and I was there, but I had never really connected with him.

The back door clicked open, making Kim and Emily to immediately go to the door. I followed after them, eager to see who had come back. I hopped that it was Jake, so that I could apologize for the way that I reacted only a couple of hours sooner. But he wasn't there. Instead 2 tall bodies stood in the doorway, half naked. There tanned muscles sparkled with droplets of water that reflected from the overhead lights. One was the man that I had seen in the picture, and the other was one that I had never seen before.

Emily immediately put down the baby that was in her arms and went into Sam's. His dark face lifted instantaneously and his mouth curved upward into a satisfied smile. He wrapped his arms around her small waist and hugged her tightly. She melted into his chest; her cheek was tightly pressed against him as she hugged him for dear life. I noticed that Kim and the other boy were doing the same.

I met Jared's eyes that continuously flickered from mine to the timid girl that he held protectively in his arms, "Jacob's on the porch," he mumbled to me.

I nodded and smiled and gently brushed past the two couples that stood between Jacob and me. I opened the door and walked outside.

The rain fell heavily down in torrents that soaked my thin clothes almost instantly. I pulled up the hood of my sweatshirt over my head and walked a few feet into the blackness. The cloak of night was so thick, that I couldn't see the boards beneath my feet; I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face.

A lip in one of the boards sent me flying forward, a little screech came from my mouth and I thrust my hands out in front of me to aid my fall. But I never met the ground. Jacob's flaming hot hand caught me by the wrist and steadied me. I could faintly see the outline of his body in the darkness, but not until he raised his hands above his head and the censored lights caught the movement did I see the miserable look on his face.

His lips were straight and unforgiving, like a soldier recalling his time in battle. His eyes were like frozen mounds of dirt. I used to be able to see the carefree nature that glowed behind his eyes, but they were void, gone. There was no emotion in the. They were dead.

He sat on the porch again with a sigh. I sat beside him silently, worrying if this was something of my doing.

"Jacob?"

"What?" He snapped. His voice clipped and harsh, perfectly matching the look on his face.

It was something I did. What I did, how I treated him. I looked into the blackness of the trees, and skimmed them. I didn't know what to say, no words would be good enough to portray how badly I felt.

"I'm sorry."

He snorted.

"Really Jacob…I am. You didn't deserve to be treated like that, it's just- news for me." I still wasn't sure if I believed the whole imprinting story quiet yet, but I admitted to myself that I had overreacted.

"I know it is. If you would of given me a chance to talk to you about it, then none of this would of happened. Maybe then, I wouldn't have had to have watched the fucking leech suck the life out of you!" I winced at the harshness of his words, and watched at his skin quivered like a train of insects paraded across his flesh.

My hands seemed to have a mind of their own. I reached out and gently touched the quivering skin in an effort to calm him and traced along the curvature of the piles of muscles, reeling in the feeling of his warm skin against my fingertips. His skin gradually lessened in it's jumping nature. I continued to caress his arm, until I felt his warm breath ruffle my hair and slow from the panting to a gentle exhale.

We were best friends, when did things have to be so complicated? Touching him would not have been a problem a few months ago, but it felt weird now and out of place in our relationship. I awkwardly lifted my hands from his arm and back down to my lap.

"I'm sorry," I repeated.

He said nothing. His dark eyes were downcast, framed with heavy lashes, and his thin lips were slightly open.

There was a twinge in my being that subconsciously brought me close to him. I couldn't help it. My whole body craved for him, to feel his warmth on me, so that he could warm the even coldest parts of me. Even though my heart screamed at me to stop, by brain and body told me to kiss him. I listened to my brain for once.

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><p><em><strong>~Missy. If you can't tell I like cliffhangers. <strong>_


	16. The Want Outweighs the Need

16. The Want Outweighs the Need

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><p>-<em>Heat beats fast<em>

_Colours and promises_

_How to be brave_

_How can I love you when I'm afraid to fall_

_But watching you stand alone_

_All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow_

_One step closer… _

_~A thousand Years; Christiana Perri _

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><p>He's shocked, his whole body tense and rigid; not soft. But I don't give up on kissing him and I don't know why. I just want to feel warm. That's all I want.<p>

Finally, the barrier that he built up around himself crumbles and crashes down. His posture softens, he pulls me closer and his mouth moves against mine. He's still shocked, I can feel it in the hesitancy in the movements of his lips.

The chill that my body is always plagued with melts away and I feel warm. His lips are soft and moist and he tastes good. So good, like pine needles and mint. The arm that is snaked around my waist, tugs me close to him.

I keep kissing him. I love the feel of his lips on mine. It feels right, it feels good and I feel safe. He kisses back with need and I return it. He's desperate, he loves this, he wants more, but he knows not to rush me.

I'm sitting on his lap now. His hands are clammed at my waist, pulling me closer. I'm close, but I need to be closer. I can feel the muscles of his chest and stomach against mine. I can feel his heartbeat, its rapid. I love to hear it.

I pull away a bit and open my eyes. His eyes are open too, gazing into mine with passion. My hand meets the side of his face and I gently stroke the cleanly shaven skin of his cheek. His eyelids flutter closed and a soft pant escapes his open and pink lips. I gently press mine against them, and feel them react and close to kiss me back. Again I pull away and move away from him.

His hands on my waist fall to rest at his side, while his eyes search mine. He's confused, but happy. He's happy I've finally accepted him, but I move away and stand up.

He frowns, he's upset, and he wants to keep kissing me. But I back away and walk into the woods.

He follows, his pace a few steps behind mine. He's yelling, but I can't understand a word he's saying.

My lips are burning with his heat; I touch them to see if they really are on fire. They're not, but the fire is there.

I keep walking, he's still right there, but he doesn't grab me. He could if he wanted to, but he doesn't.

I just need to get away, get away before the tears come. I'm so scared. I'm scarred, broken and afraid to fall. But I've fallen and I can't and won't get up.

I feel cold again and the tears come barreling down my cheeks. I want to go back, to kiss him again, but I can't. My feet keep moving forward. He's stopped, he's not following anymore, and his yelling has stopped too.

I can see his face, his eyes those lips…over and over and over again. I can tell he wants me, and I want him too.

I want to be warm, I hate the cold.

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><p><em><strong>~Missy. Now I know this chapter makes about 0 senses, but it's not supposed too. R&amp;R. <strong>_


	17. Just Keep Swimming

_**Hey! New Chapter! Yay! So I have a timeline here for anyone wondering exactly how much time has passed, I'll probably include this timeline regularly now, just to avoid confusion or maybe just simply put the dates at the top of the chapters. You will see what I have decided by the next chapter which should be up in about a week or two. Bet on 2. I know that is appears to be going really slow, but I have a lot of things that are going to happen, so stick with it! So here is the timeline:**_

_**September 13th –Edward leaves her**_

_**March 6th –James Attacks her.**_

_**March 13th – Bella remembers what happens to her, and Rosalie comes to visit**_

_**March 17th – Bella questions what Jake is.**_

_**May 3rd –Bella is released from the hospital and Jake imprints on her.**_

_**May 4th the early morning- Jake tells her he's a wolf and kisses her only for Bella to slap him.**_

_**- Jamison appears to her.**_

_**May 4th: 7 o'clock: Bella goes to Jacob's to talk to him, even though she is not pleased with him. Jacob tells her that he imprinted on her, Bella flips and stalks off, convinced he's trying to deceive her.**_

_**10 o'clock: Jamison attacks her and the wolves rescue her.**_

_**May 5th: 12 o'clock: Emily talks to her and she kisses Jake, and then runs away from him.**_

_**So I hope that helps a bit! I know that a lot has happened in the span of a couple of days, but that happens sometimes :p. R&R!**_

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><p>17. Just Keep Swimming<p>

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><p><em>So a day when you've lost yourself completely<em>

_Could be a night when your life ends_

_Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving_

_All of the pain held in your_

_Hands are shaking cold_

_Your hands are mine to hold_

_Speak to me_

~Move Along; ALL AMERICAN REJECTS

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><p>I don't know how I managed to get to Billy's but I did, just in time before the torrents of tears that fell over my cheeks, shook my body so hard that it was difficult to move without the feeling of vertigo restrain me.<p>

Billy and Charlie stood rigid at the door. The phone that was clutched in Charlie's hands tumbled to the pavement and lay cracked. For a few seconds neither of them made a move toward me. They seemed pretty shocked to see me, their faces mimicked the horror that a person would have should they see a ghost. They must have known about the accident.

But suddenly, as if a mechanism and been cut free, they rushed toward me, Billy wheeling, Charlie running to me. He didn't seem to care that I was in a fragile state of wellbeing.

His arms wound firmly around me and he hugged me tightly. The tears still flew down my cheeks, dampening his black T-shirt. He didn't let me go for a long time. Just continued to hold me, not making a sound. It was Billy that pulled us apart.

" What happened?" Billy looked at me worriedly. I could tell in the way that he looked at me that he knew exactly what had happened.

I pulled away from Charlie to speak, my eyes trained on the ground, "I was singing to the radio and I got distracted and swerved off the road and into the ditch." It was the closest thing I could think of that wouldn't be a complete lie. I was singing to the radio, and the car did go into the ditch. The two events just didn't go together.

Billy nodded at me slightly, a silent appraisal.

Charlie sighed, and clung to me. "I thought I lost you again Bells. You have to be more careful."

" I know, and it takes a lot more than a car accident to take me away from you Charlie…" I smiled at him, as I had managed to cut the tears. For the time being anyway.

Slowly his death grip on me released.

"Can we go home now?"

We said goodbye to Billy and left. Charlie drove.

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><p>Colourful bits of paper littered the floor around me. Some of them held an arm, or a snippet of that beautiful bronze hair that I loved. The last, still whole picture sat atop of the box that I had hid away all that remained of my Edward.<p>

I took it into my hands and gently touched the face of the man that was next to the girl in the picture. They were lying down together in a field, it was winter, but neither seemed to notice. They were lost in each other.

The scissors spliced the picture down the middle, separating the girl from the man. I tore up the remaining pieces and dropped the remnants on the bedspread, as a sob raked my body.

I curled up into a ball and lay back against the pillows.

_What the fuck did I just do?_

As soon as I had come home from Billy's and Charlie parked in the driveway, I dashed up the stairs and pried up the board in the floorboards that I had buried every article that I had kept that related to Edward. Be it a stuffed animal to a picture, I destroyed it.

The shock of what I had done, left me impervious to heart retching sobs that practically shook the house. But no matter how painful the whole ordeal seemed to be, I knew that what I did was the right thing.

Edward wasn't good for me. Holding onto him wasn't good for me when it was plainly clear that he didn't care. He moved on…just as Rosalie had said. I just didn't want to admit to the possibility, until now.

I looked at the brightly coloured mess that coated the floor. There was the bear that Edward won me at the fair. It's snow-white fur lay in heaps, while it's hide lay twisted and broken under my desk. There was a fragment of a picture with Edward's deadly topaz eyes. In the corner, a dress shredded to bits, that I had worn to my 18th birthday. I wore it the day that everything seemed to go worn. So many memories… were gone, broken beyond repair. And I didn't care.

I felt empowered. He didn't own me anymore. These articles weren't going to hold me down. I was free. Free from the man that only a couple of days ago, I had yearned for with my whole being. He was the man that I was convinced that I loved more then life itself. But now…I felt the opposite.

Why should I love someone, who left me so broken? He was a jerk, an ass, and every bad thing in the dictionary. H left me alone in the woods, heartbroken, with not a call since then. He told me he would love me forever; forever was so short.

I felt like I lost myself when Edward left. He was so controlling that when I looked back on it, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt like I didn't know myself without Edward, that all I was, was Edward's girlfriend. And I hated that, I am so much more then a girlfriend or a mate. I have a personality, one I wasn't able to show with Edward. It made me so frustrated when I looked back on that time, like I could cry.

Why should I love someone who makes me feel like that? Why? Why, why, why? Why did he do this to me?

I lay on my bed for a long time, letting my body gradually calm down and the tears to stop and evaporate off my cheeks. All of this…just because I had finally kissed Jacob.

My mind drifted to the kiss. It felt so good, so warm and comforting.

I couldn't help but compare the two. With Edward, I felt like I was the only one that wanted it. That I had to push and that he didn't really want to kiss me, but with Jacob, it was equal. I felt wanted, loved.

Just thinking about the kiss, made my heart race, and that annoying butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling, that I secretly adored, to come.

I locked myself in my room for two days. I was shocked at the sudden turn that my mind had taken. With just a kiss, I had begun to rethink everything that I had thought I'd known.

Who did I love?

Edward? No.

Jacob? Yes.

When I thought about that question, about a week ago, I always loved Edward. But it was reversed now. I loved Jacob, I loved Jacob, I loved Jacob. I kept repeating those 3 words in my head and out loud, each time that I said it, the more sure that I was about them.

It was true. I loved him. He made me happy, he made me smile, he made everything seem better…and this was before the kiss.

When he kissed me, everything just seemed right. Like we fit together in an unimaginable way. Maybe I had loved him before the kiss, but those feelings intensified to a love that felt so strong.

On my own will, after 2 days had passed in the confines of my room, I left.

It seemed like my hands had a mind of their own, as I drove the car back down La Push road. It took a lot of convincing to get Charlie to let me drive.

Billy answered the door, with a smile that said he was happy to see me, "Bella. Come in"

I walked past him and stood in the foyer of the small house. I was surprised at how clean the house was for two grown men. Everything was in its place, part from a few items strewn around. It certainly wasn't to my level of clean, but it was remarkably good, for men.

"Is Jacob home…?" I looked around. I already knew the answer before Billy even opened his mouth. The house was way to small to hide a boy like Jacob. I'd be able to hear him, or see him from the moment I walked in the door and so could he.

"He's at First Beach with some of his friends. You can go if you'd like. He wouldn't mind." He said with a smile.

I nodded and walked through the house to the backdoor and opened it. I walked out into the backyard and down the path that led to the beach. I'd walked this path so many times as a kid, that I knew it off by heart.

A few hungry squirrels pattered in the woods next to the path. I watched them scurry agilely over the logs and up into trees. I wished I had that kind of gracefulness and as if on cue my foot caught on a stray stump and I tripped.

Instead of the damp earth between my fingertips as I expected when I fell, I was met with a warm body.

Jacob.

He put me back onto my feet and looked down at me. Strands of sodden hair clung to his face and his wet shorts dribbled droplets of water down onto my toes. He was wet; soaking wet and shirtless.

I blushed and let go of him. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"Don't mention it," He chuckled, "What are you doing out in the woods?"

"Just looking for you," I replied, as I looked up at him with a smile etched on my face.

"You were? What did you want me for?" He smiled back, a sunny Jacob smile that always made me happy.

I pondered my answer, until a boy appeared in the path and next to Jacob. He was the same as Jacob. Wet and shirtless.

The boy punched him in the shoulder, "Hey! Is this your im-" Jacob cut him off with a wave of his hand, "-patient…uhh…Hi!"

Jacob rolled his eyes, " Bella, this is Quil, do you remember him?"

"Not really, I admitted. I did remember him to be truthful, though he didn't look anything like my mental picture.

Quil gasped, "Me! You don't remember me!"

I giggled at his expression, "No, sorry."

Quil smiled and patted my hair, before Jacob could yank him away, " Don't worry! I remember you."

"Oh, that doesn't make me feel bad at all," I mumbled, while Jacob laughed.

Quil grinned.

"Why are you both all wet?"

They exchanged a glance, and Quil spoke up, "Cliff-diving. It's super fun. Wanna join us Izzy?"

Nobody ever called me Izzy. Without a second thought I agreed.

Jacob smiled and took my hand, pulling me off the path and onto the beach. His hand on mine immediately made my palm sweaty. I hoped he wouldn't notice.

We walked down a path, hand in hand. After a few minutes we stopped. We were atop of a huge cliff, the crashing waves about several yards below us. The roaring wind mixed with sea mist, felt refreshing and it made me feel alive.

Jacob turned to face me, "Ok, when you jump make sure to just jump. Leave the fancy tricks to the professionals. When you're about to break the water, don't keep your legs straight and don't go head first." He looked at me pointedly.

I giggled, "Don't worry, I'll let you be the showoff." I walked to the very edge of the cliff. It was a sharp incline, about 50 feet down. Rocks littered the very base of the cliff; I'd have to jump to get over them.

I wasn't afraid of heights, but I did hesitate for a few seconds. My heart hammered in my chest, before I jumped.

The rush of cold air on my skin was exhilarating. It was an instant adrenaline rush.

Jacob wolf-whistled from above, and I couldn't help but scream with joy. I'd never done anything before that was remotely this dangerous and I liked it. It made me feel like a kid, and I was able to let go and have fun, something that I had never been able to do with Edward. He'd be too worried about my safety.

I hadn't even told Jacob, that I thought I loved him, yet. It would be a good relationship, I could tell. It would be fun, and carefree. Just like Jacob.

I met the chill water with a crash. I sank beneath the waves and tumbled over with the currents. The strong currents pulled me down, but I fought against them and pulled myself up. The waves, feet high, obstructed my view of the beach. I swam in the direction that I thought was right, while Jacob cheered above me and Quil cheered off to my right. I followed the sound of his voice and was met with the spongy texture of sand beneath my feet after only a couple of minutes.

I was smiling so widely by the time that Quil grabbed my forearm and dragged me out of the water.

"Cold?" He asked when I was on the beach, teeth chattering and shivering. I was cold and I usually hated the cold, but I didn't want that feeling to end.

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><p><em><strong>~Missy! Big breakthrough for Bella, don't you think? :)<strong>_


	18. Given Grace

_**HEY! New Chapter :P This chapter is kind of a set up for future chapters, so I hope you guys don't think it's too painfully boring. It's long :D So that's why it took me so long to write because I did a whole bunch of editing and thesaurus stuff :P Yeah so enjoy! :D**_

_**PS: Since this is set in Washington, that means that Bella would not have any kind of Canadian manurisms. So please, if you could review and tell me if I am using any kind of Canadian slang that I am unaware of, please tell me. That would be much appreciated! **_

_**R&R!**_

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><p>18. Given Grace<p>

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><p><em>I know that I'm not perfect, but I keep trying<em>

_Cause that's what I said I would do from the start_

_I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave_

_Was it something I said or just my personality?_

_~Perfect; Hedley_

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><p>The alarm blared loudly, jerking me awake.<p>

Groggily, I reached out and slapped the annoying piece of plastic until I hit the snooze button, without opening my eyes. It shut up promptly.

I snuggled back into plush pillows savoring the warmth that surged from them and relaxed each and every one of my taut muscles. The position was so comfy. The springs were in perfect alignment, and my pillow in just the right angle to support my neck most comfortably. Just 5 more minutes, that's all I wanted.

I could hear Charlie's padded footsteps stroll to the closed door of my room. For a few minutes he waited there. The creak of the loose floorboard directly outside my door moaned as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. The sound was more bothersome then a sharp fingernail being dragged down a chalkboard.

"Bella?" He called through the closed door.

I groaned in reaction, turned the pillow to the cold side, and enclosed it around my head. I hoped it replicate the comfortable position on my stomach. No such luck.

"Bella…you have school today," He said more urgently, "You decent?" The doorknob slowly turned and the door scraped open.

I turned over and forced my tightly screwed shut-eyes to open. Light poured in through the slit in the door, partially blinding me for a few moments. When my eyes finally adjusted to the light, I could see that Charlie wasn't in the room.

In the corner, a black shape prevented the light to penetrate the room. A sock, Charlie's sock; he was directly outside the door.

He explained to me once that he was constantly fearful that I would be in a state of undress at the precise moment he walked in. I assured him that I would always lock the door when I would change, or he could simply knock and ask. Yet he still takes extra precaution before opening my door or any door that I may be behind for that matter.

"Yes," I whined.

The door scraped open further and he peaked before walking in after he seen that I was in-fact dressed. His unruly curls in disarray, framed his tired looking face. The alarm clock read 6:30, but he was surely up for a considerable time before, "Didn't your alarm go off?" He asked with a hint of annoyance.

At that exact moment the snooze button lost it's affect and the annoying, bleak tones started again.

"Guess so." He chuckled.

Again, I slapped the alarm clock until it went silent.

He strode over to my bedside and pressed a button on the side of the clock, "You have to shut it off, not just keep hitting the snooze button."

I flashed a quick smile in his direction and sat up. My t-shirt rode up around my belly button and I hurriedly yanked it down before Charlie could see and vow to never come in my room again.

"Oh…right."

He cracked a small smile, "I made you breakfast."

"You did?" I don't think he'd ever made me breakfast before, ever. He didn't enjoy cooking. The only time he did cook was to make his famous fish fry. I did the cooking in the house. I still don't understand how he managed to live so long on his own, "It's not fish fry is it?"

"No. It's a bowl of cereal with orange juice on the side."

Ah, that made sense, "Sounds delicious, thanks Charlie."

He nodded once and left the room. The door clicked closed behind him. Down the hallway, he entered his bedroom.

I peeled back the covers and swung my legs out of the luxury of comfort that was my bed and onto the cold unrelenting ground.

Oh, school, how I love thee.

I walked down the stairs after a few minutes of stalling.

Just like Charlie had promised, a bowl of cereal and a tall glass of orange juice lay waiting for me. Charlie sat at the spot next to my usual chair, drinking a mug of coffee while reading the newspaper. His hair was combed and he wore his uniform; he had work today.

We sat together for a few moments in comfortable silence. He put the newspaper down. The headline, 'TWO MORE BODIES FOUND IN SEATTLE NEIGHBOREHOOD', graced the front cover. I skimmed the paragraphs, not actually reading, just looking. I never understood why everything in the newspaper had to be depressing.

"First day back at school."

I nodded, even though it wasn't really a question and swallowed a mouthful of cereal, "Yeah."

"Excited?"

I looked at him, "Absolutely not. Everybody's going to be asking where I was. I might as well hand out papers detailing what happened to everyone who asks," I swirled some of the cereal around in the milk, "Why do I have to go back anyway?"

It was May 8th. There was only a month left of school and I had missed about 2 months. It would, without a doubt, be impossible for me to catch up with only a month left of school. I'd have to take summer school, or just repeat 12th grade.

Of course, the last year of my high school career and I would have to repeat it. I wouldn't be able to graduate with my classmates. Why couldn't I just go back to school in September? I'd be less humiliating that way. At least then I could pretend I was the new girl. But even that plan was flawed. Everyone in the school was likely to have heard that Bella Swan almost died so she had to miss school for 2 months. It would be the most interesting gossip since Mr. McMally's cat ran away and got hit by a car.

"Something to do. I don't want you to stay at home doing nothing for another 3 months."

"I wouldn't be doing nothing if I went to summer school." I answered.

He shook his head, "I talked to your principal while you were in the hospital. Unfortunately, the summer classes won't be enough time to repeat your required courses."

"Wonderful," I mumbled while slamming my spoon down into my bowl irritably. Milk droplets flew out of the bowl and sprayed the surrounding area. I humbly mopped it up with my sleeve.

I could feel his eyes on me, "I know that it sucks…but there's not much we can do Bella."

I nodded and looked up at him, "I know," I sighed and took the empty bowl and glass to the sink and set them inside. I walked back and picked up Charlie's empty mug.

Just as I was about to put the mug in the sink, the phone rang. The sudden sound scared me so badly that the slick handle jerked out of my grasp and hit the side of the counter. Upon impact it shattered.

Charlie chuckled from his spot at the table, "Oh Bella."

I tried to glare at him, but it came out as a crooked grin. I picked up the phone and looked at the number that flashed on the little screen. Jake. Eagerly, I answered it. I still hadn't told him that I thought I loved him. I chickened out each time that I tried. Maybe this would be the time to tell him.

"Hello?"

Nope, couldn't do it.

"Bella," his husky voice asked from the other line. It sounded like he just woke up.

"Yeah it's me," I smiled into the phone and leaned back on the counter.

I could hear the grin in his voice as he spoke, "Good. I was just calling to ask you what you were doing today."

"Oh…" I sighed. "I have school." Charlie waved to me as he walked out the door and, I waved back.

"Damn." He sounded actually sounded disappointed, "I wanted to show you something."

"Can it wait until after school?" I bent down and started to gather the broken ceramic pieces that were once the coffee mug.

"Yeah of course."

"Great! See you then." One of the pieces broke at a sharp angle. When I went to pick it up, the point rammed into my finger and sliced it open. I cursed.

"Bella! Are you ok?" He asked, seemingly out of breath. It sounded like he was in pain, like I was.

"Just a cut, I'm fine. See you after school." I put my finger to my lips and the rusty taste of blood enveloped my mouth.

"It's just-…never mind. Bye Bella." His tone wasn't as happy as it had once been. I guess cutting myself had made him upset.

"Bye Jake." He coughed into the receiver and hung up.

I put the phone back into the cradle and walked up the stairs to the bathroom. I wrapped a purple Band-Aid around the tip of my finger, over the cut and for the first time looked into the mirror.

My skin was a sickly pale colour and my eyes a dull, flat brown. My hair lay limply over my shoulders. I just looked…boring.

I sighed at my reflection and took out the straightner. Maybe if I made some of the wavy curls that adorned my head straight, I would look better.

I tried it. Better.

Maybe a little bit of blush would make me look less sickly. I dug around in the makeup bag Alice had given me and brushed some of the bright muted pink colour onto the apples of my cheeks.

Much better.

I looked actually kind of pretty. I smiled at my reflection and went to my room.

My closets contents were a giant…clusterfuck.

All of my clothes hung haphazardly off the hangers; jeans that usually sat in neat rows at the bottom were unfolded and dashed around the small closet space.

I stared at the mess in confusion. Either I had been so tired last night when I picked out my pajama's that I did that, or Charlie some how needed something that was in my closet and the only way to get to it was it destroy the contents.

I sighed and sifted through the contents.

_Where was my red pullover? _

It wasn't there. I looked around for it. Under the bed, in the laundry bin, in a drawer I searched to no avail.

Odd. I wore a blue one instead.

* * *

><p>The Chevy's engine idled in the parking space while I tried to remember what class I had first. It was cold and raining out, just like it always was. I was thankful my truck had a radiator.<p>

Science first?

No that was second.

I gave up, took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the new truck that Charlie had bought me from the local dump. He said it was in perfect condition, apart from the dent in the bed. The only reason why it was going to the dump in the first place was because nobody could sell it.

It was a 1987 Chevrolet Silverado 1500 Regular Cab truck. It had a vintage aurora to it, even tough it couldn't be considered vintage yet. I liked it, but I liked my old truck better. It wasn't beautiful, it wasn't expensive, but it was defiantly number 2 on the most thoughtful gestures Charlie had ever done for me list. Number one was buying the truck that Jake had fixed up.

I still loved that truck.

The sudden cold caused an unpleasant shiver to run up my spine.

I pulled my hoodie over my head and looked down at the ground as I walked to shield my face from the pelting rain. I held my binder close to my chest and held onto my book bag with one hand.

As soon as I walked into the school a course of 'Bella's back', 'Hi Bella' "What happened Bella's' met my ears. I smiled at each person who said it and nodded a bit.

I hated all the attention and the whole school was focused on me, just my luck.

"Bella! Nice to see you back. Hope you're feeling better," Came a voice from beside me. It was Eric. He lifted the book bag off of my shoulder and slung it over his shoulder before I could protest. He gently grabbed onto my arm and dragged me away from the ogling people.

He pulled me to the cafeteria, where Jessica, Mike, Lauren and Angela were gathered before class.

Jessica was at the head of the table, her long brown hair pulled away from her face with a poke-a-dotted headband. Lauren sat beside her, decked out with jewelry and fancy clothes that obviously didn't belong on a girl that had to walk through mud to just get to her car; I guess since Rosalie was gone, she could be the pretty blonde. Mike and Angela sat beside the two girls. Both were focused on anything other then the girls that were deep into conversation about.

Eric slunk into his spot beside Mike and pulled out the chair next to his for me to sit at. It was obviously an attempt to be a 'gentlemen', so I accepted it graciously.

When Jessica saw me, she stopped the conversation she was having, perked up, and squealed, "BELLA!"

I grinned, and waved, "Jessica!"

Angela grinned, Mike looked like he was about to fall out of his chair, Lauren glared and Eric, from beside me beamed at seeing me first.

"Bella!" Lauren piped up, "You look…eh." She looked me up and down and focused on my face, " Attempted to wear makeup I see." She smirked.

My cheeks reddened. Barely 10 minutes into my first day back in months and she was already looking for ways to humiliate me. I didn't need any of her shit, "Nice to see you too Lauren. Nice hair cut," I said with a fake smile.

She reached up and patted the jagged ends of her bangs that had once sat in a neat row. She scowled, her expression deadly.

Pay back's a bitch.

Across the table, the corners of Angela's mouth pulled upward into a small smile. She covered it with her hand and shook her head back and forth, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Where the hell have you been? I thought you were dead!" Jessica practically screamed, oblivious to the obvious tension between Lauren and I. Of course she was just being overdramatic like usual. She had heard what happened. If Eric had, then she had.

I smiled, "Not quite, I did have a near death experience though." I had forgotten my story. I hoped that would satisfy her.

She seemed eager to spread gossip so she simply nodded, " Ohmigod. You missed _so _much. Eric and Katie broke up and so did Angela and Ben." She flicked her eyes to Eric and Angela, offering an apologetic smile to each of them,

"I swear I thought I seen you making out in the hallway."

Angela just simply shook her head. "Whatever, I was going to break up with him anyway."

I certainly didn't understand why they were friends.

"Me too!" Said Eric, grinning at me from his spot next to mine, "I was going to break up with her too."

I smiled back at him. He probably wasn't.

Lauren rested her tanned elbows on the table and leaned forward, " There's also some weird new girl that transferred here. I tried to talk to her, but she kept stuttering and wouldn't talk. Kind of like you actually. Maybe you'd like her!"

I ignored her comment and Angela spoke up, "She's really nice I spoke to her an-"

Jessica cut her off, "In gym class we were playing volleyball and it was her turn to serve the ball and she hit it right into Lauren's head!" She burst out laughing.

Lauren laughed too, "You should have seen her face! She looked like she was about to cry. Funniest thing ever."

Angela just stared at them, "Bella."

Lauren was still laughing, her vivid blue eyes were giddy with excitement as she gushed to Jessica, "Did you see her try to apologize to me? She couldn't even say my name she was stuttering so badly. I mean, come on! Lauren. Is she stupid or something?"

I looked at Angela who repeated my name. She stood up and gestured for me to follow her. I did. Mike stared after us.

She led me around tables and groups of huddled teenagers to the far corner of the cafeteria. It was one of the only spots in the entire café that was easily accessible, but could also see the entire floor of the cafeteria. She scanned the length of the room, until her eyes finally rested on a table in front of the large glass windows across the cafeteria from the spot at which we stood.

"That's her," She nodded her head in the table's direction, "Her name is Grace Chad. She's a grade 11 student who takes grade 12 math and practices with the grade 12-gym class. She's super sweet; she just has anxiety disorder. Of course Lauren and Jessica would make fun of her for it…"

I followed her eyes to the girl sitting by herself. She was actually extremely pretty. She had elegant blonde hair that fell to her waist, slightly curled in loose waves. She was tiny, standing at maybe 5'3 and couldn't have weighed more then 100 pounds.

Her tiny frame was bent over a book, her small bronze hand frantically scribbling things down.

"She seems nice. Let's go sit with her." I was about to go forward, but Angela's soft yet firm hand, leashed out and grabbed hold of my upper arm, halting me. I turned to her, and stared at her incomprehensibly.

Angela was biting her lip. Her grip on my arm loosened and dropped altogether. She whispered, "The others…"

I stared at her. I didn't care what the others thought. She was alone and she reminded me of myself. I sure didn't want to have people laugh at me and talk about me behind my back so why would I let people do the same thing to that poor girl, "Who cares what they think?"

She pondered that, her jaw worked. Carefully choosing her words before she spoke. Finally she nodded, "You're right. That was stupid of me."

I walked over to Grace slowly. The table, I realized the closer that I got to it, was the Cullen's. The one that they had claimed and sat at every lunch, the one that I used to be a part of.

Grace was writing down math equations from a grade 12 textbook. She looked up at me as I approached. Heavy framed glasses sat precariously on the crook of her nose. She didn't make eye contact with me, simply stared at a point on my face. Her bottom lip quivered, "I-Is t-this your spot-t?" She gathered up her books solemnly and stood up.

I shook my head wildly. "No, no! We just came to say hi." Behind me, Angela smiled warmly.

I tried to mimic her smile. I must have done a good enough imitation because Grace carefully set her books back onto the table.

"I'm G-Grace…" She looked down at her shoes as she spook. Her voice sounded fragile, like she could break if a gentle wind touched her.

"Bella, and this is Angela."

"We met. Do you remember?" Angela spoke up while shuffling her feet to stand directly beside me.

"I-I remember. Nice to meet you Bella"

"Nice to meet you too Grace. May we sit?" I asked softly.

She cleared some space at the table where papers littered the top. She gathered them up and placed them in a neat pile beside her, "Sure," She whispered.

Angela and I sat down at one of the empty chairs around the table.

It was Alice's spot. Gently I caressed the spot of the table. I missed Alice. I missed her bubbly laugh, her eccentric personality, I even missed her dressing me up like Bella Barbie. Angela caught my eye, "Are you ok?"

I nodded and smiled.

She was gone; I'd never see her again.

Grace looked between us, "Y-You don't-t have to s-stay here. You can go if-f you want-t." She looked behind her, over at the table where Jessica glowered.

Her mouth opened in a small 'o'. She bit her nails and stared down at her papers in embarrassment.

"No, we want to be here. I was just thinking about my ex-boyfriend's brothers and sisters. They used to sit at this table."

"Oh," She perked up and met my eyes. They were a sharp blue, "Did they graduate?" She again dropped her eyes, her newfound confidence starting to fade, "If-f you don't-t mind me asking."

"Of course not," I said kindly, accompanied with a smile. I liked her, she was nice like Angela had said, "My ex broke up with me and his whole family just left."

"Seriously? And you don't-t know where?" She looked at me, with interest. Her small frame hunched forward as she leaned toward me. Her thick glasses tumbled off her nose and onto the table. She blushed and picked them up. Beside her, Angela snorted.

She giggled while putting them back onto her nose, "Clumsy, clumsy."

I smiled and giggled a bit too, a soft one that I hoped she would interpret as friendly and not that I was laughing at her, "Nope, not a call since then."

"Wow that a jerk!" She slapped her tanned hand down onto the table. She looked around the room to see if anyone had heard her, "N-No offence."

"None taken. He is a jerk."

She nodded in agreement and so did Angela, "I knew I was right about having a bad feeling about those Cullen's."

"Wait-…" Grace looked at Angela, "Did you say Cullen?"

She nodded, "Uh yeah…Edward Cullen. Bella's ex."

Grace pushed her glasses further up her nose; "My mom mentioned something about the Cullen's. She looked around town for them, asked around. She was told they moved, but she didn't believe them. I guess that was true."

I nodded and looked at her curiously. Did her mother know?

The bell rang and I glanced at Grace's skin, definitely not a vampire's complexion. She glowed with a healthy tan. They were probably just patients of Carlisle, nothing suspicious about that. He was a reverend doctor. People travelled half way across the country on occasion to get his services.

Not everything involved with the Cullen's was supernatural.

"Bella, we have science remember?" Angela said while gathering her books.

It was science. I nodded, we said goodbye to Grace and went off to class.

1st and 2nd period felt like they took twice as long, but I was sure that the clock was broken in English. I was sure. The neon red hand never moved for the 10 full minutes that I stared at it. There was only 5 minutes until lunchtime and the clock was taunting me.

Class just seemed to drag on and on and on.

It was because I didn't understand a word of what they were learning. The things that Mr. Binley wrote on the board were foreign to me and therefore boring.

I looked around the room for perhaps the hundredth occasion. Every student was engaged in the lesson, their eyes were fixated on the board and they seemed to hang on his every statement. Bodies hunched forward, eyes alert and concentrated. Even Rodney in the back, who usually fell asleep during lessons, sat attentive, and engaged.

I turned back to my own notebook. He had instructed us to write down anything we found interesting about his lesson.

I didn't find anything interesting about historical literature or how 'out of his era' William Shakespeare was. Squiggly lines filled the entire space of the paper by the time the bell rang. I assembled my papers and waited until the last of the students trickled out of the classroom.

"Ms. Swan." Mr. Binley walked over to me where I was struggling with the frayed edges of loose-leaf that refused to go into the binder. He took it from me with a sigh and gently folded them and pushed them in. He handed me back the binder.

I bit my lip and stared down at my hands. He was new. The last English teacher that I had was a conceited old lady. Though she piled on the homework and always had a little snide to her speech, she liked me and I her. "Yes?"

He smiled down at me; he was at least 5'10, lanky in stature. His hair was matte brown, cropped in length and flecked with the occasional grey hairs that suggested he was about 35. He was ordinary, nothing special, but not exactly hard to look at…

And his eyes were a lethal grey. They had an intricate iris pattern, with contrasting light and dark strands. When you stared into them, the fibers seemed to swirl and move with your own. They were mysterious, beautiful and unique. I'd never seen anything like them before.

The edges of his lips curled up into a smirk and a hearty rumble echoed from his chest, "I just wanted to ask how you enjoyed my lesson?" He leaned back onto a desk, and folded his arms across his chest.

I looked down at the only paper that I had failed to grab; the one with the multitude of squiggly lines with the date scrawled in messy handwriting at the top right corner.

I picked at my nails, " Yeah, uh…it was..." I looked up at him, the smirk that he wore before, was still on his face, "Gre-…I didn't listen."

A pencil was clenched between his teeth as he folded a piece of paper and handed it to me, " I know you didn't. That," He pointed to the paper that I held awkwardly in my grasp, "is my number. I want you to call it tonight when you have time. I want to talk about this class because I know you don't understand what's going on, and you won't. So maybe if you call and we…talk, there might be something I can do for you. Got it?"

"Yeah," I unfolded it and stared at the numbers on the bright white parchment, "But why?"

"Why should I help you?" His voice went up an octave at the end with his question. His eyebrows scrunched upwards as he looked at me curiously.

I nodded.

"Because, I'm a nice guy. Now scram. I want to eat." He walked over to the door and held it open for me. I hurriedly gathered up my papers and went out the door. I gave him a shy smile when I left. He simply nodded in return.

Angela was waiting there, pressed against the brick wall that was directly outside the classroom. She took some of the stuff from me and walked with me to my locker, "What did he want?"

"He wants me to call him later." I replied. I threw the papers and books into the small cubby. Beside me, Angela picked at the shiny purple polish that coated her long nails. She sighed and smashed her head back into the lockers.

"Oh. Bella, it was awful."

"What was?" I looked at her, with a frown and gently closer the locker. She looked livid. Her mouth was a hard line, her eyes were stiff and unrelenting and her motions were exaggerated and rough.

"We had fucking co-ed gym today and were playing kick ball. It was Grace's turn to kick and stupid Harley tossed the ball so hard at her it hit her in the face. You should have heard the whole gym laugh." She shook her head, looking more and more disgusted as she talked, "She cried. She cried _a lot_ and of course Jessica and Lauren just had to laugh."

I shut the locker and stared at her. Angela had gym with Grace, Jessica and Lauren in third period, "Really?"

She nodded and stared back, "She's still in the bathroom, crying. I didn't want to check on her without you. I think she really likes you."

I smiled slightly and slung by empty bag over my shoulder and gently pulled on the light wash jean jacket that she wore over a purple tank in the direction of the gym, "I like her too."

She led and I followed her down the hallway. She walked with purpose. Her perfect hips swung back and forth as her zoomed past people and around them, down the hallway to the bathrooms next to the gym. I practically had to run to keep up with her. My pace a lope-y walk that must have looked more awkward then it felt. She pushed open the door to the girl's washroom when we got there, and marched in.

The rotten stink of unwashed bodies and old sweat enveloped my nostrils making me cringe. Forgotten clothes littered the ground, some still with fresh stains from sweat trapped in them. The overhead fluorescents were blinding, the light so artificial and over bright. The smell combined with the less then adequate lighting instantaneously gave me a pulsating headache.

But I ignored my own pain for the time being when I seen Grace. Her small body was huddled on a makeshift bench of milk crates. Her face was pressed into her drawn up knees. The golden hair that spilled over her face obstructed any view of her. Her toned bronze legs were wet with the rivers of tears that leaked from her eyes.

She was silent, eerily silent. Not a sob, or gasp came from her. She was so silent and still that I froze when I saw her. Not daring to move closer to her, in fear of what I may find.

As if on cue, she hiccupped.

"Grace…" I spoke softly, yet I still seen her toes curl back closer to her body at my voice. "It's Bella." I walked closer to her and sat down on a milk crate near her. Angela leaned back against the lockers, shaking her head with revulsion.

"I'm so stupid!" She laughed while crying. She lifted her head out of her knees and leaned back against the wall that the milk crates sat in front of. Tears traced rivers down her face, and a sob resonated from her body.

I looked at her with sympathy. People could be mean. Though everyone in Forks treated me like I was a new puppy that was interesting right now, I had no shortage of bullies and mean girls that would pick on me in Phoenix, "You're not stupid." I said sternly.

Angela huffed and shook her head again. She paced the short length of the change room. "Trust me, Grace. _They_ are the stupid ones."

She frantically smudged the lurid tears off of her face from under her intact glasses and stared up at the ceiling. Phlegm was thick in her voice when she spook, "No," she pressed, "I'm the stupid one. Why is it always me! Look at me!" She thrust a finger at her increasingly darkening, purple eye. Flecked with hues of red and brown, it would, without a doubt, be a hefty shiner that would last for weeks.

I stared at her, oblivious to the implication of the bruise.

She caught my eye through the tears and whispered, "Obviously I did something to make them hate me, and I have no idea what I even did! I'm stupid. How could I not know what I did!"

"You didn't do anything Grace. You're new, fresh meat. Just ignore them, they'll stop eventually." Angela mumbled.

"Really, Grace. Don't listen to them. They just love to make fun of people who are prettier then them. They're all jealous, and insecure."

She smiled through the tears that still poured from her bright blue eyes, "I barely even know you guys. Those people are your friends and you're being so nice to someone you just met, why?" She looked from the ceiling and into each of our eyes. Her gaze was holding, pressing, to see if there was any alternative motive. There wasn't one. We were being sincere. I really did like Grace Chad, the girl that was bullied as if she had been my friend forever.

I grinned back sincerely, "Because we're your friends," I reached out and poked her right cheek; it was something that my grandmother used to do to me. It made me laugh, I hoped it would do the same to her, "You haven't stuttered."

She giggled, like I'd hoped and lifted herself with immense effort, off of the milk crates and over to the mirror, "I only stutter around people I'm uncomfortable around. Not around friends." Her reflection beamed back at us.

Angela walked over to her and set her purse down on the slightly wet surface of the of the sink's counter, "Come on, let's fix your makeup. It's running." She wet a paper towel and handed it to Grace, who wiped the black smudges off of her eyes. Wincing only slightly when she rubbed the dark bruise under her eye.

I too, walked over to them. As Angela fixed up her makeup, I offered words of encouragement. I was incompetent in the art of makeup, while Angela was a wiz. After only a few minutes, Grace's red and splotchy face was transformed into a put together masterpiece.

She was grinning at her reflection. Her small arms wrapped around Angela and hugged her tightly. Grace walked over to me and hugged me after. "Thank you guys. So much." She pulled away, tears of happiness brimming in her eyes.

"Hey! Don't ruin my hard work!" Angela giggled to show that she was kidding.

"Fine." She blinked back her tears, "I promise that I won't let them get to me. They're all assholes anyway." She opened the bathroom door and peaked out.

"That's the spirit!" Angela and I said in near perfect unison.

We walked out of the washroom, with our heads held high. When we got to the cafeteria, Jessica and Lauren across the room at the usual table burst into high-pitched squeals of laughter, "GRACE! NICE EYE!" They screamed from the table.

Every body in the café stopped their conversations and stared at the girl.

Grace flinched and stopped, her newly regained confidence quickly shredding, "I-I…I can't." Her eyes were welling with fresh tears, she blinked them back in an effort to stop them, but one still slipped through. She looked at me, her eyes wide with fear and confusion.

I latched on her quickly retreating arm, "Grace, it's fine." Crimson seeped onto my cheeks. Though the attention wasn't directed at me, I was still in the spotlight and of course that simple fact was enough to make me go red in the face. I ignored the desire to run and hide and instead, mustered my best-unimpressed look and pulled Grace to the table that we had met at.

She slunk into the chair and pressed the palms of her hands to her ears. The people in the cafeteria were whooping and hollering like immature monkeys. Apparently this had been the most interesting thing that had happened all day so they were milking it for all that it was worth. Even the people that had no link to the 12th grade gym class were joining in with the laughter.

The plastic fork that she had clutched in her hand stabbed a forkful of leafy greens that she had picked up on the way to the table and shoved them into her mouth, "I thought that maybe finally I'd be able to get a boyfriend here. Guess I was wrong. That's not going to happen, boys are idiots." She looked around at the laughing boys.

"Yeah they are." Angela slapped her palm across her face and leaned it on the table with an irritated sigh. I still hadn't heard what had happened between Angela and Ben apart from the rumour that Jessica had spread about her and Eric kissing in the hallway. I was about to ask her, but stopped. This wasn't the time to ask.

"I agree. They are." I smiled at them both, "But I happen to know a couple of really great, single guys, that are hot." I added with a sly smirk.

Grace raised an eyebrow in interest, "Where are you hiding them Bella?" She looked under the table.

"Yeah where!" Angela perked up and batted her eyelashes at me.

I laughed, "La Push!" I knew that Jake had some single best friends.

"La Push…my mom told me to stay away from there." Grace sighed and stabbed her fork into plate of greens once more

"Aw, come on! They're all super nice. I'm going there after school to meet up with my bo-" I didn't know what to call Jake, "-friend, my friend. You guys wanna come?"

Angela nodded enthusiastically. Grace continued to stare at her salad.

"Grace? It'll be fun." I drew out the word fun.

"Ok fine! If they are really great, I'll take your word on it. I would really like to meet a nice guy. Mom told me to meet new friends anyway. Who cares if they're from La Push!"

"Great!" I grinned at my new friend and ate with them in comfortable silence. I was excited to introduce them to Jake and also excited for Jake to introduce them to some of the other guys. However, I was most excited for whatever Jake had to show me after school. 3 hours could not possibly go any slower.

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><p><em><strong>~Missy :D<strong>_


	19. Living Nightmares

_**Set in stone story line for this story :) Is going to be about 35 or so chapters long. Keep reading, and Review please? If you want…I won't hunt you down or anything…well we'll see. **__  
><em>

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><p>19. Living Nightmares<p>

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><p><em>Stalks of light come from the ground<em>

_When I cry there isn't a sound _

_All my feelin's cannot be held _

_I'm happy in my new strange world_

_Shades of green grasses twins _

_Girl's drinkin' plasma wine _

_A look at love, a dream unfolds _

_Livin' here you'll never grow old, ooh yeah_

_-Strange World; Iron Maiden_

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><p><em>An ocean of trees stared back at me; a wall of never ending green in a multitude of tones. There were brilliant emerald greens, which were the loopy vines, newly birthed weeds in a mellow mint, and dark, foreboding phthalo green of budding pine needles. <em>

_Usually they meshed together into a complimentary pine green color, but today, each color was distinct and threatening. _

_Very threatening. _

_The trees, each with their large circular eyes pierced my soul with each passing moment, and the rustles of swaying leaves in the wind, sounded like hungry cackles. _

_I walked through the trees undeterred. My feet never stopped on the moist skin of the earth that I crossed with my trek. Each movement was soft and silent. Not a crunch or a snap of broken twigs met my alert senses from beneath my feet. The only thing that could be heard was my shallow breath, the cackling leaves, and the moan of the hungry creatures in the distance. _

_The sun was beginning to set. Warm rays peaked from behind the dark grey clouds and the forest blazed with glowing embers of sunlight. The sinister semblance disappeared instantly, and was replaced with one of joy. _

_Sparrow's night calls danced in the cooling air. The patter of their wings against the tips of the chartreuse leaves echoed above my head. A smile appeared on my face and I slowed down to enjoy the beauty. _

_The fiery light gradually dispersed as it moved toward the western horizon –back behind the heavy blanket of clouds. Eventually the forest was thrust into darkness. The sparrow's calls dwindled and stopped altogether to be replaced by the groans of owls. The wolves in the distance began their prowls and their lonely howls pierced the thick cover of darkness like a knife. _

_Suddenly, the thud of their paws was directly behind me. I acted on instinct, picked up my pace, and flew through the trees. The thick shadows blocked my sense of direction, but I just kept moving. _

_Unfortunately, no longer were my footfalls silent, but crashing. Every step managed to destroy a twig, break a dried leaf; all alerting the pack of wild animals to my whereabouts. _

_They seemed to be gaining on me though they were still far in the distance. Their howls became more consistent in frequency, intense in volume. They had begun to snarl, the sounds long and feral with stark, animalistic desire. _

_The hammering of their feet grew louder. The lead one, threw its head back and yowled, making the others yowl in return. I pushed myself harder; the wind struck my face with its whippy appendages. I screwed my eyes tightly closed even though it meant that I would become completely blind. _

_The lead wolves hot breath was at my neck, it sent unpleasant shivers down my spine. I screamed in absolute terror and charged onward. But with each increasingly desperate stride, the pack remained its position. I could feel it's scratchy whiskers brush across my neck, its stale breath stunk like mold, and it's incredible heat radiated my body. _

_The soaring wind howled in my face, mimicking the hungry noises that the pack made. They ached for my blood, my flesh in its canines. _

_A pale hand, gleaming in the moonlight, struck forth from the shroud of ferns on my left, and latched onto my weakening body. Its powerful muscles lurched me into the deep forest, and it covered my body with its own immense one. The hand that was pressed across my cheek was cold. It was comforting. _

_The packs paws thudded on the ground directly in front of the bush where we lay. They were pacing, their damp snouts were pressed to the ground searching for my scent. My heart hammered hard in my chest. So loud, I was sure that it would alert the wolves. _

_The savior's voice rumbled deep in his throat as he growled. The sound rustled the leans on the fern bush. I cowered into him, afraid of the sounds me made, but more so of the wolves. _

_The light grumbles from the bunch changed into soft whines. They scurried off in the opposite direction, all except one. _

_From a spot between the leaves, one wolf, in a beautiful russet colour, stood it's ground. Its powerful hunches sat taut against the brown dirt, it's piercing coal black eyes stared into my own. I knew instantly that he wouldn't hurt me. He would never hurt me, the beautiful russet wolf. I could tell, by the look in his luminous eyes, that he loved me. _

_The being that was perched above me, stood and gently pulled me to my feet. I brushed off the specks of dirt that covered my clothes, while I searched for the wolf that had been looking at me. He was nowhere to be seen. Only the leaves, where the rest of his pack had taken off, swayed with his passage. _

_He reached out and stroked the line of flesh on my jaw. With a sharp fingernail, he tenderly pulled my chin up to look into his eyes. _

_I stared into them, getting lost in the warm caramel. The flecks of bright gold sang with passion as he stared at me. His thin lips pulled into a delicious crooked smile that made my heart flutter. _

"_Bella," He breathed, cool against my skin. He was standing right in front of me, his cold finger still tracing my jaw. _

_I whispered back, but my voice became lost in the wind. Entranced by the melodic touches, my eyelids fluttered closed and became heavy with impending sleep. _

"_I love you." His voice was thick with lust. His tracing never stopped, but increased in softness. Tinkles swept through my body, through my vines, to my soul. I relaxed into him, aching for the beautiful coolness of his body against mine. My needs were met, as his other hand stroked the bare skin of my arms. _

_I opened my eyes to smile at him, but he was gone. I turned around swiftly. _

_I had momentarily gained a false sense of ease, but once he had left, the forest became surreal again. The shadows of the trees were ghostly, the moans of the owls celestial. I searched for him in the thick threes, to no avail. I wadded to a small clearing and lowered my self onto the wet grass. My head sunk into my knees, protecting myself from the forest around me. _

_The crunch of a twig behind me made me turn around. The wolf was back, standing tall on his paws. _

_I walked over to him and gently touched his moist muzzle. It twitched under the pad of my pointer finger, and his bright pink tongue lapped my curled fist. I giggled at the feeling and once again felt a surge of tinkles through my body. This one was stronger, the feeling crushing and powerful. My knees buckled, but the wolf had moved closer so that I fell against him. _

_His tongue moved rhythmically against the skin of my wrist. My fingers tangled into his soft fur, getting lost in the bounties of it. I pulled myself back to my feet and looked down into the wolves' dark brown –almost black eyes. They shone in the ample lighting from the high moon. The trees were much more scarce here. _

_His black lips curved upward into a delightful smile. He nuzzled my side, and I petted the top of his head in thanks. _

"_Jacob." Called a voice from deep within the forest. _

_The wolf turned around, and looked into the forest snarling. _

_The voice chuckled and Edward brushed through the thick plants. He stopped at the edge of the forest, "No need to get snippy with me." _

_Wolf Jacob charged at him. The dirt flew up in the places where his paws hit the ground, spraying it a shower of brown all around. His powerful hind muscles powered him upward and he lunged onto Edward, sinking his dangerously sharp nails deep within his flesh. They sank through it, like a butter knife in butter. Edward fell to the ground, Jacob on top of him. _

_At that moment, it seemed as though Jacob was about to kill him, but quickly the tables turned. Edward was on top of Jacob, his hands on his throat. He hung limply and very nakedly in Edward's arms. Jacob had phased back, and was clawing at Edward. His face became an unhealthy purple as he struggled to take a breath through his clasped closed throat._

_Edward's face had twisted into a sinister smirk. He seemed to enjoy torturing Jacob in this manner. _

_Distorted, monstrous, and deadly. _

_I wanted to run to Jacob, to free him from this beast that was hell-bent on hurting him, but my feet had became paralyzed. I tried to scream at him, but my breath left me with a puff of air. Not a sound._

_I stared in horror, as that was all I was able to do. _

_His eyes clicked closed, and his final remaining breath that he had been hanging onto, left him. Edward released Jacob and he fell to the ground with a sickening thud. _

_He stood up, and offered another beautiful crooked smile in my direction. A stunning woman, with amber brown hair that fell down her back like a waterfall, appeared next to him. She smiled at me, one that did not show the tips of her bright white teeth. Her crimson eyes glowed like red orbs in her skull. They walked out of the clearing and disappeared into the night. _

_Then the screaming started. _

I woke myself up with my own screaming. The memory of the dream faded and left my consciousness. I rubbed my eyes and leaned back in the trucks cab. My heart still pounded in my chest, like the echo of a thousand drums beating simultaneously.

I had skipped last period; history, and had went to the truck to wait for Angela and Grace to come from their classes. Apparently I had fallen asleep.

I glanced at the clock, glowing on the dashboard. '3:00' it read. School ended at 3:05.

I tided my hair and waited patiently. The dream had faded completely from my memory. I was not sure what or why, I had woken myself with the petrified screaming. Though nightmares had been quite frequent, I had not had a dream like that in quite some time.

I tapped my fingers against the wheel of the truck, caressing the smooth, worn leather. The school parking lot was certainly eerie without the usual chatter of students.

I glanced at the neon numbers once more, 3:05 they read.

The second the bell ran, the front doors swung open, and the students poured out into the parking lot. The babbling was immense. It interrupted the bird's harmonious calls.

Angela's light brown head bobbed down the cobblestone steps, a short while after the first wave of students. Her wide mouth took up the entire lower portion of her face as she laughed with delight. Grace was right behind her, her face radiating with childlike excitement.

They perched at the end of the steps. Angela's colossal stature towered about a head over Grace. They looked odd, with their drastically different heights, yet you could tell by the smiles on each girl's face that height did not matter. They had grown close over the span of the day.

Her fingers flew over the keypad of her cell-phone. Beside me, my own phone buzzed with a text message.

I read it and stepped out of the car onto the ground and waved to the pair. Grace saw me and slapped Angela lightly on the back. Her head popped up in annoyance; she had been watching her phone intently.

She grinned and ran over to me. I thrust my hands in my pockets and smiled back. I waited in the car for them.

Grace was the first one there; she climbed into the truck beside me. Angela got in after and closed the door behind her.

"Bella! Where were you? We waited in the hall outside the class room for you."

I looked over at them, and started the car, "I didn't go to last period."

"Why not?!" Grace seemed literally dumbfounded.

I grinned in response.

"When did you get so badass?" Murmured Angela as she clipped her seat beat in.

"Almost dying does that, you know?" I backed out of the parking lot with a roll of my eyes, "Nah, just didn't feel the need to. I'm not going to graduate anyway."

"Fair enough."

"At least you understand, Chr-"

"Wait! Bella?" Grace interrupted, and then blushed profusely.

Angela and I, both looked at her with full attention. She was biting her lip –more like gnawing on it.

"Would you mind if we just stopped over at my house? Mom needs to talk to me real quick." She waved her phone.

I nodded and smiled genuinely, "Of course, where do you live?"

* * *

><p>As it turned out, Grace lived in the largest house in Forks. Situated deep within the forest atop a small, natural hill, sat Grace's house.<p>

It appeared to be taken directly from a storey-book. A highly slopped driveway greeted you around a curvy corner. Its pebbled surface sparkled in the streetlights lining it. The puddles of light guided us to the very top of the driveway where it leveled off.

The freshly trimmed grass shimmered with droplets of rain that dripped from the very over-cast sky. Perfectly square hedges boxed in the three-story house. It appeared as if workers prepared the house. A small house, mimicking the main one was perched in the middle of the lawn surrounded by a cluster of trees. It was presumably a guesthouse –most likely for the help that worked there.

It was all very tranquil, undisturbed and clean. It suited Grace's personality –or what I knew of it so far, very nicely. Most likely her family's as well.

Grace leaped from the truck as soon as I parked and jogged up to the very wide, glass door. Her bronzed knuckle knocked upon the plane of whitewashed wood beside it. Angela and I followed suit; walked to the door and stood directly behind her.

She waited patiently, not a word uttered from her satin lips. It took a few moments for her knocks to be answered.

The most beautiful women I had ever seen in my life answered the door. Her skin was as white as snow, the expensive looking clothes, in silk and cashmere draped across her in a way that looked breathlessly effortlessly, but by the look of her persona most likely took and immense amount of time to assemble into decency.

"Grace." When she spook it was as smooth as her silk clothes. Her honey sounding voice breathed an air of superiority. It mingled with my senses, making me feel calm and relaxed by just her voice. Instantaneously, I was jealous of this seemingly perfect woman.

I looked to Angela, who seemed to be caught in the same wave of bewilderment and awe as I was. Grace, however, by the tap of her foot and her clipped voice, appeared unaffected, "What did you want mother?" She pushed on the door that the woman held barely open. It screeched, and the woman disappeared inside.

Grace waved us in and bolted the door behind us once inside. "Don't take what she says to heart, she's really missing my father. He disappeared a couple of nights ago." She whispered to us, while she dropped her bag adorned with multicolored C's onto the brass seat near the door.

Angela frowned. I could tell by the look on her face that she wanted to know what happened, I did too, but we both knew not to ask. Instead, she dropped her bag down quietly; I had left mine in my truck so I slipped off my shoes instead.

"Of course, but I'm sure it will be fine." Angela offered sincerely, once she had straightened.

I nodded along in agreement with her.

Grace's mom reappeared in the beautiful foyer of her home. She tapped her bare feet, dusted with a pearl pink nail polish on the gold tiles, "Grace? Would you care to introduce me to your…friends?" Her sunglass-ed eyes, swept over us.

Grace swallowed deeply, suddenly nervous, "S-Sorry…this is Angela." Angela smiled warmly, "And this is Bella."

I smiled small-y and blushed a little. I cursed myself for appearing so fragile in comparison to this strong looking woman. In an effort to redeem myself, I straightened my posture and said,

"Bella Swan, nice to meet you Grace's mom." I offered out my hand and plastered my best smile to my face.

Instead of taking my hand, she slipped off the heavy glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. She brought a glass of thick looking red wine to her lips and swirled it around on her tongue, "Bella Swan, eh?"

Immediately, I dropped my hand and felt my face drop open in fear.

Her blood-red eyes stared into my own, and her pointy lips pulled into a feline like smirk, "My husband Jamison has told me much about you. Tell those wolves of yours, I say hi."

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><p><em><strong>Missy~<strong>_


	20. Keys

_**I changed the title because I realized that calling a story Romeo and Juliet, should mean that the plots are similar. My story is in some aspects but not all so I changed the title. Because though, that this story still is inspired by R&J so the title is derived from this quote: **_

_**"But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?"**_

_**And a future small aspect that will be present in a later chapter. **_

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><p>20. Keys<p>

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><p><em>Can't you see<em>

_(That you're my lover)_

_We're meant to be,_

_(You're like no other)_

_So come with me and say you're mine_

_(Don't keep me waiting)._

_~Superluv; Shane Dawson_

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><p>The grandfather clock in the corner of the room, belted 4 long bongs into the lemony air. I continued to stare at the angelic woman standing before me. Her pale, manicured hands balanced upon her slim hips, the pointed curves of her lips were pulled up into a disturbing smirk.<p>

"I don't know what you're talking about." I murmured after a few wasted moments. My voice sounded stronger then I felt in that precise moment.

Jamison.

The vampire's wife, that had nearly killed me a few days before, stood facing me, looking substantially more lethal then he did moments before he almost murdered me. Her crimson eyes shifted into a deep black, and she licked her feline like lips hungrily.

She wasn't happy with me, evidently. But it wasn't my fault, it was his and the wolves just acted accordingly. He had crushed my car as I was driving down the highway and pulled me out of the wreck. He had thirsted for my blood and would of succeeded in killing me had the wolves not shown up. If I remembered the legends correctly, the wolves were the protectors of all humans.

However, explaining that the death of her husband was justified did not seem like a smart move on my part. It was best to play stupid and possibly make her think that I was the wrong girl that her husband had let the bloodlust succumb to.

She tsked and narrowed her eyes, the smirk still playing on her lips; "I guess I have the wrong Bella then." She turned, sharp on her heel, and marched out of the room.

"MOM!" Grace called after her, a tad flustered, "Y-You didn't tell me what you wanted to tell me."

Her marching stopped short. She stayed completely still for a few moments. So completely still it was inhuman, which was exactly what it was.

"I mean it Grace. Stay away from the wolves." Said she, her voice devoid of any emotion. She stayed poised in the same position, speaking to the white washed wall in front of her.

I had completely forgot Angela's existence, until her warm hand gripped the inside surface of my elbow. Her grip was gentle, yet firm; like her. "Bella?" She whispered to me. I looked over at her and noticed that her eyes continued to flick between the frozen woman in front of us and back to me, clearly mystified by the woman's peculiar behavior, "Grace just had to go to her room real quick. She told us to wait in the truck, did you hear?"

I hadn't.

I nodded at Angela and turned around carefully. I was afraid she would pounce on us while our backs were turned, thankfully she didn't and we made it to my truck perched on the driveway without incident. I climbed into the truck and attempted to sort the hundreds of emotions and thoughts that swirled in a whirlwind in my brain.

I focused on one that distressed me the most.

Jamison had talked about me.

Whether it is a mention or a deliberate conversation, the man who randomly appeared in my room and tried to kill me, talked about me with his wife. Jamison had been looking for the Cullens, Grace's had said her mother had looked for them to. What this had to do to with me, I didn't know. Jamison had asked me if I was a part of them, and if I knew where they went. Obviously the Cullen's had mentioned me to him.

A couple of months ago an apparition of Edward had appeared to me and said, 'Stay away from the wolves', nearly the exact same thing Grace's mom had uttered. Was there coincidence? If there was I didn't understand.

I tried to think of a plausible explanation for all of this, but I couldn't. Just thinking about it caused a tremor of anxiety to erupt inside of me for unspeakable reasons. I didn't speak a word to Angela while waiting for Grace; the trembles that coursed through my body from unease prohibited me from speech. Absolutely nothing made sense. Maybe it was the car crash, but something had defiantly tampered my ability to reason properly.

Grace appeared at Angela's side door as the clock clicked 4:00. She slid into the seat beside Angela and slammed the door behind her, "S-Sorry." She mumbled, while shaking the beads of rain from her drenched hair.

"It's ok." Angela said with a smile in her voice.

"And Bella?"

I looked toward her in response.

"I'm really sorry about my mom. My dad has been missing for a few days and she really misses him, like I said. She keeps mumbling about the wolves," She rolled her eyes, "I think she's gone crazy."

I nodded, still afraid my voice would betray me and reveal the fear that lingered deep in my soul. There was something going on that I was missing, I was sure.

The similarities between Edward and Jamison, the fact that Jamison knew them at all, knew about me, and about the James attack was beyond creepy.

"Bella, is everything ok?" Grace asked. Worry masked her voice, and she looked at me like I was a small child.

"I'm fine." I managed and started the car, "You still up for La Push?"

"Of course!" They both said in unison.

I pulled out of the driveway and drove down the familiar path to La Push.

The initial extent of the journey was silent, but quickly the unease that must have been present between all of us gradually lifted and swum out of the car and into the torrential rain that pounded down.

"Your mom looks nothing like you. She's so pale and her hair so dark… You're the exact opposite." Angela said.

"Well of course she doesn't! I'm adopted."

I looked from the clean stretch of highway to Grace, "You are?"

"Uh huh!" She mused, "Jamison and Sky, my mother, adopted me when I was 4 years old. I don't even remember my birth mother. She gave me up when I was 8 months old to the adoption agency in Canada and I lived there with no contact from her until I was adopted. " Her voice was sharp, seemingly not ashamed of her less then ordinary history, "I do wish I at least knew who my parents were, but I really do love my mom's and dad's."

"Mom's and dad's?" Angela repeated.

"They have two kids. Anne and Clyde. Instead of just being their sister, they decided that they want me to be their daughter too. I know it's kind of weird, but I really love them. And they are pretty old to. Like at least 20. Sky had them really young, she was only 16 years old."

_A coven of 4 vampires from Canada. _

Quietly I listened in; my eyes were refocused on the road ahead. _Did she know?_

"Oh. Do they all have those bright red eyes? I saw when Sky took off her sunglasses she had these stunning red eyes…maybe it was a trick of the light"

"Actually they are red, and they do all have them. I know it's weird," She laughed and it was as light as bells, "But it's just a really rare colouring. Like violet, but red."

"I wish I had red eyes…" Angela mumbled and looked in the mirror, at her dark brown eyes, "Brown is boring."

"Me to, but I guess they aren't that great after all. Anne hides them sometimes with contacts and Sky wears sunglasses all the time as you seen."

"That's true…where was Anne and Clyde? I didn't see anyone else home."

"Not sure. Clyde disappeared on the 1st of September and then we moved from Canada to Washington on the 13th. Anne disappeared on the 15th."

It was the day that Edward left me. I struggled to mask the sudden panic that coursed through my entire body. The panic sent crippling shockwaves of electricity to my brain, so hot with stark fire that I was sure it would ignite but it fizzed out before it could latch. I ignored the rest of their conversation; it would only open more doors instead of close them.

Somehow, Jamison's coven was connected to the Cullen disappearances.

Somehow.

At 4:20 Jacob's small bungalow came into view. The rain had decreased in intensity to a gentle drizzle, and the thick clouds parted to reveal a pie like section of the molten sun. It streamed from the clouds and graced the dewy grass in rivers of golden light. His house was directly under the fountain of sunrays. The effect was ethereal, but it instantly eased my mind from feral confusion to comfortable meditation.

I would be able to think about the tightly interwoven 'coincidences' later tonight. Right now, all I wanted to do was introduce the girls to the boys and maybe tell Jacob I loved him.

If I didn't chicken out.

I parked on the loose gravel and stepped out onto the crunchy earth. The rocks were a tad slippery so I took my time on crossing them. Angela and Grace stepped out of the truck and followed me to his door. They were whispering a little and giggling with excitement.

Before I could knock on the door it swung open. Jacob's hulking figure guarded the entranceway. Beads of water dribbled down the massive planes of his chest. He must have recently been outside. The forest perhaps judging by the spicy aroma of fresh pine needles that radiated from him.

I looked up into his eyes and he looked back.

His eyes were molten, brought to life by the reflection of the sun. Gold flecks danced in supreme brilliance, and the black strands wove through them in an intricate pattern. They were clear and hard, very deep. I felt like I could see for miles and miles into them. The strands pulled me in like I was standing in cement. I fell into them and in no way whatsoever could I ever pull myself out of the quicksand.

An odd fluttering erupted inside of me; so strong it was uncomfortable. I blinked and the haze that weighted my body lifted, and I felt like I could think clearly once again.

A sunny smile brightened up Jacob's face; he must have been in the fog too. He reached out a finger, about to attack my jaw with caress when he realized we were not alone. It froze and fell back in place at his side.

"Grace, Angela." I said turning to them. I still felt like I was in a daze, "This is Jacob my- Jacob."

I still wasn't sure where we stood. We'd been friends for so long, but these different feelings were brand new. I'd never loved Jacob in _that_ way, but I did now.

I think.

Angela offered a warm smile and a little wave of her hand, "Angela."

Grace's bright red face was glued to the ground at her feet.

"Jacob." He mumbled. The smile had completely disappeared from his face.

"I thought since you wanted to talk to me I'd bring them over…are your friends around?" I asked quietly.

He nodded and disappeared back into the house. The heavy work boots on his feet never made a sound.

Jacob weaved through the house with agility. There were boxes littering the walkway, and even though I managed to hit nearly every single one, he didn't even brush against one. He pulled the patio door open and walked out the door, and held it open.

6 extremely large men were seated around a warm campfire; laughing, and talking until we walked in. They hushed immediately, and the only thing that could be heard was the cackle of the campfire. All eyes were trained on us.

Sam was sitting closest to the forest. His foreboding face was pressed into a firm line; his thick russet hands braced the makeshift chair tightly, while he stared at us. He seemed angry, no- he didn't approve.

He cleared his throat and stood, the other boys looked to him immediately, including Jacob. He put down the mug of smooth brown liquid onto the dewy grass and walked silently into the forest. The muscles in his well built back, quivered beneath his skin. A man I didn't know, glared at me and vanished into the trees after him.

I could feel my cheeks warm and my mouth fall open in disbelief.

_What in the world did I do? _

Jacob gestured for us to follow him to the circled boys. Their voices were hushed, but unlike before their similar faces held grins.

"Hey, you seem sad. Tell God what's wrong!" Jared said while hitting me on the back. I stumbled, but managed to catch my footing under the force of his hit.

Jacob whirled around and growled a feral sound at Jared. He cowered back, but quickly regained his original position and grinned, "God?"

"Me!" Jared thrust a humongous finger to himself, a loopy smile was plastered crookedly across his face, "It's my new nickname right Bells? She called me that after I rescued her from the leeeaaaaa-"

The boy beside him hit him upside the head. "Idiot…" He mumbled and swung his black head of hair back and forth in shame.

Jared just laughed, "Sorry. Bella who are your friends?"

I looked behind me. I had forgotten once again about their presences, "This is Angela and Grace." I pointed to each girl in turn. Grace's face turned even redder.

"Well hello ladies." He replied with a smirk and a quick waggle of his eyebrows; they looked like furry caterpillars, "I'm Jared."

"Are you flirting?" The boy beside him inquired.

"Maybe."

"You have a girl!"

"I know, and a great one to boot." Jared said. A smile erupted on his face.

"I met her! Well kind of…" I blurted out. I was surprised by my wiliness to contribute to the conversation. It wasn't exactly me. I usually preferred to stay back and just listen, "she didn't say much. She was shy, but very nice."

Jared shifted around in his seat and directed his beady black eyes towards me. He smirked, and it showed the tips of his blazing white teeth against his red gums, "In front of others she's shy, but in bed…" He laughed, "Damn."

I blushed immediately at his openness of…intimacy. I laughed nervously along with him and the rest of the boys who were practically roaring, even Jacob.

Well, except for the boy beside him. He was quiet. His slender face stared at a point to my left, and a molten smile shined across his face. The boy's eyes were radiant; they practically glowed in the sunlight. He stood up, only beaming more with every passing second, "Hi." Said he, the smile never leaving his face. His voice was as sharp and clear as freshly cut glass.

I looked over my shoulder to see who had entered the backyard, but there were no new faces. The only ones behind me were Angela and Grace.

Grace.

She was staring back at the boy, a smile similar to his dancing across her gentle features. She was frozen solid. "Hi." She whispered, a more powerful blush darkening her features.

"I'm Embry." He walked forward with confidence until he was right in front of her. I expected her to back up, but she was steadfast. She inverted her gaze to look up into the eyes of the boy who was looking down at her with admiration? No.

Love.

Pride.

Adoration.

I was so caught up in the sudden shift in behavior these two suddenly had, that I didn't notice the roaring laughter of the teenaged boys at the mercy of a sex joke, had stopped. All eyes were directed to the couple. Their voices were hushed; punches to the shoulder were thrown and tiny smirks made random appearances on each giddy face.

A warm hand cupped the inside of my elbow and gently pulled to get my attention. I looked up into the brilliant eyes of Jacob Black. He smiled his sunny Jacob smile down at me, dazzling me for a few seconds, "I want to talk to you."

He led me into the thick underbrush of trees that were his backyard. Over fallen branches, stumps and roots, under low hanging limbs of trees, and down the slow decline of the forest's natural landscaping, Jacob led me. He was a good leader. He helped me when needed, but knew to let me have my space. I liked that. He didn't treat me like I was about to break.

After a few minutes, the steady hum of the whirling waters swam across my ears. The crash of the waves droned out the sounds of our feet, and the white caps suddenly appeared through the dense lines of trees. He swiftly jumped down a worn away section of the beach and held out a hand to help me down. It was much too steep for me to hop without smashing an ankle.

Once safely down, he plopped down onto a log that faced the waters. He patted the empty spot, brushed clear of sand for me, to sit down next to him.

"What happened back there?" I asked once seated and comfortable.

"Hm?" He looked toward me, a troubled expression glued to his facade.

"With Grace…and Embry. That was Embry right? Your old friend?" He looked nothing like I remembered. He had been nothing but a boy the last time I seen him, but he was surely a man then.

He nodded and smiled a little, "He imprinted on her."

"Like you did to me?"

"Like I did to you." He glanced down at my lips and back up into my eyes.

I swallowed and looked out to the ocean, afraid to let him kiss me and mess up like last time, "Can you explain it to me?"

He laughed, "I already did. You forget already?"

"No," I smiled up at him, "I just want to hear it again. Sorry, but it's pretty confusing."

"A wolf imprints on a girl to make him or her a stronger wolf. Well that's at least what I think; nobody knows for sure. We're connected in such a way that is stronger than anything. Our bond cannot be severed, you're my whole world and I'll be and do anything to make you happy. When you're hurt, I'm hurt, when you're sad, I'm sad." I made a mental note not to be sad anymore for his sake, "I just love you in an indescribable way."

I grinned at the sand, "You love me?"

"I loved you even before I imprinted."

I nodded in understanding. I knew he did. "Sam imprinted on Emily didn't he?"

He nodded.

"He gave her those scars didn't he?"

He nodded once more, "Yeah…shortly after he first phased he just snapped and phased to close to her. Nearly killed her, he felt awful about it. We aren't supposed to hurt our imprints."

"She really loves him though. She told me when I talked to her after the vampire nearly killed me…" I shook my head to staunch the flow of unwanted memories.

"Well of course she does. She can feel the imprint too."

Maybe that was why I suddenly developed feelings for Jacob, "He doesn't like me does he."

HE frowned and a sudden tremor coursed through his body like a current, "No. He resents you for hanging out with the Cullen boy."

I didn't really want to talk about Edward or his family so I changed the direction of conversation slightly, "Vampires are your enemies right? I remember you telling me along time about the 'cold ones'." I asked to solidify the belief that it wasn't my fault that Sky's husband died…

Well, I guess of course it wasn't. He nearly killed me. I should hate him, but somehow I felt bad for his mourning wife.

"What is this 20 questions or something?" He laughed and nodded, "Yep. We're protectors of humans. Leeches kill humans."

Leeches. I laughed at the analogy, "Sorry. Enough questions." I smiled, but it wavered, "Ok one more. You said this morning that you wanted to show me something."

He grinned and dug into his pocket and extracted a bent piece of copper from his pocket. He pried it apart, until it merged into a small bracelet. It was beautiful. The bracelet itself was interwoven strands of light and dark leather; worn with age and weather to give it a rustic feel. On it was a single charm. A russet wolf dangled from the centre of the bracelet, entirely carved from maple wood. It was stunning, fantastic and I knew just by looking at it, that it was made for me. "Jacob." I gasped, stunned by the beauty of it. "You didn't…"

He laughed and beamed at me, obviously pleased with himself. "I made it for you. I spent a couple days working on it. Do you like it?"

"I love it." I stammered, an uncanny blush seeping onto my cheeks. I brushed my wind blown hair out of my eyes and held out my left wrist for him.

He unclasped it and slipped it on my wrist.

"It's beautiful Jake."

"Kind of like you."

"Are you trying to kill me? I'm going to have no blood anywhere else in my body." I gestured to my dangerously flushed cheeks.

He laughed, "Trust me, that-"

"I think I'm in love with you." I interrupted him, but I knew it was true in that very moment. I loved him. Any uncertainty fluttered away and I had never felt so sure of something in my entire life.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Missy~<strong>_


	21. Out With The Old

21. Out With The Old

* * *

><p><em>This is my same old coat<em>

_And my same old shoes_

_I was the same old me_

_With the same old blues_

_Then you touched my life_

_Just by holding my hand_

_Now I look in the mirror_

_And see a brand new girl._

_~ Brand New Me; Dusty Springfield_

* * *

><p>He simply stared at me for a few moments. The twitter of the birds intensified the suspense…but what was I worried about? He told me himself, just then that he loved me, and yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that he'd reject me in someway.<p>

"I'm in love with you to." He mumbled, a smile erupted on his face like the bloom of yeast in warm water.

"You are?"

He chuckled. "You have a really bad memory."

"What does this make us then?"

"We could go out."

"Do you wanna go out with me?" I couldn't keep the smile out of my voice.

He laughed, and the sound was enough to cause the butterflies that were once dormant in the pit of my stomach, to flutter their obnoxious wings, "Doesn't the guy usually ask the girl out?"

"In normal relationships."

'Which we don't have right?" He turned to me, a huge grin plastered across his already sunny face.

"Not at all."

We spent a long time just hanging out on the beach. Sifting the warm sand through our fingers, drinking in the splendid colors of twilight. The warm, still molten sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. It cast long, dark shadows down the beach, and the chill of night edged in. Dewy stars twinkled high above; they shone brilliantly against the backdrop of darkness. Yet we continued to talk on.

I was getting lost in his warm, chocolate brown eyes that somehow shone in the minimal light. I wanted to stay sitting there forever; it was so peaceful, I was so content. But Jacob's warm hand pressed against my bare shoulder blade, and his whispering increased in intensity to a husky murmur, snapping us both from the dream like atmosphere.

"You're getting cold."

I had barely noticed the shiver that rampaged my body. I smiled incredulously at his angular jawbone. "I am not."

"Are to. Come on. Let's get you home." His blazing hands hauled me by my armpits into a standing position.

I groaned and sunk into him, feeling immensely intoxicated by fatigue I had blissfully ignored.

He grabbed my hand in his own, and lead me through the woods, back to his house; ignoring my groans of protests along the way.

Later that night I sat bent over my English textbook, trying to decode the language of Shakespeare to no avail.

I gave up, and slammed the book closed, the questions that we had for homework laying unanswered on the blank sheet of paper. I knew Romeo and Juliet by heart, but I was in no shape to transport my thoughts onto paper.

As a fleeting memory, I remembered that Mr. Binley had told me to call him afterschool. I jerked upright and fumbled with my phone to call the number he had given me.

Before I could do that; however, I noticed that I had a message from Angela.

_Thanks for taking me there. I had fun. _It read.

I remembered with an overwhelming amount of dread that I had completely abandoned them after meeting with Jake.

_Angela I am so sorry! I went down to the beach with Jake and got distracted. _

_No worries. Haha, I talked with Seth for a little while. Such a cute kid._ The reply came back after a few minutes.

_How'd you get home? _

_Sam drove me. Grace was nowhere to be found either. She still hasn't texted me back…do you think she's alright? I'm really worried about her. _

Grace was most likely doing the exact same thing that I was; getting lost in her imprint.

_I'm sure she's fine. Embry's a good guy._

I talked to Angela over text, for over an hour. We gushed back and forth; though I wasn't normally a 'gusher', it did feel really good for someone to listen to me talk about my sudden feelings for a guy I had thought of as my best friend for so long. Angela had nothing but nice things to say to me, which only made me, like her even more. I really loved having a friend like her in my life.

Before I could pass out, I said good-bye to Angela and phoned Mr. Binley.

The moon rays shone brightly through the window, which coated the room in soft shimmers of light. I couldn't help but think that the night was eerily similar to the instance Jamison had arrived in my room. I pushed back the unease that bubbled through me and instead dragged happy, assuring thoughts to the foremost of my brain.

"Hello?" He mumbled into the receiver at the last possible moment. Phlegm coated his voice; he was either fighting a newly surfaced cold, or eating.

"Mr. Biney it's Bella I-"

"Isn't a little late to be disturbing me?" He interrupted, his voice clear once again.

"Sorry."

"Talk."

"You told me to call you…" I mumbled, a tad confused at his short manor.

"Oh! Bella Swan," Nervous laughter cackled through the speaker, "I thought you were- someone else." He cleared his voice, "Sorry. Yes I did. I was wondering if it would be more worthwhile to complete your English course online."

Mr. Binley and I conversed back and forth for quite sometime. He suggested that since I would not be able to write the final of exam that was coming in a few weeks, I had no real worth of being in the class. He proposed, instead of wasting both of our times that I should simply get a head start for summer school through online courses. I agreed.

If it meant that I was able to get out of school an hour earlier, I was all for it. Why the option of taking the online courses for my other subjects was not available, was beyond me. I did nothing in the classes anyway.

The next few days transgress in a similar pattern; wake up, go to school, go to Jacob's with Angela and Grace, go home, go to bed.

The pattern was refreshing. It made me feel safe. Protected.

* * *

><p>With a smile on my face, I awoke to the hum of a lawn mower, some distance down the block. It was March 17th; only a couple of days until spring.<p>

I had been waking up smiling for a while.

Everything that had once weighed down my shoulders felt lifted. I wasn't so negative. My walk had more spring to it, my smile was brimming with happiness. And it wasn't just me who noticed it. Charlie had, and certainty Grace and Angela. They commented on it nearly daily. I loved feeling happy as-well. Maybe it was because of Jacob.

Angela and Grace were planning on dragging me on an all girls shopping trip to Seattle in the early afternoon. Angela had specified that it be in fact, ONLY for girls. Boys were not welcome.

Grace and I had been spending quite a few hours after school at the reservation, visiting such boys and she was getting 'sick of it'.

I got up and smeared makeup around on my face until I looked somewhat presentable. The honk of Angela's car horn, drifted up the stairs to the bathroom. Moving quickly, I threw on the clothes that were easily accessible and ran down the stairs, out into the pouring rain.

Grace was in the passenger seat already, so I climbed in the back.

"Hey Bella." Grace turned around in her seat to grin at me. " I looked online last night and found the most perfect prom dress for you. You'll love it."

"I don't get to pick my own prom dress?"

"Of course not!" She laughed.

The long ride to Port Angeles went surprisingly fast. Upbeat music blasted from the speakers, our unharmonious voices clashed with one another and sparked hysterical laughter from each of us.

We pulled onto the street that led us down into downtown Port Angeles in what seemed like minutes. Angela parked the car and smoothed out her wind blown hair.

"We're here!"

The inside of the dress shop was stuffy with mothballs and must. All of the dresses seemed like they had lived there prime, but in a vintage sort of way. They were all unique and simple, sort of like me. There were no beads, obnoxious sparkles or tulle netting. They were silky, smooth and sleek.

My fingers ran over a pretty white lace dress hanging from one of the racks in the far corner of the store. Angela and Grace were lost in the old school style wedding dresses at the front, so I was alone. I brought the number to the change room and pulled the silky material over my legs.

I stood in the mirror for quiet some time, admiring the way the draping hugged my curves, sashayed down my calves, and graced the floor. It had an open back, covered in lace, and a plunge v-neck that was sexy, without being slutty.

It was simply stunning. I'd never put on a dress that I'd instantly loved so much.

"Bella come out!" Grace's chime like voice called through the closed curtain door.

I opened it with a smile dancing across my face. "I love this." I twirled for her, loving the feeling of the dress flaring around my ankles as I did so.

She didn't say anything.

I stopped in front of her, "Don't you?" I wobbled back and forth in nude heels that I had found under the bench in the fitting room.

"Its beautiful Bella. You look like a bride. It's even better than the one I picked out!" She gasped through a mouthful of air.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face. "I'm getting this."

I took it after a long time of staring at myself in the mirror. Though it was an old dress, it represented the new, happier Bella. I made a mental note to throw away all of my black clothes once I got home. White looked so much better on me.

We left the boutique a quarter past four with three enormous garment bags stuffed beneath our arms. I had also bought the nude pair of heels I had found in the changing room.

Prom night was in a week, just a few days before finals would start and I'd be done school. I actually couldn't wait.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Missy~<strong>_


	22. A Story of a Boyfriend

_**Major Crisis in 4 chapters or so. **_

* * *

><p>22. A Story of a Boyfriend<p>

* * *

><p><em>I think of you<em>

_When the morning comes and the nighttime goes away (all day) _

_Don't you ever think that we won't be okay (no way) _

_There is nothing stopping me from loving you_

_Touching and rubbing and kissing and hugging you_

_What's this feeling taking over me_

_~I Can't Wait; Akon_

* * *

><p>The next few days felt like they were on fast forward. One minute I was preparing to start another day of monotony, the next I was in bed; the curtains lining the window pulled closed, the heaviness of night thick behind them. Every day blended together seamlessly into one huge blob. For any ordinary person it would be boring, but for me it was a chance to feel normal.<p>

The drama with mystical creatures was banished from my consciousness, and I got to experience life without them for once. I was dating a werewolf sure, but to me he was just like any other boy. We didn't talk about anything remotely unusual. It was in a sense, refreshing.

Boyfriend.

I had one.

We hadn't gone on our first date yet, but the attraction growing between us evident. It started off with chaste kisses, but quickly merged into breathless make out sessions in less than a week. It was moving quickly, but I couldn't find the strength for anything but agreement. I wanted the nearly constantly shirtless boy as much as he wanted me. Which was a lot.

For once, I was the one to stop. With Edward I was the pressing one.

Another kiss, 5 seconds longer; none of that was an issue with Jacob Black. I literally had to pry myself from his iron strong grip, and force his hot lips off of mine to breathe.

I liked that feeling; to feel wanted. Desirable.

We had only been 'dating' for a week, and although I wanted him in every possible way, I had standards.

2 more months.

Or maybe weeks…one week…after prom at the very least.

Prom was tomorrow.

Could I wait that long?

I thought of his skin on mine, the huskiness of his voice, his dark black eyes clouded in lust after he kissed me…

Dammit.

* * *

><p>Grace stood behind me, twisting a weird curling iron around my hair. When she pulled the contraption out, it fell into loose curls that draped the sides of my face and dangled down to my shoulders.<p>

She was somewhat of a hair wizard. The things she could do with simple tools were astounding. I could barely make my hair straight with a hair straightner, yet Grace managed to do things that didn't even seem physically possible. She had decided that instead of pulling my hair up into a played out bun, that she would do something aesthetically unique and appeasing. I agreed, as long as she promised not to take longer than an hour. It took some bartering until she finally agreed.

An hour and 15 minutes flew by.

I was starting to get uncomfortable. I squirmed on the wooden stool in front of her vanity and pouted at her reflection in the ornate glass. "Graceeee."

"I'm almost done! Sit still!" She hit me in the head lightly with the back of the curling iron.

"You promised it wouldn't take longer than an hour."

"Come on, its been 15 more minutes. That's nothing!" She argued with a jut of her hip.

"I'll give you 5 more minutes…and if you aren't done by then, I'm leaving."

"Oh yeah?" She grinned, "We'll see."

"Grace?" Angela asked. She was leaning against her makeup counter. Canisters of brightly coloured eyeshadows, lipsticks and eyeliners, lay patiently in her palms,"I need to do her makeup so you better hurry up!"

"Yeah, yeah." She waved her off and curled the last strand of straight hair on my head. "Done!"

Angela pried me from the stool and pushed me onto the spinning chair at her station. Moving quickly, she dabbed strange smelling things on my face. A multitude of browns were brushed on my eyelids, black eyeliner applied carefully, and a soft pink colour was dabbled upon my pouty lips.

"Do I not get to do anything to my body for prom?" I looked into Angela's angelic eyes. She did a complicated looking wing at the edges of her eyelid that looked surreal. She had ditched the glasses and put in contacts instead, which only emphasized her wide eyes even more.

"Absolutely not. You don't know how to do makeup."

"That hurts."

She laughed and brushed the bristly brush packed with brownish pink powder onto the apples of my cheeks, "You know it's true."

"Yeah, but I don't need to hear it aloud. I prefer to live in denial." I smiled, "You got back together with Ben right?"

She smiled dreamily, "I did. I managed to convince him that anything that comes out of Jessica's mouth is a lie. I would never cheat on him with Eric. I mean really."

I hadn't talked to Jessica since the first day of school, nor Lauren. They didn't like Grace, and frankly, I wasn't too crazy about them either. The teasing from the other kids had dramatically decreased in frequency though. Grace went back to school after the black eye incident, more confident than ever. She rarely even stuttered anymore. It was a miracle what good friendships could do to a person. I swore my clumsiness decreased as well, but everyone else argued that fact.

For once in my life, I was surrounded by people who genuinely cared for my well-being. It wasn't like I didn't have any friends before, I just felt like the level of friendship that I held with Grace and Angela was a notch higher than anything I had ever had before, even if I hadn't known them to a close degree for very long.

As soon as I was finished getting my makeup done, I walked to Grace's bedroom where our dresses for the evening lay on the bed. Grace was also 'invited' to the prom, as it was for the senior grades so it was essentially perfect.

I closed the frosted glass door behind me and gently pulled the silky fabric from its plastic case and pulled the gown over my legs. Once I had gotten the dress buttoned, I glanced at my reflection.

The girl in the mirror looked like a freshly birthed swan, which was fitting I suppose. Showered in crystalline light from the chandelier hanging above, she looked otherworldly. Her brown irises were intensified in colour from the thick black eyeliner, and the earthy tones of eyeshadow drew your attention to them. Brown locks, perfectly arranged and assembled, fluttered in the slight breeze from the window, making her look enchanted. And the white silk dress hugged her minimal curves in just the right away. She looked flawless, stunning, and more gorgeous than the most beautiful model on the runway.

It was I. Me. Isabella Marie Swan.

I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. I threw open the door to reveal myself, and was met with oo's and ah's from the two equally stunning girls.

Jacob would love it.

* * *

><p>Our ride to Prom wasn't anything special. We all hitched a ride in Charlie's police cruiser to be exact. Even though I told him that the Jacob Black was my date, he still felt it necessary to threaten him with the reminder that he was the sheriff and could and would, arrest him if the situation arose, regardless of how close they were.<p>

The sun was just beginning to fall over the tips of the trees when Charlie dropped us off at the school. He had picked us up from Grace's house 10 minutes late. Everyone was inside by the time that we got there. Except for Ben, Embry and Jacob. Embry and Jacob had situated themselves on either side of the school doors, while Ben stood off to the side, obviously uncomfortable by the two sex gods in front of him. They were shrouded in darkness from the setting sun, but Jacob's signature laid-back slouch set him apart from Embry, as was his height alone. He must of heard/seen the police cruiser, because he straightened up.

Charlie parked the car in the front and turned around in his seat to face us. "Bella do you have your bear spray still?"

"No…why would I need that anyway?"

He shrugged his shoulders, and fingered his trimmed mustache, "Just in case, you know?"

Grace laughed and pushed open the car door, "I'll protect her Charlie."

His face flushed a little and he turned back in his seat. He mumbled something that seemed to be a 'thank you'. Together, we got out of the car, and Charlie pulled away. The hum of the ancient motor shambled off into the distance.

Jacob's lumbering form exited the darkness and he walked toward us with an obviously very large grin on his face. The grin however, faded when he glimpsed me. He stared for a while, his face pulled into a firm grimace.

He hated it. He thought I was overdone. I'm ugly. I should have just done my makeup myse-

"Bella?" He interrupted my inner montage.

I looked into his dark brown eyes and tried to decode the cryptic map infolded within them.

"You look…" He struggled with his words. His jaw worked to pick just the right adjective, "Stunning."

"You don't look so bad yourself." Of course it was a drastic understatement. A white button down was tucked haphazardly into dark blue jeans. They were so dark; they could qualify for dress pants. The first 2 buttons of his shirt were undone, so between the 'v' like crevice the two sections of shirt created, a slip of warm russet skin was visible. His pronounced collarbones, and the tips of his perfect pecs, just peaked through. It was drawn up to his elbows, and bunched around the volumes of muscles around his midsection. His prickly face, and narrowed eyes were the epitome of sex.

He was hot. Hotter than hot; I felt like I would combust into flames from just looking at him.

"Bella?" He said, accompanied with a sharp snort of laughter.

I looked up into his eyes and blurted out the first thing I could think of, "We look like we're getting married."

He looked down at himself and then at me. He grinned and placed a hot hand on my lower back. My feet slithered up to him as if on their own accord, until they were pressing against his worn out timberlands. "We kind of do."

Jacob dragged me into the party with only a little bit of convincing. Angela and Grace each followed suit with their respective partners.

The gym floors were draped with simple brown mats with suspicious grey spots z strewn through the surfaces that were usually reserved for hot yoga. Colorful paintings depicting the prom's theme, 'A Night in Paris' adorned the grey walls, giving the entire space a closed in suffocating appearance. Tons of sweaty bodies danced erratically on the dance floor to the thumping bass blasting from the speakers near the DJ's table. It was exactly the kind of set up I liked to avoid; tight, closed in spaces.

Jacob must have sensed my unease, because his affectionate mouth pressed against my temple where my pulse hammered furiously. "Don't worry. Everything will be ok."

He led me to the centre of the dance floor. The sea of teenagers parted around Jacob's massive body to give us easy access. Once there, he pulled me into position, and his gigantic hand guided mine to their appropriate spots. His fingers grazed down my sides, sending shots of electricity to tingle my spine and erected the hairs on my arms along the way, to rest comfortably on my hips.

I could feel a blush seep onto my already flushed cheeks. I'd never had him touch me like this in public places. What would the others think?

My eyes darted around the room to see who was staring, but there was no one; no one except for the occasional glance from an overly done up, fuming Lauren. Her I could deal with.

"You're really good." I mumbled into his chest. Even with heals, I couldn't look him in the eye. His swaying hips captured the rhythm of the music to a tee, while my clumsy footfalls some how always managed to stay one step out of time.

"One…two. One…two." He repeated over and over again. White teeth gleamed against his brownish lips, as he smiled his signature sunny smile.

I focused on the pace that he supplied to me and attempted to match my moves to the ones he spoke. To my astonishment we moved in harmony; like the entire sequencing of the music had changed to match our movements.

I felt like I was dancing on air as I let the music control my body, even when it switched to a much more upbeat tune, my feet stayed in sync along with Jakes. His hands left my sides to allow me to fend for myself and somehow I was still able to manage.

We danced together for quiet some time, getting bolder and more carefree with each song. I didn't want this to end, I didn't want Jacob's occasional hot touches to cease, I didn't want the thump of the music to slow the flames that had begun to spread inside of me.

"There you go." He mused after awhile. While I was panting like crazy, he didn't even seem to be breaking a sweat.

"How do you do that?" I inquired after a sudden gulp for cool air that was beginning to go extinct in the molten air.

He laughed and his dark black eyes connected with mine. A sly grin took control of his face, "You wanna go somewhere else to cool down? I can't be making this any easier for you. Since you can't handle my hotness"

I punched him weakly on the arm, even though I knew it would hurt me more than him. "Yes please." The pumping music was beginning to cause a kind of pounding in my head.

Instead of replying he latched onto the crook of my arm and dragged me through the open gymnasium doors. The air was indeed less warm there, but it was still muggy with the sweat of students. He looked down at me for a reaction. When he seen I wasn't pleased, the school door opened next.

The rush of cold air jolted my skin and dried the sweat almost instantly before the heavens opened up and a shower of rain cascaded from above. Jacob's arm snaked around my waist and pulled me close to him. His heat leapt off of his skin and sank into the pores of mine.

He smiled down at me through the dewy black eyelashes framing his narrow lids, "Bella…"

"Hm?"

"Date. Me, you, next week?"

I nodded a little while smiling the whole time. I felt like I was weighed down on pillows. Those dreamy sighs that girls always seemed to do in movies when they seen their crush suddenly made sense.

He grinned and sunk his fingers into the meat of my sopping dress and hauled me up into his strong russet arms.

"Where are we going?" I mumbled into his chest, as my face was stuffed into it.

The slight bounce in his step was relaxing. "I want you to see something."

We- er…he walked into the woods and into the dark shadows. The party left long behind in a matter of minutes as the wind pierced my skin with his astounding pace.

* * *

><p><strong><em>~Missy<em>**


	23. How Sensational

23. How Sensational

* * *

><p><em>I've been awake for a while now<em>

_You've got me feelin' like a child now_

_'Cause every time I see your bubbly face_

_I get the tingles in a silly place_

_~Bubbly; Colbie Caillat_

* * *

><p>The scent of grass had always been my second favorite scent. Freshly snipped, drenched in freshly fallen rain; it all smelt so good. The only thing that could beat it was freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, warm and molten…freshly pulled from the oven. But when Jacob's warm breath rustled the bright green blades next to my nose I realized that THAT was my favorite scent as it combined all of my favorite things; the intoxicating aroma of his breath, the smell of grass, and Jacob was much more desirable then cookies. Especially when his skin peaked through his drenched unbuttoned shirt.<p>

He lay on his side next to me, so close I could feel the warmth radiate off of his skin. One hand was tucked underneath his full head of hair, while the other lay on the bump of my hip. He massaged slow circles into the fabric, his dark brown eyes trained on the movement. His cherry bitten lips were parted with the gentle exhale of his breath.

After a moment his gaze returned to meet my eyes. He blinked lazily, and then again. His pupils widened to encompass the charcoal circles with a deep black, and the relaxed smile he wore burned more intensely on his face.

"What?" I mumbled, while feeling the corners of my dry lips pull up into a smile that mimicked his. I gazed into the blackness of his eyes to look at my reflection hidden inside of them. I couldn't help but wonder if your reflection in another's eye was reflective of the other's thoughts. I was sure thinking about him, and I knew he was thinking about me too.

Instinctually we both leaned in, but before contact could be made, he mumbled,"Guess what time it is."

I broke my gaze from his eyes for a moment, and the sudden blurriness from overly focused eyes made me feel like I was awakening from a trance. I blinked a couple times and gazed into the pitch-black forest that surrounded us. There was no way I would go into the forests at night ever again; I wouldn't even drive, but as long as I was with Jacob I felt like I had no reason to worry. Which I suppose was true, he had sworn to me multiple times that he loved me and that he would never let any harm come to me ever again. I believed him whole-heartedly, there was no way I couldn't.

"I have no idea." I replied as I returned my eyes to where they belonged.

He smiled and his entire body froze. Apart from the murmur of his lips, he was like a statue, "Do you hear that?"

I strained my ears, but all that I could hear was the buzz from mosquitoes that refused to part from the side of my face, no matter how many times I slapped at them. I shook my head, while watching him carefully.

"That." He moved his tongue rapidly, making a slight 'click' sound that made me blush, "It's a cicada. They come out at midnight."

"Exactly at midnight?"

He laughed and the sound made my heart burst into a frenzy of flutters. Somehow, his laugh always had that effect on me, "Not exactly. But around there."

Midnight. That meant that Prom had officially just ended. Jacob and I had escaped the hysteria three hours prior. He had whisked me off, running the entire way.

He led me to the beach where we hung out for a couple of hours. We hadn't been exactly prepared for the beach so we simply stayed in our prom clothes, drenching ourselves in both the water that fell from the sky and the freezing cold water of the ocean. Once I had begun to shiver profusely and his hot groping hands could no longer warm me, he carried me into a meadow just off the beach. While I sat trembling on the ground, he maneuvered tree branches into a makeshift canopy that was capable of keeping much of the rain off of our heads.

The canopy still allowed us to stare up at the diamonds in the sky, so we lay in silence in each other's arms for a couple of minutes. I had just begun to warm up when the bottom half of my dress mysteriously disappeared, transforming the once beautiful vintage dress into a sleazy club number that wasn't capable of even keeping my thighs warm.

He felt bad; he was just trying to remove a spider that had attached itself via friggen super glue to the bottom of my dress, but I wouldn't forgive him…not until we were even of course.

Off went the buttons of his shirt.

"You're quiet." He mumbled though his slightly parted lips. The rise and fall of his chest was visible though the strip of skin that peaked through the flaps of his shirt. I watched it for awhile, loving the sight of it. He looked so alive, so beautiful, so natural and perfect. And mine. He was mine , "Do you wish we had never left?"

I shimmied closer to him, tangled my legs with his, and buried my face into the crook of his armpit. The stench of his sweat made me want to gag and breath it in all at the same time. Even when he stunk, he still smelt so good, "No. I'm glad we did."

"If we hadn't of left I wouldn't of ripped your dress."

"It doesn't matter Jacob." I smiled up at him and pressed my lips to his.

His eye's flickered close on contact, and his adorably long eyelashes brushed across my cheeks. I closed my eyes as well, quickly getting lost in the kiss even if I was the one leading it. Jacob broke contact a little, "So you're not mad?" He mumbled while a stray finger drew circles around the apples of cheeks.

I stared at his still closed eyes and cracked a smile, "Oh I'm mad Jacob. You destroyed it!"

Jake's eyes instantly snapped open, and when he seen that I was smiling his face broke out into his signature sunny grin. "But you forgive me." He said, managing to somehow pull the words from my head.

"I do."

We fell silent again; perfectly content in to simply lay in each other's arms. Slowly the sound of clicking rose overcame the cricket and howls of awakening creatures. The steady thump of his heart against my shoulder was calming and I felt myself drift off in his arms. The slight breeze that came off of the ocean was refreshing while the heat that leapt off his skin managed to keep the chill of the nighttime air at bay.

Quietly, the throaty hum of his voice buzzed in my ear. I tilted my head back to glance at him and realized that his lips were spread and his purely fangs practically glowed in the darkness. His eyes were trained on the cliffs that rose from the surface of the water to peak at the tip of the full moon. "Why are you laughing?" I followed the direction of his eyes to see a blacked out shape on the crest of the cliffs. It seemed to be a car, a red one the more I stared at it. Or was it a truck? Either way it was there and that was what he appeared to be ogling at.

"That's my truck." He glanced down at me, a smirk spread on his lips, while cackles continued to seep out.

"How'd it get there?" I wondered. I appeared to be missing the point as he laughed loudly.

"Embry and I carpooled."

"So he took it up there…" I glanced back at the truck. I couldn't make out any details, it was too far away, but I'm sure Jacob could. His eyes were much more powerful than mine.

"Do you know what couples commonly do after prom?" The smirk had entirely faded from his face, but a childlike twinkle still shone brightly in the centers of his eyes. When he seen I didn't understand he continued on. The smirk quickly making its reappearance, "A boy and a girl will go up there and f-"

I cut him off with a wave of my hand, "You mean Grace and Embry-…In your truck!?" I made a face, "EW! I am never sitting in it again!"

He laughed harder. My reaction obviously amusing him much more than the situation its self. He pulled me up, and looked down at my hand that was clamped between both of his. "Come on. Let's get you home. I'm sure Charlie will start to assume we're doing the same thing right away."

"I'm not taking the truck."

"We won't take the truck." He smiled at me, "I've got another idea in mind."

He pulled the remnants of his torn shirt off and tossed it on the floor at his feet. His hands went to the buttons on his dirty jeans and pulled them down. Instantly my eyes stupidly snapped closed and my cheeks flared.

"Whoops. Sorry." He chuckled. Until the sound of rustling clothes ceased, I kept my eyes closed. When it did, I opened them and a large russet wolf was standing in the very spot that Jacob had been a few minutes prior.

I took me a few moments, and a gentle lick on the cheek from the wolf himself, to realize it was Jacob. I hadn't seen him in that form clearly before. Warm russet fur slipped through my fingers as I pet the top of his furry head. He was beautiful even in this form.

Jake dropped his belly to the ground and gestured to his back with his black wet snout. Hesitantly, I climbed onto him. Sure, I had spent a far amount of time on his back when we were young, but even though the gesture was old in theory, the sensation was entirely new. The bulging muscles hidden beneath the piles of fur blanketing his skin felt foreign and awkward. But as I shifted my hips to fall into the curve of his back, the awkwardness disappeared and it felt like I fit there, like puzzle pieces.

His powerful hind limbs pushed himself off the ground, making me cling to his fur as I fell forward. He swiveled his head backwards to gaze at me, his eyes in wolf eerily similar to his human ones. I offered an assuring smile and a kiss to his hairy temple before he shot forward propelling me backward and making a squeak slip from my lips with surprise. The wind weaved through the strands of my hair. I buried my face into his neck and tried my hardest to stay upright. Wolves really could run as fast as vampires, maybe even faster. The surrounding forest merged together into a solid wall of dark green, and the force of the wind made me feel like I was getting hit by a freight train. I liked it. I didn't want it to end.

All too quickly, the howl of the wind began to slow. The jerkiness of his muscles relaxed and then stopped all together. I pried my face from the indent I made in his fur and I looked around my surrounding's in awe. Through the sparse trees, the tip of the chimney peaked over the tops of the trees and Charlie's new police cruiser sat next to my truck in the driveway.

"How di-…" I knew wolves were fast, but I didn't know they were _that_ fast. The beach was literally miles away and we had traveled the distance in what would normally take 15 minutes in 30 seconds.

He lay back down with a snort. I climbed off of him and turned to walk to my house, expecting him to follow. When I didn't hear his footsteps, or anything for that matter, I turned around to see him upright, backing deeper into the forest.

"You can come in if you want."

He shook his head back and forth. Howls in the distance sounded and he perked up; his right ear swiveling in the direction of the sound. He whined once before turning around and disappearing into the forest.

"So much for no supernatural stuff_._" I mumbled aloud with a smile on my face. I kicked at what I assumed was a rock, but my foot was met with the crunchy surface of a crumbled up piece of notebook paper. I picked up the worn parchment and carefully unfolded it.

In messy scrawl, printed on one side of the paper were the words:

_Do you like sleeping? Me too. We should do it together sometime. _

_-Just kidding_

_I thought I'd right you this note to tell you I'm picking you up at 7 in a week for our date. _

_-Love you Bells, _

_Jacob. _

I laughed at his h sorry excuse for a pickup line, the entire way through the house and up to my room, Charlie was asleep in his rocking chair. Thankfully, or it would make for one awkward conversation to explain why half of my dress was missing. I collapsed onto the bed and hid the note deep underneath my pillows. The days events flew though my mind like the trees while he was running. I lulled myself to sleep with the breathtaking scent of his cologne on the note.

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><p><em><strong>Final fill in Chapter. Sorry for the lack of exctiment…:( Hope it's cute-ish though :P I just want to establish that they love each other. <strong>_


	24. Hot Damn

**_AN: Originally this chapter was going to be a 2 part one. But I realized that I wrote way to much for the first part, which would make the overall chapter probably up to 6-7000 words. So I split it into two. Sorry if this is boring. _**

**_ALSO, Breaking Windows was nominated for an Energize W.I.P Award, under the category: Most Promising Twilight Fanfiction~ non canon. I find this absolutely astounding, since I don't consider myself a very good writer. It's huge for me to even receive this nomination. So thank you.:) _**

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><p>24. Hot Damn<p>

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><p><em>Lying here with you so close to me<em>

_It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe_

_Caught up in this moment_

_Caught up in your smile_

~Just A Kiss; Lady Antebellum

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><p>The following Monday morning was filled with horrifying stories about the christening of Jacob's truck. Every detail was obnoxiously shared in our tiny huddle at lunch. Every 'eep' or face I made was scrutinized endlessly. And every sound affect or gesture, spilled from Grace's overly eager mouth in a jumbled heap. Sentences were fragmented by squeals; words pilled on top of each other until the very meaning's seemed incoherent. She didn't stop talking until the signal to the end of lunch rung.<p>

After Angela escaped into the mess of students spilling out of the cafeteria, Grace grabbed the inside surface of elbow, halting me. "Bella." She whispered, while her narrowed blue eyes flicked between the two remaining students huddled over an opened book a few meters away from us, "I know."

"What?" By the firm hold of her gaze, I could tell that I was expected to understand what she was talking about. But nothing in her sea blue eyes shone light on the intention buried beneath her words.

"I _know_." She repeated with more emphasis.

I shook my head back and forth in reply. Whatever she was trying to tell me, I didn't get.

"What Embry is." She added with a smile. Her arm dropped and the intensity once present in her eyes, faded with the last of the students.

We didn't even end up going to class. Once I finally understood the point she was trying to make, any gates holding Grace back burst. She talked to me in detail about how he showed her his wolf, her reaction, and his own. How the heaviness that always seemed to drag his shoulders down had lifted. How his smiles seemed more genuine and special, and how she felt that any barriers between them had astoundingly lifted in that exact moment.

She had of course taken it a lot better than I had. Like I didn't feel bad enough as it was.

Finally, the bell to fifth period interrupted our discussion and Grace figured she might as well get to class. I left the school without a thought about the lesson I was supposed to attend. My history teacher had told me not to come anyway. I had missed the last 6 classes and they were just doing review. There was no point. I couldn't catch up and I wasn't doing anything worthwhile in that time period. I might as well do something functional. Like sleep. Sleep would be good.

The calendar near the front doors reminded me that it was it was June 1st that Friday and the first day of summer vacation. Yet the weather moving in a whirlwind outside showed no signs of getting on the bandwagon to summer. Instead, dreary clouds cried, and the chill of a northward moving breeze exhausted any hint of spring that had started to appear. The sprinkles of green between the rows of brown grass were blown over with the wind, and the absence of sun cast shadows from the trees, giving them a spindly, bare look.

I pulled my hoodie more tightly around my body to ward off the piercing wind, and made my way to my truck in the far corner of the parking lot. Rain had not been in the forecast for once, so I had decided to get some exercise and park next to the trees furthest away from the school. I should have known better.

After slinking into the truck and immediately blasting the radiator for some much needed warmth, I checked my phone for a message from Jake. There was none.

It had only been a couple of days since I had last seen him, but it would be four more before I could again. His company was like a drug and I was already experiencing the withdrawal.

As if on cue, my side door jostled with a sudden shift of weight. With a scream trapped in the back of my throat, I grabbed the nearest blunt object and held it like a baseball bat. Though the cell-phone that was clutched between my iron strong fists wouldn't exactly ward off an attacker, it was better than nothing.

For a few seconds I was kept on edge. My quivering palms were slick with nervous sweat, my breath was hitched in my throat, and my heart bet so quickly in my chest that I was sure whoever was outside my door could hear it. I tried to calm down, but the immediate threat of the unknown was triggering my irreversible fight or flight response. I thought about simply driving away, but that would mean whatever was outside would have an advantage as soon as I turned my head. Instead, I focused in on the placid scene outside, and curled my fingers more tightly around the phone in my hand.

Suddenly, a furry head appeared in the window, and I realized with a shaky exhale that it belonged to a russet colored wolf. And I only new a few wolves tall enough to see in a window 5 feet off the ground, and only one with a coat in that beautiful shade of red, "Jake!"

In confirmation, his black lips parted with a wolfish smile, one that looked surprisingly similar to the one that he always wore. It took a few moments for me to release the phone that I had been holding onto like a lifeline.

"You scared the hell out of me!" I gasped, while slapping my sweaty palm against the window where Jacob's moist nose pressed against the glass. He jerked away instinctually on ample paws, and a cackle like sound left his opened mouth.

I shook my head at him disappointedly. My frantic heart gradually slowed to a healthy consistent pump, and my grimace lightened into a lopsided grin. He moved back close to the door, the cackling sound had ceased, but still hung like dust in the air. For a brief second his form disappeared, but he reappeared straight away. This time, wearing strips of russet skin instead of thick fur. He leaned down, since only his bare chest could be seen through the square of the window, and his grinning face leveled with mine. "Hi." He breathed, the soft sound like velvet to my ears even through the thick plane of glass partitioning us.

I moved to open the door, but one of his hands pressed against the handle. The defined muscles in his arms clenched as he forced the door closed. "Roll down the window."

I did as he asked and smiled as his face became clearer. Raindrops clung to the edges of his limp hair, to which I brushed them away so they wouldn't drip into his eyes, "Why can't I let you in?" I asked curiously while trying the handle again, but it was useless.

"I'm naked." He replied with a smirk. The twinkle in his eyes seemed to intensify, and I knew even though his tone didn't suggest it, they held a sort of smugness that dared me to challenge him.

"I don't mind."

He laughed and reached into the truck to caress my cheek. His blistering hot fingers hung against the surface my skin for a few moments, while the muscles in his jaw worked to formulate an acceptable reply. "I know you want me Bella, but at least have some decency." His left eye closed smoothly into a sexy wink.

I rolled my eyes at him playfully and swatted his hand off, even though the absence of heat created a shallow ache to spread in the pit of my stomach. He clung to the window frame instead and peered in, glancing around the truck bed until his dark brown eyes closed in on a jacket crumbled up on the passenger side. It was Grace's. She had left it in Charlie's cruiser after prom and I had meant to give it to her but had forgotten. I handed it over to Jake, but with a swat of his hand, he refused.

"Please Jake." I mumbled, with a deliberate bat of my eyelashes that always used to make Edward cave. Of course the only reaction I could muster out of Jacob was an imitation, "I haven't seen you all weekend and I want to see you in case I don't see you at all this week. Didn't you tell me yourself that you wouldn't be able to talk? I want to take advantage of this. " I negotiated with a shrug. It sounded reasonable enough.

"You just want to see me naked…" He said slyly in his deliciously husky voice. He laughed heartily but pulled open the truck door a little, reveling a slip of warm skin that snaked down his thigh through the slit in the door. I blushed without realizing it, generating another laugh out of him. "You can't even handle my nakedness. This is a bad idea."

"No!" I yelled, while slapping my palms over my eyes and closing them firmly so that it would be nearly impossible to catch even a glimpse of him. I fumbled around for the sweater and lifted it out for him to accept. "She owes you. Take her sweater and put it on your-…mmm." I felt my cheeks heat even more at thinking about…_it._

I seemed to be giving him the shits and giggles because he laughed yet again; however, the material of her sweater left my fingers and the truck sighed as it received Jacob's weight. "I'll drive you home." His calloused palm pressed against my thigh, and I slid into the passenger's side like I was on ice. Jacob climbed into the driver's seat and the rustling of fabric suggested that he was draping the neon pink sweater across himself. Slowly I opened my eyes and parted my fingers a little. The only thing I could see between the slits was sections of wet russet skin. He pulled the door closed and rolled up the window, blocking the chill of the outside air and replacing it with his own body heat. My fingers left my face to see Jacob staring. His face broke into a grin and he mumbled, "I'm decent."

The truck purred to life and he backed out of the parking spot without stalling it. Something I still consider an impressive feat. He turned to me when he was out on the main road, one hand at the twelfth position on the steering wheel, the other rested against his thigh. "My eyes are up here."

I had been staring without realizing it at the bare skin of his chest and the fabric covering his upper thighs. The hand that was on his thigh had created a kind of a hallow between his legs and even though I didn't exactly want to do it with the prospect of getting caught, I had been checking him out. Frankly, it was difficult not to. I had a beautiful, amazing, naked man beside me who I deeply cared about. It would be considered weird to _not _check him out, "I'm sure you're giving the gremlins under the seat a nice show." I gestured to his widely spread legs.

Something I classified as a relieved smile, danced on his lips before getting replaced with his signature smirk. He pulled his thighs closer together and plucked the material from between his legs to drape more comfortably over them. I watched the material settle, feeling like I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. Which… I couldn't.

"Better?" He mumbled while he focused on the road. The rain was making it hard to see and the last thing that we needed to do at this moment was hydroplaning.

I nodded. Though I wanted to talk to him, the situation that we were in put me at an unfortunate loss for words.

He leaned over and turned the radiator down, instantly decreasing the static that it made, which allowed the hum of the wheels beneath us, and crashing of the raindrops on the hood, to be more prevalent. I smiled a little at him and racked my brain for something; anything to say to him that may distract me from staring at his body, anything to stop my train of thoughts to go anywhere deeper into the inescapable pit of lust. "So the weather…" I managed. It had sounded a lot less stupid in my head.

He snorted and put both hands on the steering wheel, making the little material slip further down his legs until I swore I could see just a tiny bit of him. But before I could get a good look, the material, along with his hand returned to its original position. "Is your dad home?" He said a little bit more huskily then usual.

"No…" I mumbled while my heart started to pound frantically in my chest. Was this it? Was today the day?

He nodded and rolled the truck to a stop into my spot on the driveway. The ride had been surprisingly short with Jacob's body to distract me. The keys slid across the 2 feet of space I had subconsciously put between Jacob and I, and I picked them. "Thank you."

"Of course Bella." He said sincerely, while looking at me expectantly. A sunny grin appeared on his face and he laughed nervously, "You first."

Quickly, I scrambled out of the truck and stood awkwardly against the side of it in an attempt to look relaxed and cool. But in reality, the thudding of my heart was increasing by the second, and my poorly concealed, stupid grin was threatening to spill forth. Jacob appeared in front of me. Trails of water traced rivers down the bumps of his chest and stomach. I focused on watching the water droplets create their own paths down his buttery smooth skin to where they disappeared beneath the sweater that he still pressed into place. Of course, everything had to draw my eyes there.

Warmth leapt off of his skin and into mine as he drew near. My heart seemed to freeze in my chest, and I sucked in a breath as his molten lips pressed against mine.

At first it was chaste, like any other of our kisses had begun, but quickly it passed the line into heated. His hands were snaked around my waist, and the tips of his fingers darted beneath the fabric of my sweater, leaving blazing trails of fire in their wake. My arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, arching him forward and pulling him closer…closer. Why was he never close enough? As if in answer, one of his hands tiptoed from beneath my shirt down onto the curve of my bum. In one fluid motion I was hauled up into his arms, and my legs wrapped around his waist on instinct. One hand slipped into my hair, while his other lay somewhere at his side. My feet slipped into the strong arch of his lower back and I tried to keep my reactions in check. I could feel a seam of Grace's sweater press into my skin, signifying that he was still holding it in place.

But, the material gave way and my feet dropped from his waist until I was standing on the ground once again. The passionate kiss was stealing all of the air from my body, making my legs feel like jello, and like they could collapse from underneath me at any moment. I could of just pulled away to breathe, but that would mean breaking contact, and the last thing I wanted to do at that moment was for Jacob to be away from me for any length of time.

Unfortunately, it was he that broke contact after a few moments. His dark brown eyes were clouded with a heavy mask of lust, and his parted lips were damp with my own salvia. I tried to catch my breath and speak to him, but my heart was thudding so fast, and coupled with my gasps, I was left in an intoxicated state: unable to form any coherent thoughts or actions.

Instead I fumbled with my zipper, even if we were in a public space and my elderly neighbors were probably watching from between the curtains, I wanted it off. I didn't want to mess anything up, or push to far, but it _had_ to come off. One of his hands grabbed my own and forced the zipper back into place. His soft smile, made the butterflies in my stomach flutter their wings again. It was at that moment that I realized he was still naked, but before I could react, neon pink fabric obstructed my vision and a whoosh of air breezed past me. As I frantically yanked it from my face to give him my best impression of an angry look, I caught brief glimpse of his sculpted, bare body running into the woods.

"Where the hell are you going!" I gasped, between frantic pants, my fingers clinging to the fabric. My heartbeat picked up again as I stared after him, clutching my chest. I was astonished that he had the nerve to pull a stunt like that in a moment I was so vulnerable. Any other guy would have taken advantage of me.

"Sorry Bells, but I have to go! Wait until Friday." He seemed to be out of breath as well. Sharp snorts of laughter transgressed into a melody of howls as he disappeared behind the tree line and out of sight. He had told me the other day that he had daytime patrols for the entire week, since Jared went away with Kim. He must have snuck away, but Sam had called him back right then.

I stared down at Grace's sweater dangling from my fingers, and pressed it close to my chest. Hunched over it to protect it from the falling rain, I carried it inside, my breath still coming out in soft pants, and my legs barely behaving. Why did kissing him always leave me in a haze? I stumbled up into my room and cuddled up with the sweater, taking in the musky scent of his skin that still lingered between the fibers. With just a kiss, he managed to ignite every once of desire that burned through my veins.

"Friday." I mumbled to myself, "I just have to wait until Friday."

I let a wide grin control my face, and I pressed the cloth closer to my body. She was never getting it back.


	25. Like Fire

_**WARNING: Matureish-er themes :) **_

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><p>25. Like Fire<p>

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><p><em>Give me love like never before,<em>

_'cause lately I've been craving more_

_~Give me Love; Ed Sheeran_

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><p>I hadn't noticed the ache in my chest until Emily brought it up. It was shallow; a kind of dense pain that throbs consistently with every thump of your heart. It didn't necessarily hurt. It was just remarkably uncomfortable. Like an itch you couldn't scratch, a dry throat, or the sting of hunger; it was just there. Forgettable.<p>

I rubbed the spot absentmindedly. The more you thought about, the more noticeable it became.

"That's where I feel it too." She nodded her chin in my direction and brought her mug to her lips. Her Adam's apple bobbed as she swallowed the thick brown liquid.

I looked down. My fingers were frozen an inch from my collarbone, on the left side. Right where my heart was. "What does it mean? I think I've felt it before." I recalled a time, many months ago when I had felt a pain very similar to the one I was feeling now.

She shrugged her shoulders and set her coffee cup down on the table in front of her. She leaned forward and looked me dead in the eye. "It means you miss him. You haven't seen him for a few days. It happens."

" Who? Jacob?"

She nodded. A small necklace around her neck became entwined between her caramel fingers. "Nobody really knows why it happens, but it always comes about when they are gone for some time. Sam says he gets it to, but it hurts worse than it does for us. He describes it as a fire running through his veins. A burn that can't be relieved."

"Jacob's never talked about it."

"Probably because he doesn't want you to feel bad," She said slowly, her eyes gazing over my head. "I took care of her, don't give me that look Jacob."

I turned around and smiled at Jake's sopping wet form, standing in the doorway. Silently, he closed the door behind him and made his way over to me. Warm breath swept across my skin, making me shiver, as his lips pressed against my temple.

"Give me a minute." He mumbled huskily into my ear, making another wave of tingles shake my body.

He turned and disappeared down the hallway. Emily was piling freshly baked muffins on a metal tray. One by one, wet, muscular bodies filed into the tiny kitchen and grabbed as many as they wanted. I helped her refresh them, as greedy hands fought, crumbling and murdering some to dust. Minutes later, Jacob's arms wound around my waist. I looked up to him, to see his mouth forming shapes.

The second the words left his mouth, the boisterous noises the other boys made, drowned out his muted mumbles.

Instead of fighting to hear him, I pushed past the other bodies. Knowing Jacob would follow, I left the house and went to my truck, offering only a small wave to Emily who struggled to keep up the demand for her food. I felt bad for abandoning her at a time like this, but I was only taking up valuable space in the cramped kitchen.

Just as I expected, Jacob's form retreated from the house and over to my truck. He cleaned up. Freshly shaven, hair slicked back and smooth, and his clothes were neat and in order. He climbed into the driver's side, and smiled over at me. "Why were you other here? I told you I'd pick you up from your house as soon as I could."

"She called me and told me she was lonely. Sam's been taking extra long shifts too, hasn't he? I snagged you a muffin by the way." I pulled the still steaming cranberry muffin from its plastic wrap, and handed it to him. He took it with a silent word of thanks; a little bob of his head.

"Yes, but not for the same reason I am." He mumbled as he stuffed the muffin down his throat in just two bites.

I looked at him, at his face as he drove. It was molded in concentration. Eyebrows scrunched together; his hands in defensive positions on the steering wheel. "Then what," I asked quietly, "She never said anything."

"Because he hasn't told her." His hands gripped the wheel more tightly, "He promised her they would try for a baby as soon as the threat went away. She knows the Cullens…are gone, so she assumes they can now. He's avoiding her."

"But they're not…Grace's parents…parent is a vampire."

"I know." He said slowly, obviously taking consideration to form every word carefully. His eyes never left the road as he spoke, "I knew she knew them somehow, from the first time I met her. Sam knew too. That's why he left as soon as you guys walked in that one time. Embry's been using the imprint to find out info on her family. She doesn't know that they are vampires."

"Embry's using her? And you told me that Sam didn't like me. You lied to me?"

"No not using her…that was the wrong word." He shook his head back and forth, and swiftly merged onto the exit. The Forks road sign flew by, " Not really. He doesn't like you."

"Why? I've done nothing to him," I argued.

"He thinks you're using me." He glanced over. An emotionless mask concealed his usual vibrant face. I could tell that whatever Sam thought about me, had Jacob experiencing some sort of doubt. Whether he believed it or not, it still took me off guard.

"Using you? Is he crazy? Of course I'm not!" I stammered.

"I hope not."

"I'm not Jacob. I promise. Why would he think that?"

"Because you're a leech lover. Because he's gone, and now you're with me. If he comes back Bella…what are you going to do? Are you going to run to him? Are you going to forget all about me?"

His voice was as sharp as nails. It hurt me for him to think that what I felt and said to him was a lie. He's too amazing to be used, and I can't believe that he would think I would be capable of hurting my best friend like that. I'd had many low moments in my life, but I would never be able to go to that extremes. "That's what you think?"

His shoulders rose and fell abruptly. "Do you want to go to the movie theater?" He mumbled, effectively dismissing the conversation. But I knew that we would never have a pleasurable date if too many words went unspoken, so I didn't let up.

"Do you Jacob?" I pressed. My eyes hung on his as I spoke.

Instead of ignoring me like I expected, the truck veered off the empty highway, and bounced along the rough gravel of the ditch until it rolled to a stop among the greening vegetation. He swiveled in his seat to face me. His hulking figure smothered the tranquility out of the air, replacing it with dread, doubt, and anger. I pressed myself back against the window, remembering Emily's scarred face. Remembering what lurked beneath the surface of his usual calm façade, of what the monster inside of him was capable of.

"Should I?" He snapped. Something inside of him changed as he stared at me. His mouth fell open, the harsh slits of his eyes widened and softened, and he turned back in his seat to face the setting sun that peeked over the edge of the trees.

Softly, I said, "No Jacob. You shouldn't."

The Adam's apple in his throat bobbed as he swallowed his anger. Calmly, he pulled the car off the shoulder of the road and back on the pavement. As he drove, I took a glance at him, and prayed that the best of our date wouldn't be tinged with a sour taste.

Jacob's fork stabbed into his side salad at a restaurant I had already forgot its name in Seattle. He hadn't said more than 10 words to me for the entire ride, and even we sat facing each other with the curtains drawn close, the lights casting a sultry glow to the room, and soft music coming from the grand piano, he wouldn't so much as look at me for any longer than he had to. He was starting to cause a scene too. Every time something didn't go exactly how Jacob wanted, he would curse. The annoyed glares from the passionate couples surrounding us were getting more and more frequent with every passing second.

"Jacob…" I mumbled after he dropped a loud f-bomb after the crouton wouldn't go on his fork.

"What Bella?" He asked without looking at me.

"Forget about him. Stop thinking about him." I could tell by the way his mouth scrunched up that he was thinking about Edward. He always had problems saying his name, much like I used to have. It wasn't so much as painful for him, but bitter. He looked like he was sucking on a lemon when he would spat out his name. His mouth struggled to form the words, and it looked just that way now.

It softened quickly, and his head bobbed up and down in submission. "Sorry Bells." He mumbled, but the thick mask of melancholy wouldn't let up.

Half way through dinner, I thought I saw a glimpse of his signature sunny smile slip through when I dropped my fork on the ground, and banged my head coming back up. But by the time the throbbing pain had subsided, he was back to shoveling forkfuls of pasta into his trap, and a neutral expression was cooling his face. By the end of the date, however, he was just like his old self; making stupid jokes that could somehow make me laugh through the serious atmosphere.

When I finished my meal, Jacob was just scraping the chocolate sauce off his plate. Graciously, he pulled out his wallet before I could open my bag, and paid the waiter a handsome tip. He earned exactly 3 kisses for that.

* * *

><p>"Where'd you get that?" I asked pointedly, as Jacob pocketed his ID, and pulled me through the theater doors.<p>

"What was what?"

"You're not 18-"

He cut me off with a finger to my lips. His voice dropped to a mumble, as he ushered me into a row at the back, "Sam got them for us. He told us, that should something arise in our line of work…that we would need them for, that we should have them. He knows a guy in Seattle that makes them for a living. Seattle's filled with shady little businesses. J. Jenks his name is."

"I think the Cullen's knew him." I said slowly. The name sparked an ancient memory to ignite in my brain.

"I wouldn't be surprised." He mumbled. His voice trailed off as the previews switched into the opening credits.

For the first time, I actually got to take a look around the theater. It was practically empty except for an old couple in the first row.

I looked over at Jacob to see his eyes glued to the screen. From what I could see in the minimal light of the theater, the entire whites were showing. "Why did you pick this movie…"

"Huh? Well Little Miss Sunshine was sold out, so I just though-" I cut myself off this time when I finally looked at the screen. To my surprise, the movie Captive wasn't an action packed thriller about a psycho killer, but a hardcore S&M video, "Oh my god… So that's why the old lady at the ticket booth looked at me so weird when I asked for these."

"And why I needed the ID." He finished for me. Though I couldn't look at the screen, or listen to the obnoxious moans flitting out of the speakers behind our head, Jacob was all over it. Or at least, that's what it looked like. The expression he was wearing, was neutral, and could be interpreted either way.

"Jacob…" I whined, once the speakers behind my head started to emit terrible sounding grunts and groans. I was getting uncomfortable, and the scenes that played on the screen were the opposite of sexy. It was no wonder the place was dead.

I tugged on the hem of his t-shirt, but he didn't budge.

"Jacob…" I moaned again in displeasure.

Knocking me back a little, Jacob suddenly sprang up. In one fluid motion, the movie doors parted, leaving me all alone with only a whoosh of his departing air to keep me company. It took me a few minutes to pull myself from the chair and follow his rushed footsteps out of the movie theater's doors.

Once outside, the hustle and bustle of the ten o'clock rush blocked any sight of his hulking figure. Just as I was about to give up and go outside to my truck, a group of guys excited the men's washroom. Before the door, could swing closed, I thought I seen a glimpse of the jeans Jacob had worn.

Without thinking twice, I rushed up to the group of guys who were talking and laughing among themselves. I walked up to one at the outermost circle of the group and bit my lip as I waited for him to notice me. The smell of alcohol emanating from the group was sickening, and I knew that they wouldn't glimpse me unless I made my presence known, "Excuse me." I mumbled.

Surprisingly, the one I was closest to looked down, "Why hello little lady…what can I help you with?" The rest of his friends quieted, and looked me up and down. Instantly I felt violated, even though the looks were innocent enough. They gave off a certain…vibe that made me uncomfortable. Probably because there was so many of them, and they looked to be in their mid-twenties.

"I-Is my boyfriend in there?" I stammered. I realized too late, that it probably wasn't the right thing to say as a few of the guys burst into laughter. The one I had talked with shook his head.

"I'm going to need a better description than that darling." An amused chuckle slipped through his crooked teeth.

"Uh…" I suddenly shouldn't think of any adjectives to describe him, "He's tall, really tall and-d…"

The look of recognition on his face, made me trail off. "Yeah he's in there." A weird, slopped smirk took control of his face, "You better be a good girlfriend tonight."

"What?"

Him and his buddies burst into hysterical laughter. I took a step back, confused at why that would be taken as funny, "So naïve. It mean-"

But before he could finish the rest of his sentence, one of Jacob's burning hot hands dragged me away. The cold air hit like a ton of bricks, and Jacob breathed an audible sigh once he exited the theater's main doors. We walked down the streets of Seattle to my truck where he quickly slunk into the driver's seat.

"Sorry…I'll take you to see another movie some other time. I just can't go back there." One of his hands rubbed down his face, and something resembling a blush painted his face.

I nodded, "It wasn't a good movie."

He started the truck and drove off into the night.

After I few silent moments, I broke it by asking a question that was chewing at the back of my mind, "What did they mean by, 'I'd better be a good girlfriend tonight?'"

He shook his head, and his fingers tightened on the steering wheel, "Nothing Bella."

"No they meant something by it. They even laughed when I didn't get it."

"Nothing Bella." He repeated through clenched teeth.

I looked over at him. Beads of perspiration dotted his forehead, and his eyesnarrowed into slits, which seemed risky when driving at night. He had only one hand on the steering wheel, which again seemed dangerous should something pop out of the ditch in front of the car. The other was lying uselessly on his crotch…

It only took me 10 minutes, but I finally got it. I smirked to myself and watched the scenery blow by my window. "Oh…I'll be a good girlfriend tonight." I mumbled inaudibly to my reflection in the glass.

* * *

><p>Jacob leaned down to kiss me goodnight. Our lips molded together on contact. And though it was just as sweet and lustful as it had always been with Jacob, something bigger lurked beneath it. It was desire. Desire like a blazing fire that couldn't be contained any longer. It had started to consume me; eating away every last ounce of resolve I had in me to wait. I knew it would happen tonight. But would letting go douse the fire? Or feed the flames?<p>

When he tried to pull away, I pulled him back. When his lips started to slow, I sped up. When his hands stayed rigid at his sides, I let mine explore the surface area of his chest. And when our push and pull game finally started to earn a reaction from him, I drew back. The look on his face was priceless. But when I fumbled with the button on his jeans, it was snapshot worthy.

"B-Bella…" He stammered, his eyes widened to impossible sizes. His resolve and dignity crumbled away as his jeans fell to his ankles, "Your dad…" His voice was caught in his throat, and his breath thick on my neck.

"He's gone." I hissed. "Work or something." My confidence in this situation was surprising even me. I started to jerk on my button, but his hands knocked mine away and he did it himself. The light brushes from his knuckles on my stomach, made my heart beat so fast I thought it would burst.

I was hauled up into his arms before I could protest. We crashed down the hallway together, taking breaks to kiss, fist our hands in each other's hair, or rip off some remaining fragment of each other's clothing. With every one of his touches, I craved more. Every sound or moan he made, I wanted to hear it again.

The bonfire we were creating was smoldering. It left no room for embarrassment, second guesses, or regrets. I didn't even care that a couple of vases in the hallway were smashed to smithereens, or that the wall behind my headboard now sports a permanent dent. All that mattered to me was to extinguish the flames that were tearing me apart, and to get the relief I so desperately craved.

I have never and will never feel a feeling greater than the one that bubbled inside of me, the first time Jacob and I made love.


	26. We Forgot

**_Reallyyyy short :) _**

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><p>1. We Forgot<p>

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><p><em>I think it just may be perfect<em>

_You're the person of my dreams_

_I never ever ever ever been this happy_

_But now something has changed_

_We couldn't keep our hands off each other._

_~The Truth About Love; Pink_

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><p>When all was said and done, I didn't feel relived. Instead my body ached in a way that I had never felt before. It was raw, and more passionate. I craved him even more than I did before he took my virginity from me.<p>

Each time hurt more than the last, unbelievably. And yet, with each hiss of pain the heat and the desire never quit. It was a thirst that couldn't be quenched, a hunger that couldn't be satisfied; instead of numbing me like I so desperately hoped it would, it only made the feelings that much more real. And then I wanted to feel them again, and again, and again.

The pink in the sky had just begun to seep over the trees, when Jacob's exhausted and heaving form finally slinked out the door, and strode to his car still parked in the driveway. Unlike me, he needed time to rejuvenate, and after the fifth time that night, it was he who had to tell me enough. In all honesty it was at just the perfect time, because not 20 minutes later did Charlie's police cruiser pull into the same spot Jacob had been. I hurriedly cleaned up all the evidence that would give away Jacob's presence and fell into bed with just underwear on. Every nerve ending in my body was screaming and just the feeling of the threads on my bare skin was nearly enough to send me over the edge again.

I tried to no avail to go to sleep before Charlie came into my room. Even though I felt exhausted, the thoughts and feelings that ran in a whirlwind in my head prevented me from doing so.

Charlie's sleepy head peeked in through my door, and stupidly I grinned upon seeing him.

"Bella?" he whispered. He tiptoed to my side and sat at the edge of my bed. I hung on the covers to prevent them from sliding down my virtually naked body, "What's got you so smiley? "

I forced the grin off my face and an uncontrollable cherry red blush took its place. He tilted his head at me and looked around the room. His eyes hung on a sock in the corner and I realized with a sudden pounding in my chest, that the massive, grey sock was not one I had in my underwear drawer.

He audibly groaned, and a matching flush appeared on his cheeks. With downcast eyes, he mumbled, "You at least used protection right?"

"Dad-d…" I stumbled over the words. I desperately tried to think of an excuse about why Jacob's sock would be on my floor. But with each idea I got, I realized how ridiculous each one sounded, even in my head. There was only really one explanation that made sense, and of course that was the one that was true.

I could tell by the way that he wouldn't look at me, that he was even more mortified than I was. He quickly stood from the bed, like being there would somehow allow him to see what went on in the bed that night. He paced the length of my bedroom, while his hands raked through his hair. The way the muscles in his jaw worked, gave away how carefully he thought over his words. He must have decided on something after just a few minutes, because he stopped to stare at me. His gaze was surprisingly leveled. "Bella this is serious."

I broke his gaze to stare at my fingers. I wanted to crawl up and die in that precise moment. Charlie and I were anything but open in our relationship. We both had our own secrets, and we preferred it that way. Some things, I just didn't want to know about, and I knew some things he just didn't want to know about me. Our sex lives' defiantly made the top of the list.

"Bella," he pressed again, almost desperate to hear my answer, "This is serious."

"I know Charlie." I mumbled.

"Did you?"

"Did I what?" I glanced up at him. I had been so humiliated I hadn't really been listening to him, or at least let the meaning of his words sink it.

He sighed, like the very words caused him an immeasurable amount of grief, "Use protection…"

I tried to remember if he had or not. My heart thumped widely in my chest; I realized that I hadn't remembered cleaning any up. I dashed out of bed, and dumped the trashcan that was beside my bed upside down. Charlie moaned and slapped his hands over his eyes when he caught sight of how much of my skin my underwear left uncovered. I sorted through the contents of the bin, my fingers flying frantically over the bundled up tissues.

He had to have used one. He was a guy for God's sake. Didn't they all carry them in their pockets for emergencies?

My skin paled. I did a once over the garage, desperately searching for a wrapper or…anything. But there wasn't one. Not a single one. Not one for the five times we'd done it.

We'd forgotten.

Both of us. It wasn't just his fault. It shouldn't be. It wasn't solely his responsibility. It shouldn't be.

I glanced at the calendar over my desk where I kept track of my 'cycle'. "What-t day is it-t dad-d?" My voice shook as I spoke.

"June 2nd." he mumbled through his hands. He was still covering his eyes.

I scanned along the rows with my finger and stopped on today's date. My stomach suddenly came up into my chest and constricted, and my vision blurred with oncoming tears. I felt like I could vomit. On the little square that held June 2nd's date, was a little star.

My legs turned to jelly and they collapsed from underneath me. I curled up on the floor and let the torrents of tears spill from over my cheeks. I couldn't contain them any longer.

That was it. My life was over.

Charlie trudged over to me and knelt. He didn't seem to care that I was half-naked when his arms wrapped around my shoulders.

I used the star to represent when I was most fertile.


	27. The Test

**I have started a forum here on fanfiction called After Dawn ( forum/After-Dawn/135989/ ). If anyone is interested in joining, which is a roleplay, PM me! It's surprisingly enjoyable, and a great way to make some friends here on fanfiction and increase traffic to your stories. If it sounds intersting to you, or something you'd like to try out I highly recommend giving it a shot! I know I was relutant to try it out at first, but wow…it's so much fun! It certainly improved my writing skills and its kind of addicting too :P Don't be shy to PM me readers! :D**

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><p>27. The Test<p>

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><p><em>I can't handle this confusion<em>

_I'm unable; come and take me away_

_I feel like I am all alone_

_All by myself I need to get around this_

_~Take Me Away; Avril Lavigne_

* * *

><p>It took me four weeks after that night to gain the courage needed to head to the general store and pick up the dreaded pink package.<p>

Charlie didn't pressure me. He was in denial, we both were. I tried to forget about it; I didn't even tell Jacob though I suspected he knew something was bothering me.

I shied away from all of his touches, even the innocent ones. We hadn't so much as kissed since that night, and I could tell that the lack of intimacy was beginning to trouble him. He stopped trying to touch me altogether, and our conversations deteriorated each week until formal rubble was all that was left.

I wanted to touch him so badly. That night had been one of the best in my existence, and I craved to feel those feelings again, but I knew that if we let our hands get away from themselves, we wouldn't be able to stop. And for some reason this bothered me. If I wasn't pregnant, I could still become pregnant, and I didn't want to suffer through the heartache a second time.

Two weeks after that night, my period was due. I checked my underwear feverously, but it didn't come. I spent another two weeks praying that it was just late. It had been abnormally late before. Those two weeks passed without incident, and then a small bump began to form.

It formed just below my naval, just above where my jeans hit. It was hardly noticeable even when sticking out my stomach, but it was difference from four weeks ago. I had eaten a little more for supper the previous night, so I could have just been bloated, but the sight worried me and finally convinced me to get a pregnancy test.

I gathered up a few dollars, took a deep breath then took the plunge and drove to the closest general store in Forks.

As I held the long rectangular box in my unable hands, I wondered why the cheapest one on the counter had to have been a pretty pink color. Any woman, who decided to buy that one, probably wasn't ready to have a baby. Black would be a much more appropriate color. It certainly wasn't a bright time for me.

I figured that picking up a few other odd groceries here and there would give a small amount of protection against the prodding eyes of shoppers. Rumors spread quickly though a small town like Forks. It would take no time at all for the world to know that Isabella Swan was pregnant. It wouldn't even matter that it was just a test, not a confirmation. Even though tons of women took pregnancy tests when they weren't pregnant, it implied the notion that the risk of pregnancy was there. The rumor that the innocent and naïve Bella Swan had sex would spread just as quickly.

I had never been good at concealing my nervousness, and today was no exception. My hands shook as I dumped the items on the counter. The old woman sitting behind the till gave me a strange look as she rang up the items.

I bit my lip and fidgeted in place. Something probably would go wrong. The pregnancy test probably wouldn't ring up right, and then they'd have to broadcast it across the entire store. All attention would be drawn to me. Everyone would see the stupid test in my cart.

I let out a relieved breath of air as the test passed smoothly over the sensor without letting out a wail that singled my demise. She simply plopped it in the bag, where it disappeared among the other random items.

There was a shuffle from behind me, and I silently prayed that I wouldn't know the fellow customer. I handed the cashier the appropriate amount of change and waited impatiently for her to do up the receipt. I cringed when the booming voice behind me cried out as I could recognize the voice anywhere.

"Bella!" Lauren cried. She grabbed on to my forearm and whirled me around. Plastered across her face, was enough make up to dress three clown, and a disgustingly cheery smile blossomed under her pink colored lips, "How nice to see you!"

Her greeting was so obviously fake that I couldn't even muster up a smile in response. I glanced past her head to look at the clock hanging on the adjacent wall. Five o'clock. I promised Charlie I'd be home by five thirty to make supper. I had spent nearly two hours in the parking lot of the general store, trying to muster up the guts to pick up the dreaded test. He'd be wondering where I was. I had to get home.

"Yeah, you too…um…" I trailed off. Even though I hated the girl with every fiber of my being, I didn't want to start a scene. I had to think of something civil to say to her; unfortunately my brain wasn't able to form any genuine sounding replies to say to the witch, "I have to go."

I pushed past Lauren and made haste to the door. My red pick up sitting idly in the parking lot was like a far off beacon. I just had to make it to it and I'd be safe. Just a few more steps…

"Wait! Bella!" Lauren called from behind me. The clack of her absurdly high heels became louder with every one of my steps. I pressed on, pretending I didn't hear the screech of her voice calling me.

But she didn't let up. She whirled me around again to face her, and with a malicious smile, handed me my receipt.

The parking lot had cleared out, except for another white car at the corner of the lot that I could only assume was hers. Without the little old lady to civilize her, Lauren dropped her kind façade. The look on her face looked frightening as she glared at me.

"I always knew Bella Swan would get knocked up." The look on my face must have pleased her as she snorted in laughter. "What? You didn't want anyone to know?"

I didn't say anything. I _couldn't _say anything. All of the moisture in my throat was gone, making intelligible speech impossible.

The receipt. She probably read it before she ran it out to me, or she had known all along somehow. But it didn't matter how she knew, she knew that I possibly had been 'knocked up'. Even if the gods decided to favor me, she knew that the prospect for pregnancy was there. Lauren Mallory was the worst person possible to figure out my situation. It wasn't a question of whether she would tell everyone, but how quickly the gossip would spread. Everyone in Forks and La Push would know by sundown.

She kept talking, and I, for some unfathomable reason, stood there.

"I bet it was Mike wasn't it? Jessica is going to be so pissed at you when she finds out you slept with her boyfriend. I saw him eyeing you at Prom. Or was it Tyler? I always knew you had a thing for him. You always had a thing for the guy I liked." She scowled, her own assumptions making her angry. Her eyes twinkled and she smirked. "No. I know who it was. It was that boy you went to Prom with…what was his name…," she trailed off then laughed a second later, "Jacob! That's his name isn't it? The hot boy from the reservation. What did you have to do to sleep with him you whore? Slip him some cash? Or he probably just raped you didn't you? You slut."

How someone raping me, made me a slut was beyond me. I so badly wanted to wipe the proud look off her face, but my moistening eyes stopped me. My anxiety made me emotional, so instead of retaliating I simply walked past her.

She cried out again for my attention. She called me every name in the book, while laughing incessantly. Finally, I made it to the safety of my truck and slunk into the driver's seat. I pushed the despicable bag across the seat and wrung my fingers through my hair.

For the second time in those dreaded four weeks, I cried. I wasn't ready to be pregnant; I wasn't ready to be a mother. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be a mother at all. I never had been good with children; it wouldn't make any difference to me if they were my own.

I could hear Lauren speed off in her fancy white car, yet I still sat in mine. I felt so alone in that moment. I wished I could take everything back. I wished I had remembered protection.

There was a rap on the window of the truck, vying for my attention. I looked up into Jacob's solemn face, staring worriedly at my own.

The rain made his nearly naked body slick. I could see the tips of his boxers through the window. This time he wasn't naked, I didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing. When he gestured for me to open the window, I opened the door instead. After sliding across the seat, Jacob's body my own. The warmth of him soothed me.

I watched a little pool of water collect underneath him on the, then dart over the side with a consistent drip. I watched it for a while, until Jacob cleared his throat.

"Why are you upset?"

My tears still lingered on my cheeks, and it was when he broke the silence that I remembered their presence. I wiped them off with the back of my fist and silently placed the bag in his lap. He would, after all, find out eventually.

He stared at it for a moment, obviously unsure of what he was to do with it. After looking at me for confirmation be began to take each item out of the bag.

With each item his face grew more confused, until at last the only purchase inside was the pregnancy test. I watched him carefully as he took it in, and when he cautiously held it in his hand. His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he took in the hard to swallow news.

"You're pregnant," he whispered, still examining the package. With a groan his large fingers raked through his hair, "Shit. It's my fault. I forgot to use protection…" his curled fist slammed against the seat next to him, making the truck rattle, "Fuck Jake! I had it in my pocket and everything just in case. I'm so sorry Bella."

I said nothing for a while. There was nothing much I could say. It wasn't his fault; it was both of ours. But I knew that he wouldn't see it any other way.

"I'll get rid of it," I whispered, "I've made my decision. We can't look after a baby…you're still a kid Jake."

His mouth fell agape. He obviously hadn't been expecting that, "A-Are you s-sure?" His voice shook as he spoke. I couldn't tell what he was thinking by the expression on his face. It was hard and lifeless. It could be interpreted either way.

"We're not ready."

Jake's eyes closed along with his mouth. Finally, he opened them and looked at me, they were dull and dead, "I'll drive you home."

We didn't speak on the way home, and I hardly smiled at him when he parked in the driveway and disappeared into the woods. I hauled the bag inside, and nodded at Charlie who was sitting at the kitchen table with an open box of pizza. He didn't say a word to me as I headed up the stairs. He hadn't said much to me since that night either.

The first thing I did was head to the bathroom. I wanted to get it over and done with as soon as possible. I was beyond anxious.

I shut the door behind me and took a deep breath. With shaking hands I ripped open the dreaded pink package. Carefully, I read over the instructions, not daring to take any chances.

It would take a few moments before the results would be displayed so I took the time to pace back and forth. _I couldn't be pregnant_, I assured myself, _There was just no way. I couldn't be. I couldn't be. _

The little timer that came with it beeped, singling the end of the horribly long two minutes. I took another long, deep breath and took a look at the test.

I triple checked the test, and the instructions before I let the news finally sink it. Two pink lines. Even though my eyes had grown blurry, and I could hardly see, there was no doubt about it that there was two, disgusting, pink lines.

I was pregnant.


	28. Pregnant

**Last chapter before shits hits the wall. Uh oh. BUT I'M EXCITED! **

* * *

><p>28. Pregnant<p>

* * *

><p><em>So dust off your highest hopes<em>

_All I know is pouring rain_

_and everything has changed_

_~Everything Has Changed; Taylor Swift_

* * *

><p>Once the shock of the confirmation died down, and my sickening sobs had ceased, I carefully made my way downstairs. The sharp decline of the stairs seemed even more harrowing than usual, and my tight grip on the hand railing didn't help. On the fourth step from the top, my toe slipped over the edge and I jerked forward. I gasped in surprise, even though falling down the stairs once happened daily. I landed in a messy, and crumbled heap on the floor. My hands had instinctually wrapped around my middle, shielding my unborn child from the fall. With maybe a bit more haste than what was necessary, I ripped my arms off of my belly and beat them against the floor in anguish. Things just weren't going my way.<p>

Charlie's footsteps echoed down the hallway. He stooped down in front of me, and hauled me to my feet, keeping his arms on mine for a few extra seconds to make sure I was properly balanced. Soon, his eyes leveled with mine. Though I locked myself away in the bathroom while I cried, the walls were paper-thin and sound carried easily though the small house, Charlie would, without a doubt, have been able to hear me, and yet he feigned perfect innocence.

"What's wrong?"

The second the words left his mouth I pulled back and dropped my gaze to the floor. Quickly, I wiped the dirt and dust off my pants, anything to distract myself from sharing the inevitable. I was suddenly repulsed by having to reveal my 'problem' with anyone, even my father who already knew that the risk was there.

"Bella…" he pressed, his voice taking on a fatherly edge. The sound made me cringe and he sighed, "It's fine. We'll get through this."

Finally, I glanced up at him. He was staring down at me, a knowing gleam, sparkling in his eye. I hadn't expected his support. Maybe it was because he was a police officer and it was in his job description to offer condolence in distressing times, or maybe it was because he too had a child at a fairly young age and could relate. I hadn't expected that from him nevertheless.

I couldn't think of anything to say to him, I just offered a little bob of my head in reply. "I need to tell Jacob," I whispered, before grabbing my truck keys off the counter and scrambling out the door.

Charlie stood in the doorway and called out to me over the roar of the truck's engine, "Careful Bella. Remember it's not just you that you have to look after now."

Those few simple words struck me cold. Everything seemed more real; I really was expecting a baby. My own child…one whose fate I had already decided. I slammed the door behind me. No way was I going to reconsider my decision. Not because of something Charlie just off handedly mentioned.

I floored it all the way to Jacobs, my baby's safety the last thing on my mind. I arrived at the Black's house in record time. I had just pulled onto the rough gravel that made up their driveway, parked, and swung my left leg out of the vehicle when Billy's form greeted me on the porch.

"Bella…" he muttered once I stood in front of him. The rainwater flowed down the eves and pooled down at my feet. I pressed myself against the house, making my body turn away from his. The roofing protected me from the downpour there, and it also allowed me to hide my face; I'd probably have to share the news with him too.

"Jacob's not here," he finished, after I failed to greet him.

"When will he be back?" I whispered to my reflection in a little pool of water a few inches from the tip of my shoes. My voice shook when I sighed. Who knew revealing that I'd slept with his son was so nerve-wracking? "Billy I need to tell you something."

Though my voice never went louder than a whisper, he must have heard me as the porch boards creaked when he wheeled over them. His rough, hardened with age, hand passed over mine. Gently, he guided me around to face him. His equally rough face peered up at me, but his eyes were soft and comforting. It was an oddly Jacob-esque look.

"You're pregnant aren't you?"

I couldn't keep eye contact any longer. When he seen that I wasn't in any state to comment, he continued.

"Jacob told me he slept with you that night." The look I gave him made him chuckle. He shook his head, "It was really eating him up inside…that he forgot…you know…" he trailed off and cleared his throat for the secon

* * *

><p>d time. The topic of conversation obviously wasn't just embarrassing for me, but unlike myself he didn't just give up, "He said that you weren't sure if you were pregnant…though you suspected it. You know now don't you?"<p>

"Jacob told you all _that_?" I blurted out with distaste. It kind of shocked me that Jacob would be willing to tell his own father all about what I thought was between just us. However, the second the words left my mouth, I regretted them.

Visibly, Billy tensed. The gentleness once present in his eyes disappeared, and I could practically feel the giant steel wall being built up between us.

"Of course he told me all that. I'm his father Bella," he hissed, "Jake also told me that you were looking to get rid of it."

The harshness of his tone made me cringe. Just like Jacob, Billy didn't seem keen on the idea. "Yeah I am." I straightened up, and tried my best to replace the nervousness in my voice with confidence, but it just sounded forced and even weaker than I actually felt.

I had started to doubt the decision I had made because of what Charlie had said to me, even though I didn't want to let it get to me. I felt guilty, incredibly guilty. I couldn't imagine how I'd feel after I aborted my baby. But what other option did I have? I couldn't deal with a ballooning belly, the disappointed stares from nosy people, the birth, the diaper changes, its first birthday – nothing. I just wasn't ready for motherhood.

"Bella you can't…" Billy's voice had softened again in a way I could tell edged on persuasiveness, "You have no idea who that baby is. Jacob's baby -"

Anything that he said after that was just a blur. This whole time I had referred to the baby as mine, never as specifically Jacob's. I could feel my stomach come up into my chest, making me feel like I could vomit. My whole body swayed. Could I really hurt a piece of Jacob?

I left right then.

* * *

><p><strong>What do YOU think is going to happen next? You can guess, but I guarantee you'll get it wrong ;) Sorry for the long update! <strong>


	29. When I Look at You

29. When I Look at You

* * *

><p><em>I changed the locks<em>

_Upon the rock that_

_I waited so long to wear_

_In a desperate search to finally purge _

_Myself of the love we shared_

_And just when I'm gettin' there_

_Here you come like a train _

_Out of nowhere_

_~Baby You're Back; Crystal Shawanda_

* * *

><p>The walls were boring, the chairs a similar shade of puke. The whole place reeked of antiseptic and death, which I suppose, given the nature of the place, was fitting.<p>

Grace had offered to drive me to the clinic in Port Angelus after I told her the news. She had just gotten her license, and her mother had congratulated her with a shiny new car. She was eager to drive, and I didn't think I'd be able to manage by myself after the abortion. The nurse I had spoken to over the phone when I booked the appointment mentioned that minor pain was probable. I was more worried about my mental state after, but her warning was more than enough to convince me that I wouldn't be able to go through with it on my own. Jacob was out of the question, so Grace was the next best thing. She had some vague idea of what I was going through, being a fellow imprint and all.

I hadn't told Angela that I was pregnant. She would have been the obvious choice. I knew she would support me through thick and thin, and I knew her for longer. But the idea of telling her made my stomach crawl.

Something about her…I knew she wouldn't tell anybody, but that wasn't the issue. I knew that Angela was still…pure. So the idea of telling her that I was pregnant just felt wrong. Somehow.

The second the nurse called my name, my stomach constricted in my core. I felt like I could vomit; I couldn't move. The whole world started to spin, and I began to doubt myself all over again.

An overly warm hand gripped my forearm. Grace smiled at me carefully, the corners of her mouth pulled up into a tight-lipped smile. She wasn't too keen on the idea either. I could tell.

Nevertheless, she supported me. The feel of her hand, warm against my skin, made my heart slow. "If you're going to do it," she whispered, not daring to draw attention to me while I was in a place like this, "Do it now." Her tone was firm, and her bright blue gaze was piercing.

I nodded meekly, and swallowed forcibly to push the knot of bile in my throat back into my stomach. Slowly, I stood up, my knees trembling under me.

Grace stood up beside me, her hand on my arm again. "Do you want me to come back with you?"

"N-No." I muttered. I managed a faint smile and walked in the direction the nurse pointed.

Before the heavy, industrial sized doors managed to swing closed behind me, I heard Grace yell out, 'Good luck!'. Oh, the irony of the statement.

The nurse walked slowly behind me, which I thought was strange. I didn't know where to go. I glanced back at her, but she nodded me forward.

She was a burly woman, with pronounced dimples that stood out even when she wasn't smiling. She must have been around 35, maybe 40, but her eyes looked much older. A cross hung limply around her neck. It was silver.

"First door on your left," she whispered. Her voice was just as dull as her eyes.

I pushed open the door, and stepped somberly into the room. The walls were the same shade of boring as the waiting room. A few pictures of unborn fetuses, still cuddled up in the womb, hung on the walls. They looked haunted.

The nurse cleared her throat from behind me, demanding my attention. When I turned to face her, her eyes were on the floor, "Put on one of those gowns and I'll return to prep you shortly."

Once the door closed, I stripped, and pulled the sickly looking gown over my shaking body. I sat on the edge of the bed and rolled my fingers over the slight curve of my stomach. I wasn't really showing yet, but I sure was bloating.

The nurse came back a few minutes later, and sat on a stool at my side. "Lay back," she instructed, "and pull up your gown a little, I just have to do a quick ultrasound."

I did as she said and laid back. My heart was thudding so loudly in my chest I was sure she could hear it. _This was really happening._ I no longer was so confident in my decision as I had once been.

She rubbed a cool jelly on my stomach. Her fingers were calloused and firm, yet motherly. She sighed, "Bella is it?"

I nodded, not able to find my voice to speak.

"How old are you dear?"

"18." I whispered to anything but her face.

"18," I could hear the smile in her voice, "That's how old my daughter would be."

"Would?" The tense shocked me. I looked at her curiously.

I could tell the question troubled her as she had taken on a grave appearance. "Or son," she looked at me, her face heavy with sorrow, "I don't know. I had an abortion about your age."

I didn't know what to say, I just stared at her. I could tell by the way that she was looking at me, that she was itching to tell a story. I didn't stop her.

"There was a boy in my class who…caught my fancy I guess you could say. He was a beautiful man; nothing like the other, awkward boys in my grade. I thought he was different…-and he was, but not in the way I expected," she looked down at me, her eyes had taken on a playful edge; as if she were telling a joke, "He knew how to seduce a woman. Well.

"I slept with him at his parents house, with his parents in just the other room," she snorted and smiled stupidly at herself, "He was immature in that aspect, but oh boy was I smitten. So smitten in fact, that when he insisted on going without a condom, I obliged. I didn't know any better…

"My good friend convinced me to go to the pharmacy to pick up a pregnancy test a few weeks later. She thought I was acting weird," her face grew grave again, "I couldn't tell _him_…I just couldn't. I didn't tell anybody about the results, nor did I tell anyone about the procedure I snuck out to do. I thought I was being mature…making decisions about my body for once.

"It wasn't until several years later, once I was pregnant with my husband's child, that I felt even a shred of guilt," her voice quavered, and a few tears slipped down her cheek, "You don't know how hard it is to look at your beautiful child…a-and think about the one before him that wasn't so lucky…I'll never forgive myself for what I did to my child. Never.

"So I choose to work here. It puts my medical degree to good use, and I even get to save a few lives in the process. Don't tell my supervisor."

I swallowed thickly; the heavy walls I'd built around myself began to fall. My whole body trembled.

She shook her head, and her face was an emotionless mask again. The pad of the ultrasound machine passed over the left side of my lower belly. She stopped on the spot and pointed at the monitor.

"At 7 weeks you can start to make out features. Look…" she pointed at a bulbous shape on the screen, "Its head. You can even see its little eye. And look! I think she's smiling at you."

That was all it took. I jerked upright and scrambled to get my clothes in order. I slid off the table and made haste to the door. The tears were beginning to flow, and my voice gurgled in my throat. I could barely see a foot in front of me because I was crying so hard.

I practically ran to the safety of Grace's car. She was calling to me from behind, but I didn't dare stop to let her catch up. I heard the locks spring, and I slunk into my seat.

I didn't unwrap my arms from around my middle the entire ride home.

By the time we arrived in Forks, the tears had dried on my face, and my sickening sobs had ceased.

"I just couldn't…" I whispered to Grace, who hadn't said so much as a word the entire ride home.

"I knew you wouldn't," she whispered, staring straight ahead.

"You didn't?" I glanced over at her. If she had said something, maybe I wouldn't have had to go through the ordeal.

She looked at me briefly, her eyes soft," It wouldn't have mattered if I said anything though. You had to figure it out for yourself."

I nodded a little. She was right.

When my house came into view, my heart sped up all over again. There, in the driveway, was a shiny black Volvo. It wasn't the same color as before, but that didn't matter. I only knew one person who would bother to drive around a Volvo in a town like Forks.

My mouth seemed suddenly vacant of all moisture, and my arms tightened around my middle. My heart had scarred over since he had left, but it seemed to rip open again at the sight of his car.

"I've never seen one of those here before," Grace mused once she had pulled up behind it, "Whose car is that?"

I couldn't bring my lips to mouth out his name. His name was stuck in my throat. "Just wait here. We can go for ice cream in a bit…I just have to do something first."

"Bella! C'mon whose car is that," she asked again once I was outside.

I hovered at the door. I was eager to get inside to face him, but Grace deserved honesty after everything she had done for me. "My ex-boyfriend's."

I glanced back at Grace before I went inside to see her sitting shocked in her seat. Her car was still idling placidly behind the beautiful Volvo. I took a deep breath and slowly crept into the house.

He was sitting at the kitchen table, calmly talking to Charlie who sat across from him. His back was to me, but his striking bronze hair gave him away. Edward stopped talking once Charlie became aware of my presence. It was just a formality, as he must have known I was home the second the car pulled up in the driveway. The chair scraped backward, and he slowly stood up. When he finally turned to face me, his bright, golden eyes were already level with mine. He looked just as I'd always known him to; time hadn't touched him. His signature crooked smile, the one that used to take my breath away, hung low on his lips.

"Bella," he said softly in his deliciously toxic voice, "I've been waiting for you. We need to talk."


	30. Breaking Windows

30. Breaking Windows

* * *

><p><em>I wanna hide the truth<em>

_I wanna shelter you_

_But with the beast inside_

_There's nowhere we can hide_

_~Demons; Imagine Dragons_

* * *

><p>Edward didn't waste any time. Before I could reply, he was leading me upstairs to my bedroom; his arm latched firmly around my own. The chill of his skin was in start contrast to the warmth I had grown accustomed to. It used to comfort me, but now it felt foreign and odd.<p>

At the top of the stairs, I pulled back. I didn't like how he was leading me in my own home. He was acting like I allowed him in, like he had every right to be there.

Did he not remember what he did to me? It was as if nothing had happened, as if we'd never been apart.

The initial excitement at seeing him had long worn off. He was the man who had broken me, the man who had left me for dead in the middle of the woods. And here he was now, pretending that nothing had happened, like the idea that his actions had affected me in any way, were non-existent.

How dare he think he could just waltz back into my life, and expect me to follow him around like a little puppy. I didn't need him. I'd moved on, just like he told me to.

I stared at him coolly, my own inner mantra angering me more and more by every passing second, "Why can't we talk with Charlie? I'm sure he'd be very interested in what you have to say."

Something in his eye hardened, and it was the first time since he'd arrived that I remembered what he was capable of. But just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. He must have remembered that he was at fault, not me.

"Bella please," he whispered, his velvety voice edging on sympathy, "I just want to talk, to explain myself to you alone. Just give me ten minutes."

"Grace is here, she's taking me out for ice cream. I don't have time for this," I snapped back. I realized I didn't care that he could kill me before I could blink. If I had to die, I'd die knowing that he knew how angry I was with him. I was would be satisfied with that knowledge.

"Grace…" he trailed off, and then shook his head, "Just please Bella."

"Fine." I stalked off to my bedroom, knowing he'd follow. I plopped down on my bed, and absentmindedly rubbed the spot where my heart was. I was starting to regret the decision to avoid Jacob. Now that they were back, I was going to need him more than ever, and I wasn't so sure he'd be eager to see me again after everything I'd put him through.

We'd work through it though, now that I really was expecting our first child.

Edward sat beside him, so close I could feel the coldness of his skin seep into mine even though we weren't touching.

"I never wanted to leave you," he whispered to me. His golden eyes were molten and soft, the bronze strands twisting and weaving as he stared at me. They seemed genuine.

I scoffed out loud, recalling a time many months ago when he told me that he was leaving with a bored and tired sounding voice that still made me cringe, "Sure seemed like you did."

"I didn't," he pressed, his voice intensifying with every word, "I thought a clean break would be easiest for you. I thought you'd accept the fact that I was leaving, maybe even get a little mad at me, then move on."

"I did," I hissed.

He continued as if I'd said nothing, "Then, when I'd come back, we could start again. Move on together…" he paused, deliberately choosing his words carefully, "I still love you Bella."

I stared at him, my fists twisting into firm balls.

"Now come." He stood up, "Let's pack a few of your things, then I'll come to pick you up after you go for ice-cream."

My mouth fell open in shock. He genuinely thought, that since he was back, I'd just pack up and go with him. Where ever that was.

When he tried to grab my hand to hurry me along, I shot upright. I was practically shaking with anger, I could only see red. "Are you CRAZY?!" I screamed, my still curled fists beat into his chest, and even though I hit him with all my might, he didn't move back an inch, "There's no way IN HELL THAT I AM EVER GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU! YOU RUINED ME!"

Edward sighed and just took it. I was crying hard now, all the pain and hurt I'd bottled up since he'd left came rushing to the surface. I continued to hit him, punch him, slap him, and kick him. I was so focused on berating and wounding him, that I didn't even notice my bedroom door fly open, nor the rush of heat that accompanied it. I didn't even notice, for the briefest second, that warm arms had wrapped around my middle, and that Edward's body was no longer in my reach.

Jacob had wrapped his arms protectively around me. I could feel his body shake. Every inch of his skin vibrated intensely, like a train rolling over tracks. A low, throaty growl slipped through his bared teeth. I could tell, without looking at him, that indescribable anger clouded his face.

His enemy. The one who'd nearly ruined me. The man he hated more than anything in the entire world was right there. I knew he must have ached to kill him, and yet he struggled to civilize himself for me.

" You," he raged, his fingers clenching into firm fists against my stomach, "What the fuck are you doing back here?!" He clenched his teeth together, and his hands were growing impossibly hot against my skin. His body shook harder.

When Edward couldn't come up with an acceptable reply, quick enough, Jacob continued on, his words getting even more venomous.

'Leave," he snarled, "Don't even try to convince her to go back with your sorry ass. She's moved on."

When Edward didn't move, I broke from Jacob's grasp. I could feel him tense behind me, and when I turned back to look at him, his expression had grown considerably cold. I knew, that despite his livid mask, Jacob was truly afraid. All of his insecurities were getting the best of him. To convince him, I leaned up and pressed a kiss to his jaw, and whispered in his ear, "Don't do this right now. Just…I'll get him to leave."

Jacob's uneven breath tickled my face, and then suddenly a rush of air tore into my skin. I landed in a messy heap next to my dresser, my forehead colliding with its sharp edge. A stream of warm blood oozed over my eyebrow. Furiously, I wiped it away. I knew fully well that a bit of blood could easily awaken the monster hidden beneath Edward's smooth façade.

I lay there stunned; my surprise at what had just happened left me paralyzed. Jacob had thrown me across the room. The man who promised to protect me with his own life had thrown me, tossed me away like I was nothing at all.

My shaking fingers found my belly. I was fine, but I had sinking feeling about the wellbeing of my child. Pregnant women weren't even supposed to lift heavy boxes, let alone get chucked around like they were nothing but a raggedy old doll. Maybe not going through with the abortion had been futile; maybe its fate was already decided all along.

I pushed my body off the ground and turned around, intent on giving Jacob a piece of my mind. Even though he probably thought I'd already aborted our child, it was not okay to throw me around like that. I was breakable, unlike him. But my idea of telling him off, faded as soon as I did.

Edward's hands were around Jacob's neck; clenched so firmly his usually ivory knuckles were impossibly whiter. A large, snaking vein in his neck bulged as he strained to keep him against the wall. Jacob's face was so red, it looked purple. His fingers clawed at Edward's hands, and his legs kicked in some sort of grotesque dance. Gruesome, gasping noises gurgled from Jacob's throat, and his mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.

Jacob's body was shaking harder than I had ever seen it, but I knew that the only thing keeping him from phasing was Edward's hands around his neck. His neck would break, or he would soon suffocate. Either way, Jacob's end loomed over my head. It seemed ironic that the one room that I had truly lived with him, would be the room he'd die in.

For a brief, agonizing second, I admitted defeat. There was nothing I could do to stop the murderous monster that had taken over Edward. I considered screaming for Charlie, but there was nothing he could do either. But how could I let the man I so tenderly loved be mercilessly killed at the hands of my ex? How could I let him meet his untimely end when blood still pumped through his veins?

I threw myself at Edward, pounding against the rock solid plains of his chest with all my might. I screamed as loudly as I could, and prayed that the blood that still trickled from the wound on my forehead would gain his attention. Charlie had to have left, as there was no way he'd stay away at the sound of his daughter cry.

Slowly, Edward's eyes clicked with mine. They were empty black seas. I recognized nothing in them.

Once Edward's attention shifted, Jacob gained the upper hand. In a tantalizing turn of events, Jacob grabbed hold of Edward's neck, and together they plummeted out of the broken window.


	31. One Victor, No Winners

31. One Victor, No Winners

* * *

><p><em>And if I go, will you remember me?<em>

_~If I Have to Go; Tom Waits_

* * *

><p>For a few moments I just stood there. Broken glass littered the floor; the sound of it shattering twinkled in the air. I heard two heavy bodies hit the ground outside, their mutual growls echoed through the walls. The scuffle of feet through dirt, horrible cracking sounds, howls of pain, the wails of agony; none of them could persuade me to stop them. Probably because the silence in my room blared, numbing me. It was the loudest sound I'd ever heard.<p>

How could silence be so loud when the commotion downstairs was even louder? There was no doubt in my mind that this fight wasn't just a playful, rumble and tumble like I'd seen Jacob do so many times before. No, this time they were fighting for honor, to destroy one another. Any normal girlfriend would be at their side in a heartbeat, desperately trying to end the feud before lives were lost, especially since I was at the centre of it. But I couldn't move…

Maybe it was because I knew, with a sinking feeling, that there would only be one victor, and nothing I could do, would ever convince them to stop. Even if I flung myself in the middle of them, and forced them apart, I knew they wouldn't. I'd seen the look on Jacob's face when someone mentioned Edward's name, and I knew how much Edward despised Jacob, even before they knew each other. There was no hope. One of them had to win. I secretly hoped it was Jacob.

When shots were fired, I finally snapped out of the fog. There couldn't only be one victor. Although I was firmly with Jacob, I needed both of them to live. How could I let my boyfriend shred Edward to bits? He was the man I had pledged my heart to, the man I was willing to sacrifice everything for only a few short months ago.

It was a miracle I flew down the stairs without tripping once.

Charlie stood plastered to the wall of the house. He held his pistol raised straight towards the forest; fresh smoke lingered around the barrel. His eyes were the size of dinner plates, and his mouth wobbled like a fish out of water. Charlie looked so scared, I was afraid he'd fall dead at any moment.

I grabbed hold of his forearm, and applied a generous amount of pressure. His dead-eyed stare ripped from the forests edge, and he looked down at me. His mouth continued to shake, and haphazardly strewn together curses tumbled from his overly zealous lips.

"Charlie calm down!" I hissed. I didn't need him having a heart attack while the men I loved sought to kill each other just a few feet away. I had the faintest idea about what direction they'd gone; the broken tree trunks gave it away. However, I didn't want to waste critical seconds looking for them when every second could equal inevitable death, "Where'd they go?"

Surprisingly Charlie pointed to the back of the house, garbled chucks of words accompanying his gesture. I sped off towards the backyard, my feet moving practically as fast as Roadrunner's.

I don't think any amount of preparation would sufficiently prepare me for the sight I saw as soon as I rounded the corner. Jacob's wolf, towering over Edward, looked terrifying. His sharp canine's were bared, his hunches raised. Based on his looks, Jacob didn't seem like he could kill someone. Though he was dark and intimidating at first glance, his sunny smile warmed your impression of him, but I'd never seen him this angry. Even in my bedroom, squaring off against Edward, he didn't look like t_his_. He looked ready to kill; he _was_ ready to kill.

I found myself instinctually cowering back when a growl ripped through his teeth. It wasn't for me, I knew that, but the sound alone scared me. I didn't like this Jacob. I didn't want to see him like this.

However, Jacob wasn't the only one who looked menacing. Edward was in a defensive crouch, ready to attack. His warning hisses challenged Jacob's growls.

And then, without any hint of warning, Jacob sprung on him. Before Edward could react, his jaws closed around Edward's neck, and he pinned him with his weight.

I hadn't realized I was screaming until Jacob looked at me. His warm, though still dark eyes were wide with disbelief. He hadn't known I was watching them.

I didn't realize the consequences of my actions until Edward slipped from his grasp. Though his shirt had torn in too many places to stay on, he was otherwise okay. Jacob's concentration, however, shifted. He was so busy staring at me that he didn't notice Edward wind up. He didn't notice his fist flying towards his temple, and although he might have seen it from the corner of his eye before it connected, he didn't have time to react.

Edward had put all of his strength into the blow. It was as if Jacob didn't weigh anything at all. I didn't even see Edward punch him, just the aftermath.

Jacob lay in a pile on the ground; his naked arms and legs splayed carelessly in the dirt, lying in odd, unnatural angles. All of the air left my lungs. There was a pounding in my head as if I was the one who'd been hurt.

I don't even know how I got to his side. One second I was beside the house, the next I was laying beside Jacob. My useless hands furiously shook his shoulders.

His neck. Could a normal human neck bend at that angle?

Jacob blinked his eyes. He wasn't looking at me, but through me.

His mouth opened and closed.

A raspy gasp left his throat. It sounded like Bella.

I felt furiously along his neck for a pulse. My fingers shook. My vision blurred.

There wasn't one.

I looked back into his eyes, but they were already vacant.

* * *

><p><strong>Short because the next one will be long! <strong>


	32. Gone

**.~.~.~.~.**

* * *

><p>32. Gone<p>

* * *

><p><em>I would hold you in my arms<em>

_I would take the pain away_

_Thank you for all you've done_

_Forgive all your mistakes._

_There's nothing I wouldn't do_

_To hear your voice again._

_~Hurt; Christina Aguilera_

* * *

><p>When I was seven, my grandmother died. She had been sick for a while, spending the better part of two months cuddled up in a dingy hospital bed with only a staticky old box TV to keep her company. My mother, Renée, went to visit her everyday, trucking along little cards and crafts I would make for her when I could. On rare occasions she would take me along.<p>

I remember stepping into her room for the first time and wanting to cry. She was pale, almost as white as the comforter she had drawn up to her chin. She looked frail and sickly under her blankets, nothing but a ghost of the woman she once was. When I went to her side, she could hardly smile at me through her pain. I hated seeing her like that, but I still went to visit her. Each day could have been her last; I knew it without having to be told.

Gradually, the pain of seeing her like that slipped away. It still hurt to see her so sick, but instead I looked forward to being able to see her; to spend time with my grandmother before she would leave the world of the living forever. When she died, I felt like a truck hit me. I had mentally prepared myself for her death, but it still stung to lose her. It was the worst pain I had ever felt, and it lasted for months.

But the pain of losing my grandmother was nothing like the pain I felt when Jacob died.

There had been no preparation; I hadn't even seen it coming. Instead of feeling like a truck had hit me, it was semi. Every breath stung, every second of continued existence hurt. I couldn't even cry. My shock wouldn't let me.

I felt desperately for a pulse, my fingers gliding over the caverns of his neck. There had to be one. He couldn't be dead. My Jacob couldn't be dead.

I searched endlessly: his neck, his wrist, his chest itself. Futile.

He was gone.

Then, something inside of me snapped. I emitted a sound that surprised even me, a gritty desperate sounding moan that hurt my throat. My hands shook. My breath caught in my throat and I gasped for air. My lungs couldn't work properly; I didn't know how to breathe.

My hands found his shoulders and I shook with all my might, screaming and crying for him.

Cold arms found my middle, and they lifted me off him. I kicked and swung, the tears flowing down my cheeks impairing my vision. I needed him. _I need Jacob._

The arms, cold and odd, tried their best to comfort me. They were familiar, I knew, but I hated them. I wanted Jacob's, his warmth. Messily, they fumbled over my belly, trying to hold me in place anyway they saw fit. He was strong I could tell. I could feel his muscles strain against my stomach, and his chest was hard behind his cotton t-shirt. Nevertheless I fought. I didn't want to feel the coldness of his skin, forever ruined through brutal actions of a former lover, or even associate with a man who shared the same name.

Emmett.

My tumultuous mind briefly drifted to the Cullen's. Were they all back? I hoped so. I wanted to watch the pack rip them to shreds for murdering a fellow brother. I wanted to hear their screams; I wanted to watch the purple smoke rise over the tips of the trees. I wanted them to all pay for what he did.

"Careful Emmett!" an overtly cheery voice chided. The tears flowing over my cheeks began to slow just enough for me to see a black-haired pixie bound over. "She's pregnant."

Just then, a churning sense of calm boiled through my veins. Heavy like lead, it pulled me down, my back instinctually slumping in Emmett's arms. It numbed and cooled the fire blazing in my heart, even though I desperately wanted it back. It took an enormous amount of effort to look up and focus on Jasper standing across from me, his eyes narrowed in concentration. I so badly wanted to reach out and smack the stupid look off his face, but I couldn't find the energy. His cocktail of mind-numbing drugs left me practically paralyzed in his arms.

Emmett's arms went weak against my stomach, making me tip forward at the waist. In response, he tightened them again. His knuckles dug into my stomach and Alice screeched. I could barely feel her fingers brush against my stomach as he adjusted his hands.

"Maybe there's a good reason Rosalie is too afraid to adopt any children," she hissed, glaring at him, "You'd break them!"

Emmett grumbled a response, too deep for me to hear, but I could feel the rumble against my back.

Edward walked over to us and my heart sped up. I swore I could hear a howl roar from the forest. I glanced at the forest. It was dark. I wished I could see the wolves run. Their faces would be just as dark as mine was, hatred would seep from their very pores. It wouldn't be long now. Jacob told me the wolves shared a pack mind. They knew when a pack mate was in trouble, and obviously, if one had died.

I looked over Edward's shoulder. Jacob still lay in a heap on the ground. A halo of blood had formed around his shoulders, it looked black against the sandy gravel. I felt my stomach constrict again. I couldn't contain the geyser that erupted out of me. He really was gone.

A chorus of howls rang out. Edward hissed.

"Get her in the car," he snapped and walked to the black Volvo still perched in the driveway.

I felt myself get shoved into the back seat. Alice climbed in the passenger seat and Edward in the driver's. The door across from me opened, and Emmett shoved another body in next to me. It fell into my lap. My heart sped up, and I couldn't look down. Was it Jacob? Were they really cruel enough to put his dead body next to me?

After a few moments I forced myself to look down. To my relief, a wave of blonde hair had fallen across my lap.

It wasn't Jacob it was Grace. My heart sped up again. Had they killed her too?

I had just begun to plot ways I could viciously murder a couple of vampires when I felt her stir against me. She didn't awake, but at least she was alive. Maybe Jasper had used his power on her too.

The car fell into uncomfortable silence, at least, uncomfortable for me. I ached for Jacob, but even though I wanted to cry for him, I couldn't. A false sense of calm, masked my face and actions; even my rational thinking was hazy.

It probably took half an hour for it to dawn on me that the car was moving. Obviously, cars moved. That wasn't what surprised me though. What surprised me was that I was in the car, with Grace next to me and Alice and Edward in the front seat. They were…taking us somewhere.

My eyes slowly flicked to the window. A wall of green was basically the only thing visible. The sun was starting to dip beneath the trees; it must have been close to six by then. Edward had mentioned taking me away, he had even wanted me to pack a bag, but I had been so angry with him that I never really let it sink in.

They didn't come back to stay in Forks. They came back for _me._


End file.
